A powerful and groundbreaking revelation of the secret history of the 1.5 million women who surrendered children for adoption in the several decades before Roe v. Wade.
In this deeply moving work, Ann Fessler brings to light the lives of hundreds of thousands of young single American women forced to give up their newborn children in the years following World War II and before Roe v. Wade. The Girls Who Went Away tells a story not of wild and carefree sexual liberation, but rather of a devastating double standard that has had punishing long-term effects on these women and on the children they gave up for adoption. Based on Fessler's groundbreaking interviews, it brings to brilliant life these women's voices and the spirit of the time, allowing each to share her own experience in gripping and intimate detail. Today, when the future of the Roe decision and women's reproductive rights stand squarely at the front of a divisive national debate, Fessler brings to the fore a long-overlooked history of single women in the fifties, sixties, and early seventies.
In 2002, Fessler, an adoptee herself, traveled the country interviewing women willing to speak publicly about why they relinquished their children. Researching archival records and the political and social climate of the time, she uncovered a story of three decades of women who, under enormous social and family pressure, were coerced or outright forced to give their babies up for adoption. Fessler deftly describes the impossible position in which these women found themselves: as a sexual revolution heated up in the postwar years, birth control was tightly restricted, and abortion proved prohibitively expensive or life endangering. At the same time, a postwar economic boom brought millions of American families into the middle class, exerting its own pressures to conform to a model of family perfection. Caught in the middle, single pregnant women were shunned by family and friends, evicted from schools, sent away to maternity homes to have their children alone, and often treated with cold contempt by doctors, nurses, and clergy.
The majority of the women Fessler interviewed have never spoken of their experiences, and most have been haunted by grief and shame their entire adult lives. A searing and important look into a long-overlooked social history, The Girls Who Went Away is their story.
"Given the queasy ambivalence that is still attached to adoption, statistics on the subject remain notoriously unreliable. Scholars and social workers estimate that between 5 million and 10 million American mothers have relinquished children for adoption. But little hard data exist on individual women, and next to nothing is known about the emotional consequences of their experiences. Shrouded in secrecy,... Washington Post Book Review (read the entire Washington Post review) skewed by locker-room gossip and old wives' tales, the stories of generations of unmarried pregnant girls have gone largely untold. In an admirable effort to remedy this, Ann Fessler, a professor of photography and a specialist in video installation art, interviewed more than a hundred women who volunteered to break their silence and contribute to 'The Girls Who Went Away,' which examines the stories of women who gave up children before Roe v. Wade. While striving for diversity of age, race and social background, Fessler discovered that her sources spoke with one voice about the early trauma that continues, in their telling, to blight their lives, scar their psyches and undermine their marriages and their relationships with their parents. Open the book to any page, and sad refrains repeat themselves with the plangency of a ballad. Barely beyond childhood, hounded by families, clergy and societal strictures, these girls felt they had no choice. Isolated in maternity homes, often given no counseling or blatantly bogus advice, and never offered access to legal alternatives, Fessler's sources uniformly claim that they didn't so much relinquish their babies as have them taken away by adults who had their own religious, social or financial agendas. To have a baby die, they point out, is every woman's nightmare, but to have a baby ripped from your arms and handed over to strangers is equally horrendous. 'You hear about people's lives being touched by adoption,' one woman keens. 'It's no damn touch. I mean, that just drives me nuts. You're smashed by adoption.' It would take a heart of stone not to be moved by the oral histories of these women and by the courage and candor with which they express themselves. Fessler, an adoptee who begins and ends the book with the story of her search for her birth mother, deserves credit for the diligence and tact that must have been key ingredients in her interviews. And she's certainly correct to criticize the double standard that stigmatizes pregnant girls but tends to forgive as youthful oat-sowing the behavior of their impregnators. Yet perhaps for fear of alienating her sources, she seems to avoid hard questions and fails to follow up on explanations that don't hang together. Or maybe her methodology accounts for the dubious aspects of her survey. Rather than a scientific sampling, her interviewees were self-selected, which likely eliminated whole categories of respondents — i.e., those not traumatized, not convinced that adoption is central to their lives and not interested in reuniting with adoptees. Fessler's group contains just one woman who acknowledges she was complicit in sex and in the decision to relinquish her child. By contrast, the others cite ignorance, immaturity and outright date rape as the primary factors in their pregnancies. None of them, all now middle-age, concedes that sexual desire might have played a part in her adolescent behavior. If any of them ever believed that pregnancy might nudge a man toward the altar, they don't admit it here. Nor do they allow that the childhood abuse, parental neglect and deep psychological disorders they describe might have caused the later problems — broken marriages, other illegitimate children — that they blame on losing their first babies. If her pool of respondents lacked insight, the author could have supplied it. A constant theme, which Fessler appears to support without reservation, is that these girls, some barely pubescent, should have been allowed to keep their children. But how would having kids raise kids lead to happier endings? To the contrary, that would be more likely to lead to an oral history of teenage single motherhood — one every bit as tragic as the voices collected in this heartbreaking volume." Reviewed by Michael Mewshaw, whose most recent book is "If You Could See Me Now: A Chronicle of Identity and Adoption", Washington Post Book World (Copyright 2006 Washington Post Book World Service/Washington Post Writers Group)
(hide most of this review)
Review:
"[A]n incredible and deeply moving look at the personal cost suffered by the women who gave up their babies, voluntarily and involuntarily....[H]eartrending..." Booklist (Starred Review)
Review:
"By giving voice to these women, Fessler has enabled adoptees to view the circumstances of their birth with greater understanding. A valuable contribution to the literature on adoption." Kirkus Reviews
Review:
"Fessler successfully intertwines the women's personal stories with descriptive text, placing the accounts in historical context....Thought-provoking and thoroughly researched..." Library Journal
Review:
"Fessler interviewed more than 100 women across the country who surrendered their children, and she gives them ample opportunity to tell their stories in their own words and for the first time, weaving their oral histories together with a perceptive and telling description of the social climate that pressured them so heavily." San Francisco Chronicle
Synopsis:
A powerful and groundbreaking revelation of the astonishing untold history of the million and a half women who surrendered children for adoption in the several decades before Roe v. Wade.
Ann Fessler is professor of photography at Rhode Island School of Design and a specialist in video-installation art. She won a prestigious Radcliffe Fellowship at the Radcliffe Institute for Advanced Study, Harvard University, for 2004, to complete her extensive research for this book. She is also the recipient of grants from the National Endowment for the Arts; the LEF Foundation, Boston; the Rhode Island Foundation; the Rhode Island Council for the Humanities; Art Matters, New York; and the Maryland State Arts Council. An adoptee herself, she begins and ends the book with the story of her own successful quest to find her birth mother.
monamatic, January 23, 2008 (view all comments by monamatic)
I haven't yet read the book but I will because the son I gave up for adoption is. I was one of those 'girls' whose families gave what they thought was support. I know my son now, thank God. Hopefully reading this book will give me insight into the questions he still has and how to answer them, openly and honestly. Thank you for giving thousands of women a chance to find our own answers to why we made the decisions and remind us that we have choices as to how to deal with them now.
Was this comment helpful? | Yes | No (1 of 3 readers found this comment helpful)
KraftyKRae, July 18, 2007 (view all comments by KraftyKRae)
An article about the book "The Girls Who Went Away" caught my eye in our local newspaper The Ledger in Lakeland, Florida. Back in 1986 my son got his high school girlfriend (a foster child) pregnant. They planned to have a secret abortion but I convinced them to face the music. My firstborn grandson was born in Miami and given up for adoption. For all these years I have been carrying around all the information on his birth in hopes that someday I can find him. A part of me is missing. Is there a book for grandparents?
Was this comment helpful? | Yes | No (2 of 5 readers found this comment helpful)
joannej, December 26, 2006 (view all comments by joannej)
An a member of this "secret group", I have not had a chance to read her book. But I will as soon as I can. I may even recognize some names. I did have a reunion after 27 years, initiated by my daughter I relinquished. She was very curious where she came from, medical history and found out, as others did, that information was not true that was presented to both sides. I have been able to discuss this more openly with others and one person said: oh, I always wanted to know an unwed mother! I was shocked because she was totally out of touch with the pain I endured and its life-changing, permanent impact on my life. I was just a "novelty" to her.
Was this comment helpful? | Yes | No (3 of 5 readers found this comment helpful)
The Girls Who Went Away: The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v. Wade
Used Hardcover
Ann Fessler
"Review"
by Booklist (Starred Review),
"[A]n incredible and deeply moving look at the personal cost suffered by the women who gave up their babies, voluntarily and involuntarily....[H]eartrending..."
"Review"
by Kirkus Reviews,
"By giving voice to these women, Fessler has enabled adoptees to view the circumstances of their birth with greater understanding. A valuable contribution to the literature on adoption."
"Review"
by Library Journal,
"Fessler successfully intertwines the women's personal stories with descriptive text, placing the accounts in historical context....Thought-provoking and thoroughly researched..."
"Review"
by San Francisco Chronicle,
"Fessler interviewed more than 100 women across the country who surrendered their children, and she gives them ample opportunity to tell their stories in their own words and for the first time, weaving their oral histories together with a perceptive and telling description of the social climate that pressured them so heavily."
"Synopsis"
by chrisb@powells.com,
A powerful and groundbreaking revelation of the astonishing untold history of the million and a half women who surrendered children for adoption in the several decades before Roe v. Wade.
Powell's City of Books is an independent bookstore in Portland, Oregon, that fills a whole city block with more than a million new, used, and out of print books. Shop those shelves — plus literally millions more books, DVDs, and eBooks — here at Powells.com.