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Mission Accomplished! or How We Won the War in Iraq: The Experts Speak

by Christopher Cerf

Mission Accomplished! or How We Won the War in Iraq: The Experts Speak Cover

ISBN13: 9781416569930
ISBN10: 1416569936
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Synopses & Reviews

Publisher Comments:

Mission Accomplished! Or How We Won the War in Iraq is the definitive collection — systematically categorized, indexed, and footnoted for your convenience — of authoritative misinformation, disinformation, misunderstanding, miscalculation, egregious prognostication, boo-boos, and just plain lies, about the Iraq War.

"Never before has such a large and diverse group of experts been so unanimously in favor of a particular national policy as they were in the case of the U.S. invasion of Iraq," note Christopher Cerf and Victor Navasky, who, as co-founders of the Institute of Expertology, the nation's leading purveyor of expertise on expertise, were uniquely qualified to assemble this impressive collection. "In the face of such a consensus, we had no choice but to ask ourselves, 'Could the iron law of expertology — the experts are never right — be wrong?'"

At once an entertainment, a cautionary tale, a critique of mass media, a reference tool, and a postwar manifesto, Mission Accomplished! presents, as no book has before, the collective wisdom of all those who are presumed to know what they talking about on the subject of America's adventure in Iraq. As this hilarious, yet depressing, volume demonstrates, they don't.

From MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

"Major combat operations in Iraq have ended. In the battle of Iraq, the United States and our allies have prevailed."

-- President George W. Bush, May 1, 2003

"[Insurgents] pose no strategic threat to the United States or to the Coalition Forces."

-- L. Paul Bremer III, Administrator of the Coalition Provisional Authority in Iraq, November 17, 2003

"Military action will not last more than a week."

-- Bill O'Reilly, The O'Reilly Factor, January 23, 2003

"I couldn't imagine somebody like Osama bin Laden understanding the joy of Hanukkah."

-- President George W. Bush, at a White House menorah lighting ceremony, December 10, 2001

Review:

"Having amassed an aircraft carrier's worth of lies about the lead-up to the invasion of Iraq, Christopher Cerf and Victor Navasky can now crow Mission Accomplished!. Indeed."-- Vanity Fair

Review:

"All the golden oldies are here, from the title of the book itself to Rumsfeld's "freedom is untidy" to Kenneth Adelman's prediction that the war would be a "walk in the park" to Cheney and McCain's prediction that the Iraqis would greet us as "liberators." Readers may wish to do Sudoku puzzles instead of wallowing in memories of Ari Fleischer and WMDs. But readers who opt for Mission Accomplished may find that it pins them to their, um, seats."-- Salon.com

Review:

"Victor Navasky and Christopher Cerf's shrewd, lucid and tragically funny compilation of 'experts' offering their (erroneous, comically misguided, and even outright false) thoughts on the Iraq war...is sure to become one of the essential reads for those trying to remember how the Iraq fiasco came to be."-Huffington Post

About the Author

Christopher Cerf is the coeditor of The Official Politically Correct Dictionary and Handbook and The Iraq War Reader. He is an executive producer of Between the Lions, the literacy education series his company, Sirius Thinking, Ltd., created for PBS.Victor S. Navasky is the publisher emeritus of The Nation and chairman of The Columbia Journalism Review. He is the author of the National Book Award-winner Naming Names and A Matter of Opinion. In 1984, with Mr. Cerf, he cofounded the Institute of Expertology.Robert Grossman's illustrations have appeared in The New York Times, The Nation, The New Yorker, The New York Observer, Rolling Stone, and many other publications.

Table of Contents

INTRODUCTION

PROLOGUE

PART I: SADDAM HUSSEIN: "A FORCE FOR PEACE IN THE MIDDLE EAST"

PART II: PREMONITIONS OF LIBERATION

VOLUME I: THE GATHERING STORM

WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION: DOES SADDAM REALLY HAVE THEM? (ONLY A FOOL — OR POSSIBLY A FRENCHMAN — COULD CONCLUDE OTHERWISE)

Does Saddam Have Nukes? "We Don't Want the Smoking Gun to be a Mushroom Cloud!"

Aluminum Tubes

"16 Little Words"

Chemical and Biological Weapons

Biological Vans: Cooking Everything but the Books?

Anthrax: "Let's All Take a Deep Breath"

The Loyal Opposition Speaks

THE MISSING LINK

Mohammed Atta's Trip to Prague: An "Undisputed Fact"

AN IMMINENT THREAT?

Postscript: On the Imminency of Nonimminency

UNIMPEACHABLE SOURCES: THE WORLD ACCORDING TO JUDITH MILLER

THE SEARCH FOR A DIPLOMATIC SOLUTION

Inspecting the Inspectors (or The Search for Rosie O'Donnell's Stretch Marks)

Cheese-Eating Surrender Monkeys

War or Peace? "The Decider Has Yet to Decide"

VOLUME II: THEIR FINEST HOUR: AMERICA READIES ITSELF TO FREE THE IRAQI PEOPLE

CAKEWALK!

HOW MANY TROOPS WILL BE NEEDED?

Postscript: What About Casualties?

A BURNING QUESTION: WHAT'S OIL GOT TO DO WITH IT?

HOW MUCH WILL IT COST? A WAR THAT WILL PAY FOR ITSELF!

HOW LONG WILL IT LAST? (OR WHEN DO WE GET TO DINE IN THE GASLIGHT DISTRICT?)

And Wait...There's Even More Good News!

Postscript: "The Rush to Peace"

VOLUME III: THE GRAND ALLIANCE

Part I: The Coalition of the Willing Invades Iraq

THE COALITION OF THE WILLING

"GOD IS GRILLING THEIR STOMACHS IN HELL!"

"THE GREATEST HEROINE OF ALL TIME": SAVING PRIVATE LYNCH

Part II: Mission Accomplished

POSTSCRIPT: AND YOU KNOW WHAT? THINGS COULD HAVE GONE EVEN BETTER!

VOLUME IV: THE HINGE OF FATE

LOOTING: "A NATURAL PROCESS" AND "A RELIEF TO COLLEGE STUDENTS EVERYWHERE"

Postscript: Keeping Our Priorities Straight

RESISTANCE? WHAT RESISTANCE?

WHY BAGHDAD IS JUST LIKE MANHATTAN (OR IS IT CALIFORNIA?)

THE NEXT (OR NEXT TO LAST) WORD ON WMDS

Postscript: So We Didn't Find the WMDs. Big Deal!

A "BUNCH OF BULL": THE "IRRELEVANT" DEBATE OVER THE "16 LITTLE WORDS"

Revisionist History

THE VALERIE PLAME AFFAIR

TORTURE: THE NEW PARADIGM

Optional Reading: The Geneva Convention

Welcome to Guantánamo!

Postscript: Should Guantánamo Prison Be Shut Down?

The Case for Torture

Postscript: The President Calls the World to Action

The Comforts of Abu Ghraib

ALL HAIL THE VICEROY: JERRY BREMER AND THE CPA

Reconstruction, American-Style

Postscript: Money Players

Perspectives on Chaos

COMING REAL SOON NOW: THE NEW, DE-BA'ATHIFIED IRAQI SECURITY FORCES!

CONTRACTORS: "SKYDIVERS AND MOTORCYCLISTS"

"An Uptick in Local Engagements"

The Ambush in Fallujah: What Really Happened?

"Humane Democracy" in Nisour Square

See No Evil, Hear No Evil

Postscript: The Cookie and Buzzy Show

A CIVIL WAR? NOT BLOODY LIKELY!

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED REVISITED

VOLUME V: CLOSING THE RING: THE END GAME?

MEASURING THE IRAQ WAR IN "FRIEDMAN UNITS"

TURNING POINTS

VIGILANCE, THE PRICE OF LIBERTY

Some Dare Call It Treason: America's Fifth Column

Fear Itself: The Bush Administration Reassures America

Things We Mustn't Do (So the Terrorists Won't Win)

Postscript: The Hunt for Osama bin Laden

VOLUME VI: TRIUMPH OR TRAGEDY? AMERICA LOOKS BACK AT FIVE YEARS OF CONFLICT

WHY WE FIGHT

PLANTING THE SEEDS OF FREEDOM (THE DEVIL IS IN THE DETAILS)

History's Judgment

"Resolve, Constancy and Unity of Purpose"

PROFILES IN COMPASSIONATE CONSERVATISM

RUMSFELD'S PERFORMANCE: THE DECIDER DECIDES

NOTHING FAILS LIKE SUCCESS!

WHO, ME?

THE NEW CRUSADERS

God Is on Our Side

Postscript: God Is on Their Side, Too

PAX AMERICANA

In Closing: A Message of Unity and Hope from President George W. Bush

EPILOGUE: FINALLY, AN EXPERT WHO WAS RIGHT

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

NOTES

INDEX

THE INSTITUTE OF EXPERTOLOGY

ABOUT THE AUTHORS

SPECIAL BONUS SECTION: A SNEAK PREVIEW OF OUR FORTHCOMING BOOK, THE EXPERTS SPEAK ABOUT IRAN

What Our Readers Are Saying

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Average customer rating based on 1 comment:
Eugene, March 18, 2008 (view all comments by Eugene)
This book is a clever and comprehensive satire of the egregious prognostications made by the U.S. government, military, and media before, during, and after the U.S. invasion of Iraq. It should be mentioned right off the bat that, unlike the hordes of "Bushisms" books and other anti-Bush administration literature, this is not just an irreverent or pithy crack at the neo-conservatives and predominantly right-wing pundits and politicians who supported our invasion and subsequent occupation of Iraq. Many liberal voices, including many writers for the New York Times and other publications, appear here as well. Every person quoted in this book is measured up to the facts on the ground both at home and in Iraq.

Not only is this book often startling and darkly humorous in its revelations, it is also an insightful portrait of the way the Bush administration's policies were fed to and digested by the media. If you like The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, or are a voracious reader of the political blogosphere, this book is an amazing encyclopedia of the lies that were spun (and spun) every six months to keep us at war for the past five years.
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Product Details

ISBN:
9781416569930
Subtitle:
The Experts Speak
Author:
Cerf, Christopher
Illustrator:
Grossman, Robert
Author:
Grossman, Robert
Author:
Cerf, Christopher
Author:
Navasky, Victor S.
Author:
Navasky, Victor
Publisher:
Simon & Schuster
Subject:
General
Subject:
General Political Science
Subject:
Quotations, English
Subject:
Military intelligence
Edition Description:
Trade paper
Publication Date:
March 2008
Binding:
Paperback
Grade Level:
General/trade
Language:
English
Illustrations:
YES
Pages:
273
Dimensions:
9.16x6.10x.74 in. .93 lbs.
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