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The Last Testament: A Memoirby God
Synopses & Reviews
Over the course of his long and distinguished career, god has literally seen it all. And not just seen. In fact, the multi-talented deity has played a pivotal role in many major events, including the Creation of the universe, the entirety of world history, the life of every human being who has ever lived, and the successful transitioning of American Idol into the post-Simon Cowell era.
Now, as the earth he has godded so magnificently draws to a Mayan-induced close, God breaks his 1,400-year literary silence with his final masterpiece, The Last Testament.
As dictated to his mortal amanuensis, 11-time Emmy Award-winning comedy writer David Javerbaum, God looks back with unprecedented candor on his time in the public sector. He takes us behind the scenes of Genesis, setting the record (un)straight on the real first couple, Adam and Steve, and challenging long-held notions about the viability of containing a phylogenetically complete double bestiary within a 450,000-cubic-cubit watercraft. For the first time, he breaks his silence on Jesus Christ, shedding light on a father-son relationship as heartwarming as Will and Jaden Smith's. And he reveals his true feelings about his third great faith, Islam, WHICH ARE NOTHING BUT POSITIVE AND RESPECTFUL.
But The Last Testament doesn't just look back. It also offers God's perspectives on the perennial quagmires of love, marriage, and smiting. And he takes an 27.99 unfiltered look at contemporary society, addressing such hot-button topics as:
- Why he loves America
- What he listens for in a good prayer
- Which sports teams he really roots for
- Which celebrities are totally gay
Sometimes preachy, sometimes holier-than-thou, but always lively, The Last Testament is a tale of courage, adversity, and triumph. It's the ultimate celebrity autobiography, sure to appeal to not only hardcore God fans and worshipers, but to anyone who's ever had total omnipotence. If you place complete faith in the literal truth of one book written by God, make it The Last Testament.
Shares humorous observations, from God's perspective, on fatherhood while catapulting the gospels into modernity, covering everything from Adam and "Steve" and prayer in school to evolution and which Super Bowl teams to support.
In this ultimate celebrity autobiography, bestselling author God will telleth-all for the first time, going behind-the-chapters of the Old Testament, offering frank and hilarious insights about fatherhood and bringing the gospels into modernity with a New New Testament.
From the creation of the universe to jeggings, the Lord Almighty has been a pivotal player in nearly all the major decisions of the past twenty epochs. Now, for the first time since He wrote whichever holy book you happen to believe in, God offers startling dish about all aspects of the universe and creatures therein, starting with Adam and Steve (you read right) and ending with Snooki. He will also address hot-button topics like prayer in school and evolution; put to rest long-standing disputes concerning which athletes and teams He actually supports; and offer His inside picks for the next ninety-three Super Bowls. The Last Testament is sure to appeal to a broad base of readers, from the most ardent apocalyptist to the most blasphemous Darwinian.
God on The 10 Commandments:
Ah, the Ten Commandments.
I hate the Ten Commandments in exactly the same way as Don McLean hates American Pie.
For when I wrote those words, they meant something very personal to Me; they expressed My worldview; I put My heart and soul into them; and I issued them forth as any writer does, hoping they would find their audience.
Never did I suspect how popular the work would prove; never did I imagine it would remain My best-known selection; the one people still cite, and debate, and quote from start to finish, all these years later.
I suppose I should be glad for it; glad that humanity has taken it to heart, and extracted so much meaning from it, and embraced its simple AAAAAAAAAA structure.
But I have grown weary of it defining Me; of being regarded as a one-list wonder; of remaining locked forever in the public consciousness, as that deity who wrote 'The Ten Commandments.'On sale: November 8, 2011
About the Author
andlt;bandgt;God andlt;/bandgt;has been grabbing headlines ever since first creating the universe. Indeed, the multi-talented deity has been involved in the development of every single thing that has ever happened, including the Crusades, plate tectonics, and andlt;iandgt;Seinfeldandlt;/iandgt;. His previous serious works as an author, The Old Testament, The New Testament, and The Koran, have sold an impressive 5 billion copies, with the first two in particular coming to be collectively regarded as something of a bible of their field. andlt;bandgt;David Javerbaumandlt;/bandgt; is a former head writer and executive producer of andlt;iandgt;The Daily Show with Jon Stewartandlt;/iandgt;. He is the coauthor of that showand#8217;s bestsellers, andlt;iandgt;America: The Bookandlt;/iandgt; and andlt;iandgt;Earth: The Bookandlt;/iandgt;, and author of the pregnancy parody andlt;iandgt;What to Expect When Youand#8217;re Expectedandlt;/iandgt;.
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