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A few years ago, Neal Pollack was probably the least likely father you've ever met: a pop-culture-obsessed writer and self-styled party guy known mostly for outrageous literary antics. In typical fashion, he responded to the birth of his son by forming a mediocre rock band and taking it on tour. Now, in Alternadad, he tells the hilarious and poignant story of how he learned to be a father to his son, Elijah, after the failure of his short-lived rock 'n' roll dreams.
Pollack and his wife, Regina, were determined to raise their son without growing up too much themselves. They welcomed the responsibility but were worried that they'd become uptight and out of touch. Through the ups and downs of the first years of their son's life their determination is put to the test, and they find themselves changing in ways they never expected, particularly after Elijah develops a biting problem in preschool.
Alternadad is a refreshingly honest book about the wonders, terrors, and idiocies of parenting today. From enrolling his son in an absurd corporate gymnastics class to a disastrous visit to a rock festival to uncomfortable encounters with other parents whom he'd ordinarily avoid, Pollack candidly explores the everyday struggles and the long-term compromises that come with parenthood.
Mixing ironic skepticism with an appreciation for the absurdities of everyday life, Alternadad is a portrait of a new version of the American family: responsible if unorthodox parents raising kids who know the difference between the Ramones and the Sex Pistols. Wildly funny, surprising, and often moving, it just might be the parenting bible for a new generation of mothers and fathers.
Review:
"His novel Never Mind the Pollacks, a hilarious treat, used a fictional 'Neal Pollack' to parody the excesses and idiocy of current pop culture. But his self-awareness becomes more self-indulgent (though still witty) in this straightforward memoir of life with his artist wife, the couple's decision a few years ago to have a baby and the attendant strains that his son, Elijah, wreaks on their hipster lifestyle. Pollack details the kind of problems that can be found in almost every memoir on child-rearing, from how to clean up baby poop to figuring out how best to be a 'Dad' while being a friend. But he never really defines what it is that makes his parenting so alternative other than that he wants to be a parent and still get high and stay out late. Nevertheless, Pollack hasn't lost his flair for tongue-in-cheek commentary ('I'd begun exerting cultural control over my son; I was going to shape his mind until he was exactly like me')." Publishers Weekly (Copyright Reed Business Information, Inc.)
Review:
"His novel Never Mind the Pollacks, a hilarious treat, used a fictional 'Neal Pollack' to parody the excesses and idiocy of current pop culture. But his self-awareness becomes more self-indulgent (though still witty) in this straightforward memoir of life with his artist wife, the couple's decision a few years ago to have a baby and the attendant strains that his son, Elijah, wreaks on their hipster lifestyle. Pollack details the kind of problems that can be found in almost every memoir on child-rearing, from how to clean up baby poop to figuring out how best to be a 'Dad' while being a friend. But he never really defines what it is that makes his parenting so alternative other than that he wants to be a parent and still get high and stay out late. Nevertheless, Pollack hasn't lost his flair for tongue-in-cheek commentary ('I'd begun exerting cultural control over my son; I was going to shape his mind until he was exactly like me')." Publishers Weekly (Copyright Reed Business Information, Inc.)
Review:
"I wish I were Neal Pollack's brother. Then I'd have some automatic interest in hearing an exhaustive narrative of how he met his wife. I'd want to know all the quaint and comic details of how the couple tried to raise their toddler son to be as cool as his sometimes-rocker dad. I'm not. I don't. 'Alternadad' is the new memoir in which Pollack, a comic essayist and Olympian... Washington Post Book Review (read the entire Washington Post review) self-promoter, sets out all this domestic incident. It reads like a 288-page Christmas letter, sent to all and sundry by that 'clever' member of the family who took a couple of creative writing classes in college. The book gives us 20 blow-by-blow, date-stamped chapters about the first five years of Pollack's family life: one entire chapter about the baby's foreskin and the extended family's debate about its fate; page after page on house-hunting in Philadelphia and then Austin, on the family's financial woes, on Pollack's weed consumption; detailed accounts of little Elijah's first haircut, his tendency to put things up his nose, his biting habit, his first trip to the movies and the particular brands of juice favored by his day care. As a bald list of incidents, it sounds as though there could be comic potential in all this. Spelled out in agonizing detail in this book, it becomes mind-numbing. By Page 238, when Pollack goes into yet another droll anecdote about his toddler's behavior, which includes such fascinating details as young Elijah kissing his plastic dolphin, peeing on Pollack's foot, eating undefrosted frozen corn, drinking soy milk, sharing an orange with his dad and then the two saying good night to each other precisely eight times, even Pollack's closest sibling would start dreaming of a warm bath and a sharp razor. How's this for a gripping passage, taken verbatim from that episode? 'We sat on the couch and I peeled a tangerine. He lifted his sippy cup to my lips. '"Daddy drink soy milk?" '"No. That's yours." 'He drank. He picked up a tangerine wedge. '"Daddy eat?" 'I looked at the wedge. It was an organic temptress. '"Sure." 'We fed each other tangerine wedges until it was time for bed.' The book's not all this dull. There are moments in Pollack's writing that broke me up, Dave Barry-style, such as when he recalls the end of his first date with his future wife: '"I don't think it's going to work out," she said. 'To recap: On the night I met Regina, I nagged her because she was late to a movie, vomited twice without telling her, and then made out with her for a while, and went on a long, ill-considered rant about how I didn't believe in monogamy. '"Why?" I said.' The book has other passages that made me laugh aloud. Three of them. In almost 300 pages. Of course, Pollack's 'comedy' is supposed to be at the service of a larger idea. 'Alternadad' is supposed to let us in on what it's like to be a father and a hipster, with maybe a few tips on how both states might be managed at once. The problem is that in his book, Pollack comes off about as cool as Laura Bush. 'Alternadad' has got the trappings of cool, laid on thick. It's full of casual-seeming references to pop culture, old and new, meant to guarantee its author's with-it status. There's a passing nod to 'peals of ecstasy of the type not heard since the mid-1970s public appearances of Steven Tyler,' to moving 'like an extra in a George Romero movie.' Witnessing a friend's pregnancy, Pollack specifies that he 'felt a little bit like a member of the third gender in "Stranger in a Strange Land," though I hate it when people use the verb "to grok."' Who doesn't? 'Alternadad' also has the snideness requisite to contemporary hip, as when Pollack goes to a park in Austin — which, by his own account, he moved to with his young family exclusively for its 'groove' — and complains about the other parents: 'They listened to "Fresh Air" and subscribed to The New Yorker. Well, so did I, but unlike me, they actually liked those things.' Of course, Pollack makes noises about knowing that he's really a slacker and a dweeb and hints broadly that his hipster aspirations are ironic, to be taken with a grain of salt. Which, since punk at least, has been a classic strategy for showing off how hip you really are. 'Alternadad' isn't a convincing demonstration of cool. It's a desperate proclamation of it, identical in boastful spirit to when Pollack describes a childhood photo of himself reading a newspaper and has to add, 'Yes, I was reading at four years old.' Five hundred years ago in Italy, Baldassare Castiglione, the true godfather of cool, laid out the idea of 'sprezzatura' — the notion that real coolness needs to be so completely nonchalant that there's no sign its owner even knows he's cool or ever has to work at it. Here's Pollack on his ambitions for his son: 'I silently pledged to myself that my son would not have a generic American childhood. My kid was going to be cool.' Uncool, dude." Reviewed by Blake Gopnik, who is The Washington Post's chief art critic, Washington Post Book World (Copyright 2006 Washington Post Book World Service/Washington Post Writers Group)
(hide most of this review)
Review:
"The hilarious and emotional all-family brouhaha that erupts over the topic of circumcision will resonate with many, as will Pollack's description of the conflicted feelings all parents have at one time or another." New York Times
Review:
"Alternadad gives comfort, with a bonus of lots of laughs, to every parent who is just doing the best he can." Cleveland Plain Dealer
Review:
"Alternadad is peppered with the scary-funny one-liners we've come to expect from the intriguing American crank Neal Pollack. But it's also a surprisingly romantic tale of love and hope and even civic-minded warmth, set amidst the dingier blocks of Chicago and Austin and the trash-can fires of Philadelphia." Sarah Vowell, author of Assassination Vacation
Review:
"Elijah is now four, Dad is 36 and they are both growing up nicely. God job, Neal! Someday, Elijah will especially enjoy this history, and meanwhile, we can look forward to his Bar Mitzvah. Foolproof material, illustrated with snapshots proving Elijah's cuteness." Kirkus Reviews
Synopsis:
Mixing ironic skepticism with an appreciation for the absurdities of everyday life, Pollack offers a hilarious true story of two people trying to raise a child without growing up themselves. "Alternadad" is a portrait of a new version of the American family: responsible if unorthodox parents raising kids who know the difference between the Ramones and the Sex Pistols.
Neal Pollack is the author of several acclaimed books of satirical fiction, including The Neal Pollack Anthology of American Literature and the novel Never Mind the Pollacks. A contributor to many magazines, newspapers, and Web sites, he also keeps a semidaily blog at www.nealpollack.com. He lives in Los Angeles with his family.
Dadasaurus, January 30, 2007 (view all comments by Dadasaurus)
I forgot to add that Pollack takes cheap shots in the book at people who are different. It's really foul that someone who pretends to be hip and bohemian is actually so judgmental and intolerant.
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Dadasaurus, January 30, 2007 (view all comments by Dadasaurus)
This book is dreck and dross. I can't believe that people like this have kids. I read this because a friend told me that Pollack seemed cool. I don't know if I'll be accepting those suggestions anymore. This guy is a navel-gazing attention ho who's got nothing to say. Profoundly disappointing.
Was this comment helpful? | Yes | No (8 of 14 readers found this comment helpful)
j.e.m., January 30, 2007 (view all comments by j.e.m.)
As I languish in my own hip and fertile child-bearing years, curiosity sneaks up on me. What is this parenting situation that more and more of my friends are entering? Pollack's tale of his journey from urban bohemian to devoted father explains just that.
What I'd previously read of Pollock's work didn't prepare me for the sweet honesty and overall frankness of Alternadad. The quite deliberate, and often tongue-in-cheek, "alternative" culture and lifestyle references do nothing but enhance a story told in this era of hyperlinks and information saturation. It's a very up-to-the-minute report on the perception of young parenting, and how this specific generation will build upon what every previous generation has learned. Pollock offers up his own experiences for the common good, but in such an amusing way you can't help but walk away with a different perspective.
Was this comment helpful? | Yes | No (8 of 13 readers found this comment helpful)
"Publishers Weekly Review"
by Publishers Weekly,
"His novel Never Mind the Pollacks, a hilarious treat, used a fictional 'Neal Pollack' to parody the excesses and idiocy of current pop culture. But his self-awareness becomes more self-indulgent (though still witty) in this straightforward memoir of life with his artist wife, the couple's decision a few years ago to have a baby and the attendant strains that his son, Elijah, wreaks on their hipster lifestyle. Pollack details the kind of problems that can be found in almost every memoir on child-rearing, from how to clean up baby poop to figuring out how best to be a 'Dad' while being a friend. But he never really defines what it is that makes his parenting so alternative other than that he wants to be a parent and still get high and stay out late. Nevertheless, Pollack hasn't lost his flair for tongue-in-cheek commentary ('I'd begun exerting cultural control over my son; I was going to shape his mind until he was exactly like me')." Publishers Weekly (Copyright Reed Business Information, Inc.)
"Publishers Weekly Review"
by Publishers Weekly,
"His novel Never Mind the Pollacks, a hilarious treat, used a fictional 'Neal Pollack' to parody the excesses and idiocy of current pop culture. But his self-awareness becomes more self-indulgent (though still witty) in this straightforward memoir of life with his artist wife, the couple's decision a few years ago to have a baby and the attendant strains that his son, Elijah, wreaks on their hipster lifestyle. Pollack details the kind of problems that can be found in almost every memoir on child-rearing, from how to clean up baby poop to figuring out how best to be a 'Dad' while being a friend. But he never really defines what it is that makes his parenting so alternative other than that he wants to be a parent and still get high and stay out late. Nevertheless, Pollack hasn't lost his flair for tongue-in-cheek commentary ('I'd begun exerting cultural control over my son; I was going to shape his mind until he was exactly like me')." Publishers Weekly (Copyright Reed Business Information, Inc.)
"Review"
by New York Times,
"The hilarious and emotional all-family brouhaha that erupts over the topic of circumcision will resonate with many, as will Pollack's description of the conflicted feelings all parents have at one time or another."
"Review"
by Cleveland Plain Dealer,
"Alternadad gives comfort, with a bonus of lots of laughs, to every parent who is just doing the best he can."
"Review"
by Sarah Vowell, author of Assassination Vacation,
"Alternadad is peppered with the scary-funny one-liners we've come to expect from the intriguing American crank Neal Pollack. But it's also a surprisingly romantic tale of love and hope and even civic-minded warmth, set amidst the dingier blocks of Chicago and Austin and the trash-can fires of Philadelphia."
"Review"
by Kirkus Reviews,
"Elijah is now four, Dad is 36 and they are both growing up nicely. God job, Neal! Someday, Elijah will especially enjoy this history, and meanwhile, we can look forward to his Bar Mitzvah. Foolproof material, illustrated with snapshots proving Elijah's cuteness."
"Synopsis"
by Libri,
Mixing ironic skepticism with an appreciation for the absurdities of everyday life, Pollack offers a hilarious true story of two people trying to raise a child without growing up themselves. "Alternadad" is a portrait of a new version of the American family: responsible if unorthodox parents raising kids who know the difference between the Ramones and the Sex Pistols.
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