I Feel Bad About My Neck

With her disarming, intimate, completely accessible voice, and dry sense of humor, Nora Ephron shares with us her ups and downs in I Feel Bad About My Neck, a candid, hilarious look at women who are getting older and dealing with the tribulations of maintenance, menopause, empty nests, and life itself.

The woman who brought us When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, You've Got Mail, and Bewitched, and the author of best sellers Heartburn, Scribble Scribble, and Crazy Salad, discusses everything — from how much she hates her purse to how much time she spends attempting to stop the clock: the hair dye, the treadmill, the lotions and creams that promise to slow the aging process but never do. Oh, and she can't stand the way her neck looks. But her dermatologist tells her there's no quick fix for that.

Ephron chronicles her life as an obsessed cook, passionate city dweller, and hapless parent. She recounts her anything-but-glamorous days as a White House intern during the JFK years ("I am probably the only young woman who ever worked in the Kennedy White House that the President did not make a pass at.") and shares how she fell in and out of love with Bill Clinton — from a distance, of course. But mostly she speaks frankly and uproariously about life as a woman of a certain age.

Utterly courageous, wickedly funny, and unexpectedly moving in its truth telling, I Feel Bad About My Neck is a book of wisdom, advice, and laugh-out-loud moments, a scrumptious, irresistible treat.

A new collection of witty essays by the author of Wallflower at the Orgy offers a hilarious look at the ups and downs of being a woman of a certain age, discussing the tribulations of maintenance and trying to stop the clock, menopause, empty nests, her experiences of being a White House intern during the JFK years, and more. 60,000 first printing.

What I Wish I'd Known

People have only one way to be.

Buy, don’t rent.

Never marry a man you wouldn’t want to be divorced

from.

Don't cover a couch with anything that isn’t more or

less beige.

Don’t buy anything that is 100 percent wool even if it

seems to be very soft and not particularly itchy when

you try it on in the store.

You can't be friends with people who call after 11 p.m.

Block everyone on your instant mail.

The world's greatest babysitter burns out after two and

a half years.

You never know.

The last four years of psychoanalysis are a waste of

money.

The plane is not going to crash.

Anything you think is wrong with your body at the age

of thirty-five you will be nostalgic for at the age of forty-

five.

At the age of fifty-five you will get a saggy roll just

above your waist even if you are painfully thin.

This saggy roll just above your waist will be especially

visible from the back and will force you to reevaluate

half the clothes in your closet, especially the white

shirts.

Write everything down.

Keep a journal.

Take more pictures.

The empty nest is underrated.

You can order more than one dessert.

You can't own too many black turtleneck sweaters.

If the shoe doesn’t fit in the shoe store, it’s never going

to fit.

When your children are teenagers, it's important to have

a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

Back up your files.

Overinsure everything.

Whenever someone says the words Our friendship is

more important than this, watch out, because it almost

never is.

There's no point in making piecrust from scratch.

The reason you're waking up in the middle of the night

is the second glass of wine.

The minute you decide to get divorced, go see a lawyer

and file the papers.

Overtip.

Never let them know.

If only one third of your clothes are mistakes, you're

ahead of the game.

If friends ask you to be their child's guardian in case

they die in a plane crash, you can say no.

There are no secrets.

From the Hardcover edition.

Nora Ephron is also the author of Wallflower at the Orgy.She received Academy Award nominations for Best Original Screenplay for When Harry Met Sally, Silkwood, and Sleepless in Seattle, which she also directed.Her other credits include the film Michael and the play Imaginary Friends.She lives in New York City with her husband, writer Nicholas Pileggi.

I feel bad about my neck — I hate my purse — Serial monogamy : a memoir — On maintenance — Blind as a bat — Parenting in three stages — Moving on — Me and JFK : now it can be told — Me and Bill : the end of love — Where I live — The story of my life in 3,500 words or less — The lost strudel or Le strudel perdu — On rapture — What I wish I'd known — Considering the alternative.