Growing up in Scotland, Alan Black learned that soccer was no mere game; it was a matter of life or death. In this harshly hilarious tale, Black, a Glasglow transplant living in suburban California, coaches the Dragons, a peewee team that proves an embarrassment to his beloved sport. They're pampered. They're soft. They've been told by their overprotective parents that (gasp ) winning isn't everything. Using drills and bombast, Black attempts to whip the team into shape.

Kick the Balls is a sidesplitting memoir of grass stains and free kicks, a no-holds-barred account of one man's bafflement by an alien culture, and a stinging satire of American parenthood. Alan Black's voice-howling from the sidelines-is that rare thing: a fresh, original, winning comic talent.