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Drinking: A Love Story

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Drinking: A Love Story Cover

 

Synopses & Reviews

Publisher Comments:

A love story. Yes: this is a love story.

It's about passion, sensual pleasure, deep pulls, lust, fears, yearning hungers. It's about needs so strong they're crippling. It's about saying good-bye to something you can't fathom living without.

I loved the way drink made me feel, and I loved its special power of deflection, its ability to shift my focus away from my own awareness of self and onto something else, something less painful than my own feelings. I loved the sounds of drink: the slide of a cork as it eased out of a wine bottle, the distinct glug-glug of booze pouring into a glass, the clatter of ice cubes in a tumbler. I loved the rituals, the camaraderie of drinking with others, the warming, melting feelings of ease and courage it gave me.

Our introduction was not dramatic; it wasn't love at first sight, I don't even remember my first taste of alcohol. The relationship developed gradually, over many years, time punctuated by separations and reunions. Anyone who's ever shifted from general affection and enthusiasm for a lover to outright obsession knows what I mean: the relationship is just there, occupying a small corner of your heart, and then you wake up one morning and some indefinable tide has turned forever and you can't go back. You need it; it's a central part of who you are.

I used to drink with a woman named Elaine, a next-door neighbor of mine. I was in my twenties when we met and she was in her late forties, divorced and involved with a married man whom she could not give up. Elaine drank a lot, more than I did, and she drank especially hard when the relationship with the married man got rocky, which was often. She drank beer and vodka, and she'd call me up on bad nights and ask me to come over. The beer made her overweight and the vodka made her sloppy, and she'd sit on her sofa with a bottle and cry, her face stained with tears and mascara. I used to sit there and think, Whoa. I'd sympathize and listen and say all the things girlfriends are supposed to say, but inside I'd be shaking my head, knowing she was a wreck and knowing on some level that the booze made her that way, that the liquor fueled her obsession for the married man, fueled her tears, fueled her hopelessness and inability to change.

But some small part of me (it got larger over the years) was always secretly relieved to see Elaine that way: a messy drunk's an ugly thing, particularly when the messy drunk's a woman, and I could compare myself to her and feel superiority and relief. I wasn't that bad; no way I was that bad.

And I wasn't that bad. I had lots of rules. I never drank in the morning and I never drank at work, and except for an occasional mimosa or Bloody Mary at a weekend brunch, except for a glass of white wine (maybe two) with lunch on days when I didn't have to do too much in the afternoon, except for an occasional zip across the street from work to the Chinese restaurant with a colleague, I always abided by them.

For a long time I didn't even need rules. The drink was there, always just there, the way food's in the refrigerator and ice is in the freezer. In high school the beer just appeared at parties, lugged over in cases by boys in denim jackets and Levi's corduroys. In my parents' house the Scotch and the gin sat in a liquor cabinet, to the left of the fireplace in the living room, and it just emer

Synopsis:

The author provides a candid memoir of her twenty-year love affair with alcohol, explaining how and why she became an alcoholic and her struggle to live without an alcoholic crutch

Synopsis:

Fifteen million Americans a year are plagued with alcoholism. Five million of them are women. Many of them, like Caroline Knapp, started in their early teens and began to use alcohol as "liquid armor," a way to protect themselves against the difficult realities of life. In this extraordinarily candid and revealing memoir, Knapp offers important insights not only about alcoholism, but about life itself and how we learn to cope with it.

About the Author

Caroline Knapp was a contributor at New Woman magazine and a regular columnist at The Boston Phoenix, and her work has appeared in Mademoiselle, The New York Times, and numerous international magazines.She is also the author of Alice K's Guide to Life and Pack of Two. Caroline Knapp died in 2002 at the age of 42.

Table of Contents

Love — Double Life I — Destiny — Hunger — In Vodka Veritas — Sex — Drinking Alone — Addiction — Substitution — Denial — Giving Over — A Glimpse — Double Life II — Hitting Bottom — Help — Healing.

Product Details

ISBN:
9780440334088
Subtitle:
A Love Story
Publisher:
Dial Press
Author:
Knapp, Caroline
Author:
Caroline Knapp
Subject:
Alcoholism
Subject:
Specific Groups - Special Needs
Subject:
Alcoholics
Subject:
Substance Abuse & Addictions - Alcoholism
Subject:
Women
Subject:
Self-Help-Substance Abuse & Addictions - Alcoholism
Subject:
Biography & Autobiography-Women
Subject:
Biography & Autobiography-Specific Groups - Special Needs
Subject:
Self-Substance Abuse & Addictions - Alcoholism
Subject:
Self-Help : Substance Abuse & Addictions - Alcoholism
Subject:
Biography & Autobiography : Specific Groups - Special Needs
Subject:
Biography & Autobiography : Women
Subject:
Biography & Autobiography : General
Subject:
Biography & Autobiography : Personal Memoirs
Subject:
Knapp, Caroline
Subject:
Recovery
Subject:
Alcoholism -- United States -- Case studies.
Subject:
Recovering alcoholics -- United States -- Biography.
Subject:
General
Subject:
Recovering alcoholics
Subject:
Women
Subject:
Alcoholism -- United States.
Subject:
Alcoholics -- United States.
Subject:
Biography - General
Subject:
Biography-Women
Subject:
Recovery and Addiction - Drug and Alcohol Addiction
Subject:
Recovery and Addiction - General
Subject:
Recovery and Addiction-Personal Stories
Subject:
General Biography
Subject:
main_subject
Subject:
all_subjects
Publication Date:
1996
Binding:
ELECTRONIC
Language:
English
Pages:
258

Related Subjects

Biography » General
Biography » Women
Health and Self-Help » Recovery and Addiction » Drug and Alcohol Addiction
Health and Self-Help » Recovery and Addiction » General
History and Social Science » Sociology » General

Drinking: A Love Story
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Product details 258 pages Random House Publishing Group - English 9780440334088 Reviews:
"Synopsis" by , The author provides a candid memoir of her twenty-year love affair with alcohol, explaining how and why she became an alcoholic and her struggle to live without an alcoholic crutch
"Synopsis" by , Fifteen million Americans a year are plagued with alcoholism. Five million of them are women. Many of them, like Caroline Knapp, started in their early teens and began to use alcohol as "liquid armor," a way to protect themselves against the difficult realities of life. In this extraordinarily candid and revealing memoir, Knapp offers important insights not only about alcoholism, but about life itself and how we learn to cope with it.
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