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Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Menby Lundy Bancroft
Synopses & Reviews
"He doesn't mean to hurt me-he just loses control." "He can be sweet and gentle." "He's scared me a few times, but he never hurts the children — he's a great father." "He's had a really hard life..."
Women in abusive relationships tell themselves these things every day. Now they can see inside the minds of angry and controlling men-and change their own lives. In this groundbreaking book, a counselor shows how to improve, survive, or leave an abusive relationship, with:
"Promises to be a beacon of calm and sanity for many storm-tossed families." Publishers Weekly
Invincible: incapable of being overcome
When you grow up living with domestic violence, witnessing those you love tear each other down with physical and verbal blows, your brain doesnt know how to deal with that.”—From INVINCIBLE's Foreword by Tony Robbins
According to UNICEF, growing up with domestic violence is one of the most pervasive human rights violations in the world, affecting more than a billion people. Yet, too few people are aware of the profound impact it can have.
INVINCIBLE seeks to change this lack of awareness and understanding with a compelling look at this important issue, informing and inspiring anyone who grew up living with domestic violence—and those who love them, work with them, teach them, and mentor them.
Through powerful first-person stories, including the authors own experiences, as well as insightful commentary based on the most recent social science and psychology research, Invincible not only offers a deeper understanding of the concerns and challenges of domestic violence, but also provides proven strategies everyone can use to reclaim their lives and futures.
What did you learn growing up with domestic violence? Do you know how this has had an impact on your life? How have you dealt with it?
Today, are there certain things about yourself that you wish werent true? Many of them arent. They are lies you learned.
INVINCIBLE exposes the lies, reveals the truths, and offers the insight and the skills you need to go from feeling and acting:
Guilty to Free
Resentful to Compassionate
Sad to Grateful
Angry to Passionate
Hopeless to Guided
Worthless to Accomplished
Fearful to Confident
Self-Conscious to Attractive
Unloved to Loved
The truth is, no obstacle you will ever face can compare to what you went through as a child and have already conquered. The author is donating all net royalties to the Children of Domestic Violence Foundation (CDV).
About the Author
Lundy Bancroft has spent the last 15 years specializing in abusive men. The author of articles in medical journals and professional books, he is the former co-director of Emerge, the nation's first program for abusive men. Now he trains various state and judicial agencies in working with domestic abuse.
Table of Contents
Why Does He Do That? Acknowledgments
Note on Terminology
Part I: The Nature of Abusive Thinking
1. The Mystery
2. The Mythology
3. The Abusive Mentality
4. The Types of Abusive Men
Part II: The Abusive Man in Relationships
5. How Abuse Begins
6. The Abusive Man in Everyday Life
7. Abusive Men and Sex
8. Abusive Men and Addiction
9. The Abusive Man and Breaking Up
Part III: The Abusive Man in the World
10. Abusive Men as Parents
11. Abusive Men and Their Allies
12. The Abusive Man and the Legal System
Part IV: Changing the Abusive Man
13. The Making of an Abusive Man
14. The Process of Change
15. Creating an Abuse-Free World
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