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Vampedby David Sosnowski
Synopses & Reviews
So this vampire walks into a bar...
Yes, it sounds like the beginning of a bad joke, but it's just another night in the never-ending life of Marty Kowalski. With his trademark slogan — "There's a sucker born every minute" — this blood-drinking bachelor has managed to talk half the mortal world into joining the graveyard shift.
Now vampires outnumber humans, and Marty is so bored he could die — again. With modern conveniences like synthetic blood and Mr. Plasma machines, the thrill of the hunt is gone. Especially for Marty, who's starting to wonder if he should just settle down, maybe start a family. Hey, it could happen. But is this confirmed nightcrawler fully prepared to adopt — and raise — a human of his own?
"Set in an alternate world where vampires are in charge and humans nearly extinct, Sosnowski's (Rapture) mildly diverting novel will appeal more to mainstream readers than horror aficionados. Undead Martin Kowalski, killing time at strip clubs and surviving, like all vampires, off blood derived from stem cells, is considering suicide when he encounters a six-year-old human girl, Isuzu Trooper Cassidy. She and her recently killed mother were escapees from a hunting preserve. Unwilling to vamp her (child vampires, aka 'screamers,' tend to be disturbed individuals), Martin opts instead to provide a good home for the child until she attains adulthood. The author offers both distraction and food for thought, bestowing endless tidbits, inventive explanations and intriguing tangents (why vampires love laser tag; what's involved with air travel when it comes to an all-vampire passenger list and crew) as he fleshes out an otherwise simple, straightforward narrative. Most of the work's broader concepts, unfortunately, are in the hidebound, daylight-avoiding tradition. While it's nice to find out fun facts such as when vampire lunchtime takes place (midnight), the plot is pretty unlikely even in context and the characters essentially one-dimensional. The field of vampire fiction is well-trodden ground, and Sosnowski's tracks leave little lasting impression. Agent, Jane Dystel. (Aug. 4)" Publishers Weekly (Copyright 2004 Reed Business Information, Inc.)
"[U]nnervingly funny....The author for the most part adroitly avoids the sentimental landmines inherent in his vampire-as-dad premise....Sardonic and wistful at the same time." Kirkus Reviews
"Full of wit and charm, Sosnowski's fast-paced second novel offers delightfully quirky characters and plenty of hilarious scenes. Narrator Marty's sardonic eye misses nothing. Recommended." Library Journal
"Smart and funny." Hollywood Reporter
"Unexpected and delightful." U.S. News & World Report
"Sosnowski's easy mixture of warmth and humor makes for a winning, original tale about love in the unlikeliest of worlds." Booklist
"[C]harmingly eccentric....Vamped will definitely appeal to readers of Sosnowski's first novel, Rapture, which dealt imaginatively with that other tribe of immortals, angels." Detroit Free Press
"Gleefully wicked...a giddy page-turner." Time Out New York
"This darkly comic tale ventures precariously close to schmaltz (at one point, Kowalski refers to 'the guppy of my heart'), but provides intriguingly offbeat insights into the world of a vamp dad and his mortal daughter..." Entertainment Weekly
"Vamped is fantastic, full of humorous and touching moments....A sweet story you can really sink your teeth into." Fangoria (Book of the Month pick)
"With wry wit and deft turns of phrase, David Sosnowski has penned a darkly humorous tale of the struggle between two of literature's most horrifying creatures: a vampire and a little girl. Vamped is a fresh breeze on a genre that can all too often be as stale as a dusty crypt. A fun read." Christopher Moore, author of Bloodsucking Fiends: A Love Story
"Believe me when I say that Vamped is a very special, fun, and oh so dangerous experience. Go ahead, open the book, I dare you." Whitley Strieber, author of The Hunger
"Put Anne Rice into a Mel Brooks blender, and you'd get Marty Kowalski, a Polish vampire born in Hamtramck, Michigan. Vamped is staggeringly imaginative, laugh-out-loud funny, and surprisingly touching by turns — a sly, subversive joyride through a twisted American landscape." Mary Doria Russell, author of The Sparrow and Children of God
A hot beach read, Sosnowski's Vamped is the story of a very different world — one where vampires rule and humans are the near-extinct minority.
So this vampire walks into a bar...Yes, it sounds like the beginning of a bad joke, but it's just another night in the never-ending life of Marty Kowalski. With his trademark slogan — "There's a sucker born every minute" — this blood-drinking bachelor has managed to talk half the mortal world into joining the graveyard shift. Now vampires outnumber humans, and Marty is so bored he could die — again. With modern conveniences like synthetic blood and Mr. Plasma machines, the thrill of the hunt is gone. Especially for Marty, who's starting to wonder if he should just settle down, maybe start a family. Hey, it could happen. But is this confirmed nightcrawler fully prepared to adopt — and raise — a human of his own?
About the Author
David Sosnowski is the author of the novel Rapture and winner of the Thomas Wolfe Fiction Prize. He grew up in Detroit, Michigan, and has worked as a university writing instructor and a gag writer. His fiction has appeared in numerous magazines, including Passages North, River City, and Alaska Quarterly Review. Vamped is his second novel.
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