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How to Archer: The Ultimate Guide to Espionage and Style and Women and Also Cocktails Ever Writtenby Sterling Archer
Synopses & Reviews
Hi. I see youre reading the back of my book. This tells me that you either:
A) are hoping to find a brief summary of what to expect from a how-to book by Sterling Archer, the worlds greatest secret agent, or B) dont know how books work.
If your answer was “A,” your best bet is probably the table of contents, which is where youll find the “contents” of this book listed in a convenient, easy-to-read “table” format. So maybe go check that out for a minute and then come back here. Ill wait. . . .
Pretty cool, right? What other book will teach you how to dress properly and how to drive an elephant? How to field strip an AK-47 and how to haggle with a Thai prostitute—in her native tongue? How to pilot an airboat and how to make about a million delicious cocktails, including a Molotov one? How to kill a guy and how to prepare a fabulous brunch? Plus how to do tons of other stuff that I forgot, but that is nonetheless probably in this book (which, to be honest, I really only kinda skimmed).
So if you want to learn more about how to be more—or at all—like Sterling Archer, the worlds greatest secret agent, quit smearing your greasy fingerprints all over this book and buy it. For one thing, I really need the royalties. For another thing, the last time I checked, this wasnt a damn library.
(Note: If your answer was “B,” this probably isnt the book you want to start with.)
Add more awesomeness to your life. Slink into 2015 with the incredibly vain master spy Sterling Archer and his double-crossing cohorts from ISIS. Based on FX Network's popular animated comedy, this top-selling 16-month calendar highlights each of the main characters and their favorite pastime: using covert operations and global crises as an excuse to undermine, sabotage, and betray each other for personal gain.
Lying is like 95% of what I do. But believe me: in this book, Ill let you know exactly how to become a master spy just like me. Obviously, you wont be as good at it as I am, but thats because youre you, and Im Sterling Archer.
I know, I know, it sucks not being me.
But dont beat yourself up about it, because Im going to show you all the good stuff—what to wear; what to drink; how to seduce women (and, when necessary, men); how to beat up men (and, when necessary, women); how to tell the difference between call girls and hookers (hint: when theyre dead, theyre just hookers) and everything about weapons, secret devices, lying ex-girlfriends, and turtlenecks. In a word? How to Archer.
About the Author
Sterling Archer is the worlds greatest secret agent and nowalso probably a bestselling author. A world-class cocksmanand former all-conference preparatory school lacrosse player,he divides his time among New York City, Monte Carlo, theOrient, several of the classier islands of the Caribbean, andGstaad. This is his first book.
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