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Getting More: How to Negotiate to Achieve Your Goals in the Real Worldby Stuart Diamond
Synopses & Reviews
Negotiation is part of every human encounter, and most of us do it badly. Whether dealing with family, a business or diplomacy, people often fail to meet their goals in every country and context. They focus onpower and win-win instead of relationships and perceptions. They don't find enough things to trade. They think others should be rational when they should be dealing with emotions. They getdistracted from their goals.
In this revolutionary book, leading negotiation practitioner and professor Stuart Diamond draws on the research and practice of 30,000 people he has taught andadvised in 45 countries over two decades to outline specific, practical and better ways to deal with others. They range from country and corporate leaders to administrative assistants, lawyers, housewives, students andlaborers. To this he adds his 40-year experience as an executive, Harvard-trained attorney and Pulitzer Prize winning journalist.
Getting More is based on ProfessorDiamond's award-winning negotiations course at The Wharton Business School, where it has been the most sought-after course by students for 13 years. It contains a powerful toolkit that can be used by anyone inany situation: with kids and jobs, travel and shopping, business, politics, relationships, cultures, partners and competitors.
The advice is addressed through theinsightful stories of hundreds of people who have used Diamond's tools with great success. A 20% savings on an item already on sale. An extra $300 million profit in a business. A woman from India getting out ofher own arranged marriage. A 4 year old willingly brushing his teeth and going to bed.
Conventional wisdom is challenged on almost every page. Instead of win-win, itsometimes makes more sense lose today to get more tomorrow. The use of power, Diamond cautions, too often causes retaliation, harms relationships and costs credibility. Walking out is almost never as good asunderstanding the other person's perceptions and fixing the problem. Not everything is about money; intangibles such as valuing others will often get you much more in return. Even the hardest bargainers can betamed by using their own public standards against them.
The key to getting more is finding the right tools for each situation; being more flexible, and better understanding the other party.These strategies are invisible, until you learn them. Once you see them, they will always be there to help you get more.
From the Hardcover edition.
A former Pulitzer Prize-winning reporter for the New York Times, Diamond (Law/Univ. of Pennsylvania) debuts with a superb how-to based on his immensely popular course on negotiation. The author prepares for any negotiation by asking himself, “What are my goals? Who are ‘they’? What will it take to persuade them?” Depending on the answers, he then draws selectively on bargaining tools and strategies described in this anecdote-rich book. Others in his field assume that most people in a negotiation are rational. Not so, says Diamond. People in the real world—whether friends, store clerks or CEOs—tend to be emotional and irrational in their interactions. Since the People involved make up 90 percent of a negotiation (substance accounts for only 10 percent), you must negotiate based on your understanding of “the pictures in the head of the other party”—a phrase Diamond frequently uses to underscore that psychology trumps the issues at the bargaining table. Successful negotiators must prepare, learn what makes others tick (through research and small talk), take small steps, communicate clearly, turn problems into opportunities, avoid deceit and embrace differences. Above all, writes the author, they must stay focused on specific goals and connect with the other party. Many of Diamond’s suggestions are counterintuitive…This immensely useful book will have wide appeal and leave many readers anxious to put their new skills to work.
From the Hardcover edition.
World renowned negotiator and Wharton Professor Stuart Diamond believes that the negotiation seems to have succumbed to the dogma of win-win. But win-win--and in fact any rigid stance to negotiation--is flawed. Sometimes, the point is to lose--in order to gain what you want another time. Sometimes it pays to trade favors of unequal value--not everything is about dollars and cents. The point is to define your goals, and meet them--whatever those goals are.
As Diamond makes clear, negotiation is a part of life--it is the basic process of interaction. And most of us are terrible at it. Negotiation experts tell people negotiations should be, or can be, rational. Bunk! People get scared, angry, vengeful, fearful and irrational. That is how real life plays out. You have to be able to deal with the unpredictable.
In a book that shows how negotiation plays out in the real world, Stuart Diamond offers a powerful toolkit on how to get more in any situation. He talks about being incremental instead of going for the fences; about the fact that people are the single most important element in a negotiation. Miscommunication, he says, is the biggest cause of a negotiation breakdown. He suggests a tool that can overcome even the hardest bargainer--using their own standards and policies against them. Diamond talks about intangible elements that can be traded off in a negotiation, how emotions can undermine the quality of any negotiation, and creative ways to break impasses. He looks at how we can negotiate better at work and in our careers, in our relationships with our kids, and in our everyday lives.
Negotiation is part of the fabric of our lives--we don't have the option of sitting on the sidelines, and letting others run roughshod over our careers and our lives. Stuart Diamond shows us how to achieve what we want--how to get more--whether we are negotiating the cost of a new car with a dealership, or negotiating with a troublesome teen over his or her homework.
About the Author
STUART DIAMOND is the foremost negotiator, and teacher on negotiation, in the world. He advises 200 of the Fortune 500 companies and firms in the country, from Microsoft and IBM to Amazon and Sprint. His course on negotiation has been rated the most popular at Wharton for the last ten years. A former associate director of the Harvard Negotiation Project at the Harvard Law School, he is currently president of Global Strategy Group. He holds a JD from Harvard Law School and an MBA from Wharton. In a previous life, Diamond was a Pulitzer Prize-winning reporter for the New York Times, where in the 1980s he wrote over 90 front-page stories. He has appeared on Today and Good Morning America.
Table of Contents
Thinking different — People are (almost) everything — Perception and communication — Hard bargainers and standards — Trading items of unequal value — Emotion — Putting it all together : problem-solving model — Dealing with cultural differences — Getting more at work — Getting more in the marketplace — Relationships — Kids and parents — Travel — Getting more around town — Public issues — How to do it.
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