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The Average American Male: A Novelby Chad Kultgen
Synopses & Reviews
The accepted image of the Average American man as created by Oprah, Dr. Phil, network sitcoms, and a slew of other mass media outlets is one of an oafish retard happy to swallow down gallons of his significant other's crap in the hopes of being allowed to have sex with her once a week or at least watch some football.
The unnamed narrator of Average American Male is in his late twenties, has an unimportant job, plays video games, and hangs out with his friends and his girlfriend. But that's not all. He unabashedly reveals every thought that goes through his head, from his sexual fantasies involving his annoying girlfriend and other women he encounters, his masturbation sessions while watching porn, and his disgust with his annoying girlfriend and a majority of the people he comes across.
In the course of this hilariously honest book, our narrator suffers through a relationship with his fat–assed girlfriend until he finds the perfect girl. But when he moves into the new relationship, he slowly learns that all women are pretty much the same, that man's true desires will never be fulfilled, and the decision between living life alone or biting the marriage bullet must be made.
"The nameless narrator of this dismal debut is a cynical 20-something living an empty, oversexed existence in L.A. He gets laid more often than he masturbates, plays video games, goes to the gym, sizes up every bitch in sight and, understandably, hates Casey, his vapid wannabe-actress girlfriend who tricks him into agreeing to marry her. He is not happy about this. Adding to his reluctance is his burgeoning 'relationship' with hottie Alyna, a UCLA student who — just as Casey is an exaggerated caricature of What Men Don't Want — is the Dream Girl who likes video games and porn-style sex. (Also, Casey has a 'fat ass' whereas Alyna has a 'perfect ass.') When he dumps Casey for Alyna, miserable Casey declares she's pregnant, a suspicious claim that nonetheless makes Alyna bolt. A pedestrian confrontation gets Casey out of the narrator's hair and Alyna back into his bed, but now that he's got the dream girl, he has an epiphany: 'every bitch I ever fuck will ultimately become any other bitch I've ever fucked.' Despite the book's purported 'brutal honesty,' the premise is essentially: guys like sex and dislike cuddling." Publishers Weekly (Copyright Reed Business Information, Inc.)
"The plot is, to be charitable, episodic....[The narrator's] narcissism is unbounded....The Main Event of Portnoy's Complaint, without the wit." Kirkus Reviews
"The most brilliant author of the 21st century. But enough about me, buy Chad's book. It's a blueprint of how the mind — and penis — of a typical American male works." Maddox, New York Times bestselling author of The Alphabet of Manliness
"It's so primal, so dangerous, it might be the most ingenious book I've ever read." Josh Kilmer-Purcell, New York Times bestselling author of I Am Not Myself These Days
"An appalling book we couldn't put down." Penthouse
"[A] brilliant send-up of the way...the male point of view has been misrepresented by militant feminists." Toby Young, New York Times bestselling author of How to Lose Friends and Alienate People
"[B]uy Chad's book. It's a blueprint of how the mind — and penis — of a typical American male works." The Horn Book
A debut novel that is sure to be one of the most controversial books of the year — a brutally honest and completely hilarious look at male inner life and sexual fantasies.
Are you ready to meet the average American male?
About the Author
Chad Kultgen graduated from the USC School of Cinematic Arts. His novels include The Average American Male; The Lie; Men, Women & Children; and The Average American Marriage. He lives in California.
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