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If Democrats Had Any Brains, They'd Be Republicansby Ann Coulter
Synopses & Reviews
“Uttering lines that send liberals into paroxysms of rage, otherwise known as ‘citing facts,’ is the spice of life. When I see the hot spittle flying from their mouths and the veins bulging and pulsing above their eyes, well, that’s when I feel truly alive.”
So begins If Democrats Had Any Brains, They’d Be Republicans, Ann Coulter’s funniest, most devastating, and, yes, most outrageous book to date.
Coulter has become the brightest star in the conservative firmament thanks to her razor-sharp reasoning and biting wit. Of course, practically any time she opens her mouth, liberal elites denounce Ann, insisting that “She’s gone too far!” and hopefully predicting that this time it will bring a crashing end to her career.
Now you can read all the quotes that have so outraged her enemies and so delighted her legions of fans. More than just the definitive collection of Coulterisms, If Democrats Had Any Brains, They’d Be Republicans includes dozens of brand-new commentaries written by Coulter and hundreds of never-before-published quotations. This is Ann at her best, covering every topic from A to Z. Here you’ll read Coulter’s take on:
• Her politics: “As far as I’m concerned, I’m a middle-of-the-road moderate and the rest of you are crazy.”
• Hillary Clinton: “Hillary wants to be the first woman president, which would also make her the first woman in a Clinton administration to sit behind the desk in the Oval Office instead of under it.”
• The environment: “God gave us the earth. We have dominion over the plants, the animals, the trees. God said, ‘Earth is yours. Take it. Rape it. It’s yours.’”
• Religion: “It’s become increasingly difficult to distinguish the pronouncements of the Episcopal Church from the latest Madonna video.”
• Global warming: “The temperature of the planet has increased about one degree Fahrenheit in the last century. So imagine a summer afternoon when it’s 63 degrees and the next thing you know it’s . . . 64 degrees. Ahhhh!!!! Run for your lives, everybody! Women and children first!”
• Gun control: “Mass murderers apparently can’t read, since they are constantly shooting up ‘gun-free zones.’”
• Bill Clinton: “Bill Clinton’s library is the first one to ever feature an Adults Only section.”
• Illegal aliens: “I am the illegal alien of commentary. I will do the jokes that no one else will do.”
If Democrats Had Any Brains, They’d Be Republicans is a must-have for anyone who loves (or loves to hate) Ann Coulter.
A provocative compilation of hundreds of quotations by the controversial conservative spokesperson offers never-before-published witticisms, insights, and observations on Democrats, dating, environmentalism, religion, evolution, Reagan, terrorism, television, and hundreds of other topics, from her interviews, speeches, and media appearances. 600,000 first printing.
About the Author
ANN COULTER is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Godless, How to Talk to a Liberal (If You Must), Treason, Slander, and High Crimes and Misdemeanors. She is the legal correspondent for Human Events and a syndicated columnist for Universal Press Syndicate. You can read her weekly column on her website, www.anncoulter.com.
Table of Contents
Introduction : liberals and the woman who hates them — Airport security : make imams take buses — Baby-killing: abort liberals, not children — Blacks : the only thing standing between the Democrat Party and oblivion — George W. Bush : the guy I'd most like to have a nonalcoholic beer with — Christians : must reproduce more — Bill Clinton : he left a mark on history that may never come out — Hillary Clinton : the smartest woman in the world! — Colleges : the English translation of "madrassa" — Communism : a new fragrance by Hillary Clinton — Ann Coulter : my quotes about me! — Crime and punishment : preferably a two-step process — Dear Ann : free advice worth every penny — Democrat ideas (see also: Marx, Lenin) — Democrats' virtues : points of light in a sea of darkness — Elections : it only encourages them — Environmentalism : Adolf Hilter was the first environmentalist — Evolution, alchemy, and other "settled" scientific theories — Foreigners, or the "non-soap oriented" — Gays : no gay left behind! — Girls : chicks hate it when you call them "girls" — Guantanamo : room service, I'd like seventy-two virgins, please — Guns : the constitutional right you can carry in your purse — Hollywood : they ought to be committed--oops, they already are! — Immigration : this is ours, that is yours-- say, do you do windows? — Iraq : a new reality show — Teddy Kennedy : apparently fat, drunk, and stupid is a way to go through life — John Kerry : "Who among us does not love NASCAR?" — The language police : can't we have more real police? — Liberal "argument" : hissing, scratching, and hair pulling — "Liberal patriotism" and other oxymorons — Liberal religion : American idolatry — Liberals in alphabetical order, or why I sometimes waver on abortion — Liberal tactics : distortion, dissembling, deception-- and the rest is just run-of-the-mill treason — McCarthyism : calling communist "communists" — The military--their pet peeve : keeping George Clooney safe — Morals : get Chuck Schumer over here, I don't want to have to explain this twice! — Muslims : Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and a moderate Muslim walk into a bar — The New York times : don't look now, but the old gray lady is on a respirator — Old media : imagine an open sewer with coupons, want ads, and your horoscope — Ronald Reagan, or why I sometimes waver on human cloning — Republicans : aren't they magnificent? — Scandals : there's a new museum dedicated to them in Little Rock, Arkansas — Sex : "virile pacifist" is an oxymoron — Supreme Court : I haven't been officially approached as yet, but thanks for asking — Taxes : how about amnesty for "the wealthy"? — The war on terrorism : peacenik pacifists to the rescue!
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