Wow, why didn't I ever know about this book? You don't hear much about it- I stumbled upon it browsing around one day. For people wondering if they should buy this book, get it if:
-you're not turned off by a Christian writing approach
-you feel like there's a problem because you're trying to be a good person all the time by always saying "yes"
In a nutshell, this book is for people who don't know how to set boundaries for themselves. In other words, they're always saying "yes" to things and taking responsibility for things- even when it's not their job.
And boundary lines of your responsibilities need to be present in more areas of your life than you might realize, such as...
The book covers boundary conflicts in each of these areas leaving no stone unturned. Therefore, its no big deal if you have only one or two problem areas- just go to those sections.
This book will help you realize what a boundary is, why it's okay to have them and just how to develop them. So if anything in this review sounds like if might apply to you- don't hesitate to check out the book. Other neat self-help books I liked include "Finding Happiness in a Frustrating World".
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alison h, November 10, 2008 (view all comments by alison h)
This book was a revelation to me when I first read it 8 years ago. Today it may feel a little outdated
(published in 1992), but I am still ordering copies for friends who struggle like I did with saying No. The authors give biblical examples to unseat the false "Christian" idea that being nice means doing everything everybody else wants you to do. Through this book I learned that being free to say No is the only way to be able to give a true and loving Yes.
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Boundaries: When to Say Yes, When to Say No, to Take Control of Your Life
0 stars -
Zondervan Publishing Company -
@lt;DIV@gt;Having clear boundaries is essential to a healthy, balanced lifestyle. A boundary is a personal property line that marks those things for which we are responsible. In other words, boundaries define who we are and who we are not. Boundaries impact all areas of our lives: Physical boundaries help us determine who may touch us and under what circumstances — Mental boundaries give us the freedom to have our own thoughts and opinions — Emotional boundaries help us to deal with our own emotions and disengage from the harmful, manipulative emotions of others — Spiritual boundaries help us to distinguish God's will from our own and give us renewed awe for our Creator — Often, Christians focus so much on being loving and unselfish that they forget their own limits and limitations. When confronted with their lack of boundaries, they ask: - Can I set limits and still be a loving person? - What are legitimate boundaries? - What if someone is upset or hurt by my boundaries? - How do I answer someone who wants my time, love, energy, or money? - Aren't boundaries selfish? - Why do I feel guilty or afraid when I consider setting boundaries? Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend offer biblically-based answers to these and other tough questions, showing us how to set healthy boundaries with our parents, spouses, children, friends, co-workers, and even ourselves.@lt;/div@gt;
This book presents a biblical treatment of boundaries, identifies how boundaries are developed, and how they become injured. It also shows Christian misconceptions of the function and purpose of boundaries, and provides a program for developing and maintaining healthy limits.
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