The Good, the Bad, and the Hungry Sale
 
 

Recently Viewed clear list


Original Essays | June 20, 2014

Lisa Howorth: IMG So Many Books, So Many Writers



I'm not a bookseller, but I'm married to one, and Square Books is a family. And we all know about families and how hard it is to disassociate... Continue »

spacer
Qualifying orders ship free.
$4.50
List price: $12.99
Used Trade Paper
Ships in 1 to 3 days
Add to Wishlist
Qty Store Section
1 Beaverton Humor- Narrative

To My Assistant: Things I'll Never Do to You, But Many Other Crazy Bosses Will

by

To My Assistant: Things I'll Never Do to You, But Many Other Crazy Bosses Will Cover

 

Synopses & Reviews

Publisher Comments:

From the Hollywood assistant trenches, a hilarious guide to surviving life at the bottom of the totem pole.

I will not make you sort my M&Ms by color.

 

I will not take off four hours in the middle of the day to go shopping and then announce upon my return that “it’s going to be a late one—we need to catch up!”

 

I will not request that you create and maintain my online dating profile.

 

Welcome to the wickedly funny world of To My Assistant, where overworked and underappreciated assistants finally get their due. We’ve all been there. You might even be there right now. Do you depend upon your college education to handle crucial business decisions such as memorizing your boss’ lunch order, trying to schedule four meetings where only one can go, and helping your boss detag Facebook photos?   Or what about those awesome days when you’re instructed to “send me that thing from a week ago,” “call that guy I wanted to call,” or “book me a table at that restaurant that girl said was really good,” and are then berated when you’re not able to figure out immediately what your boss is talking about?

 

To My Assistant compiles everything that disgruntled and optimistic assistants everywhere promise NEVER TO DO when, one day, they have assistants of their own. From ridiculous requests and backhanded compliments to outright insults, and complete with helpful tips and tricks for Boss Wrangling—like what you can learn about your boss’s mood from his meal choices, how to navigate such professional minefields as requests for your opinion and interactions with your boss’s children and pets, and advanced translation techniques for incoherent e-mails and text messages—these pages are just what the underpaid masses need to survive (and laugh at) the daily injustices of life at the bottom of the totem pole.

 

Synopsis:

A spinoff of the buzzworthy blog, a hilarious survival guide for weathering the daily injustices of life at the bottom of the totem pole.

Lydia Whitlock was an overworked, underappreciated Hollywood assistant when she started a blog to vent her frustrations. Now she's written the handbook every underling needs to maintain a sense of humor in the dysfunctional, awkward, and--yes--indispensable relationship between boss and assistant.  

     To My Assistant is a combination of Lydia's notes to her future assistant ("Let's both hope that I don't change too much between now and whenever it is I have enough wealth and importance to hire you"), practical advice (including glossary definitions of the normal-sounding phrases bosses use to subtly undermine and insult their assistants) and helpful charts and quizzes (like "My Meals and What They Mean For You" and "Reading My Facial Expressions for Your Own Good"). Fun, compulsively readable and laugh-out-loud funny, To My Assistant will resonate with anyone currently in the trenches of assistant life--or who has survived to tell the tale!

About the Author

LYDIA WHITLOCK graduated from Yale in 2008 with a degree in Film Studies, which has proven to be very useful to her in social situations in Silver Lake and Brooklyn, but nowhere else. She moved to L.A. with hopes of making it big in show business, bolstered by the belief that she was special, which can be blamed entirely on her parents. She is currently an assistant to a commercial director--a great boss who, without knowing it, follows all the rules of To My Assistant.

Table of Contents

CONTENTS

AUTHOR’S NOTE

xi

PLEASE ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF

xiii

1

LIFE at the OFFICE

EVERY SINGLE DAY:

All the Little Things That Drive You Insane

2

FOOD:

The Only Pleasure Allowed at Work,

and Rarely at That

19

POLITICS AND PARANOIA:

How I Actually Spend Most of My Time

31

SUPPLIES AND EQUIPMENT:

They Will Alternately Save Your Life

and Ruin It

42

2

TIME

SCHEDULING:

In Which You Tr y to Fit Five Things Where

Only One Can Go

56

PATIENCE:

Well, Usually Impatience

72

TIME MANAGEMENT:

I’d Always Rather Be Checking Facebook

Than Doing My Job

80

WEEKENDS AND HOLIDAYS:

Yeah, Right

90

3

COMMUNICATION

CLARITY:

Technically, We Both Speak

THE TELEPHONE:

Torture Device Number One

122

E-MAIL, INSTANT MESSAGING, AND TEXTING:

They Were Supposed to Make Life Easier, Right?

136

VERBAL COMMUNICATION:

Had You Wanted to Spend This Much Time Pulling

Teeth, You’d Have Gone to Dental School

148

4

TRAVEL and TRANSPORTATION

TRAVEL:

Normal People Really Do Not Have

This Much Trouble with It

158

NAVIGATION:

If I Ever Make It to an Outside Meeting

on Time, It’s by Accident

176

TRANSPORTATION:

From Point A to Point B, Painfully

186

5

MAKING things PERSONAL

BASIC HUMAN DECENCY:

Not Ruining Your Entire Life,

Just Parts of It

200

MY PERSONAL LIFE:

Welcome to the World of

Too Much Information

216

YOUR PERSONAL LIFE:

If You’re Even Allowed

to Have One

228

IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH:

Together Forever (at Least That’s

What It Feels Like)

240

OKAY, YOU CAN GO HOME NOW

253

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Product Details

ISBN:
9780770437824
Author:
Whitlock, Lydia
Publisher:
Three Rivers Press (CA)
Subject:
HUMOR / Parodies
Subject:
Humor-Politics and Business
Edition Description:
Trade paper
Publication Date:
20130431
Binding:
TRADE PAPER
Language:
English
Pages:
272
Dimensions:
7.1 x 6.9 x 0.73 in 0.6 lb

Related Subjects

Arts and Entertainment » Humor » Business and Professional
Arts and Entertainment » Humor » Narrative
Arts and Entertainment » Humor » Parodies
Business » General
Business » Human Resource Management
Business » Management

To My Assistant: Things I'll Never Do to You, But Many Other Crazy Bosses Will Used Trade Paper
0 stars - 0 reviews
$4.50 In Stock
Product details 272 pages Three Rivers Press (CA) - English 9780770437824 Reviews:
"Synopsis" by , A spinoff of the buzzworthy blog, a hilarious survival guide for weathering the daily injustices of life at the bottom of the totem pole.

Lydia Whitlock was an overworked, underappreciated Hollywood assistant when she started a blog to vent her frustrations. Now she's written the handbook every underling needs to maintain a sense of humor in the dysfunctional, awkward, and--yes--indispensable relationship between boss and assistant.  

     To My Assistant is a combination of Lydia's notes to her future assistant ("Let's both hope that I don't change too much between now and whenever it is I have enough wealth and importance to hire you"), practical advice (including glossary definitions of the normal-sounding phrases bosses use to subtly undermine and insult their assistants) and helpful charts and quizzes (like "My Meals and What They Mean For You" and "Reading My Facial Expressions for Your Own Good"). Fun, compulsively readable and laugh-out-loud funny, To My Assistant will resonate with anyone currently in the trenches of assistant life--or who has survived to tell the tale!

spacer
spacer
  • back to top
Follow us on...




Powell's City of Books is an independent bookstore in Portland, Oregon, that fills a whole city block with more than a million new, used, and out of print books. Shop those shelves — plus literally millions more books, DVDs, and gifts — here at Powells.com.