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The Sweet Potato Queens' Book of Love

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The Sweet Potato Queens' Book of Love Cover

 

Synopses & Reviews

Publisher Comments:

BE PREPARED

on Account of You Just Never Know

The first rule of being prepared is, of course, always shave your legs. In a perfect world, we would not even have to mention armpits, but, sadly, even in the rarefied atmosphere of the Sweet Potato Queens domain, the hairy armpit issue has materialized. We have one Queen--she's the youngest and she missed the whole hippie thing when it was original and she's being forced to live through it now, when it is so over, since she chose to move to Boulder, Colorado, where it is apparently the height of chic to be an ugly woman. At any rate, she has not grown up and out of it sufficiently yet to begin, or I guess resume would be more accurate, shaving her underarms and so we have to do a pit check on her when she comes back to Jackson every year at parade time. (It should be duly noted that she's so beautiful and queenly that, even with hairy armpits, she's a knockout and thus has become a tourist attraction in Boulder.)

Shave everything that needs it and by all means, always wear pretty underwear, on account of you just never know. A good case can be made for carrying around with you your toothbrush, a change of underwear, a large supply of your chosen method of protection, your favorite pillow, and perhaps even a canned ham. We feel that the last item moves beyond simply being Optimistically Prepared and into the realm of Predatory Anticipation, and thus we must take a stand against it. After a pretty bad streak of men, we even considered amending the list to include carrying some sort of weapon, also because you just never know. If there exists in this universe anything more infuriating and crazy-making than a man, I don't know what it is, thank you, and I don't want to know. Of course, on a good day, I would also have to say if there is anything in this universe better than a man, I don't know what it is; and I don't think it would even be healthful for me to know at this stage of my life.

But, if you've decided to go out on a limb and kill one, for goodness' sake, be prepared. We all read, with dismay, the sad story of a good woman wronged in south Mississippi who took that option and made a complete mess of the entire thing. See, first she shot him. Well, she saw right off the bat that that was a mistake because then she had this enormous dead body to deal with. He was every bit as much trouble to her dead as he ever had been alive, and was getting more so all the time. So then, she made another snap decision to cut him up in pieces and dispose of him a hunk at a time. More poor planning. First, she didn't have the proper carving utensils on hand and hacking him up proved to be just a major chore, plus it made just this colossal mess on her off-white shag living room carpet. It's getting to be like the Cat in the Hat now, only Thing Two ain't showing up to help with the clean-up. She finally gets him into portable-size portions, and wouldn't you know it? Cheap trash bags. Can anything else possible go wrong for this poor woman? So, the lesson here is obvious--for want of a small chain saw, a roll of Visqueen and some genuine He

Synopsis:

To know the Sweet Potato Queens is to love them, and if you haven't heard about them yet, you will. Since the early 1980s, this group of belles gone bad has been the toast of Jackson, Mississippi, with their glorious annual appearance in the St. Patrick's Day parade. In The Sweet Potato Queens' Book of Love, their royal ringleader, Jill Conner Browne, introduces the Queens to the world with this sly, hilarious manifesto about love, life, men, and the importance of being prepared. Chapters include:

The True Magic Words Guaranteed to Get Any Man to Do Your Bidding

The Five Men You Must Have in Your Life at All Times

Men Who May Need Killing, Quite Frankly

What to Eat When Tragedy Strikes, or Just for Entertainment

And, of course:

The Best Advice Ever Given in the Entire History of the World

From tales of the infamous Sweet Potato Queens' Promise to the joys of Chocolate Stuff and Fat Mama's Knock You Naked Margaritas, this irreverent, shamelessly funny book is the gen-u-wine article.

Visit the Sweet potato Queens Web site at www.sweetpotatoqueens.com

Product Details

ISBN:
9781400082858
Publisher:
Three Rivers Press
Subject:
General
Author:
Browne, Jill Conner
Author:
Jill Conner Browne
Subject:
Humor-General
Subject:
Humor : General
Subject:
Biography & Autobiography : Women
Subject:
Essays (single author)
Subject:
Love & Romance
Subject:
Interpersonal Relations
Subject:
Form - Parodies
Subject:
American wit and humor
Subject:
Topic - Relationships
Subject:
General Humor
Subject:
Humor-Narrative
Subject:
Humor-Relationships
Subject:
Literature-A to Z
Subject:
Self-Help : General
Subject:
Self-Help/Relationships
Subject:
main_subject
Subject:
all_subjects
Publication Date:
19990119
Binding:
ELECTRONIC
Language:
English
Pages:
240

Related Subjects

Arts and Entertainment » Humor » General
Arts and Entertainment » Humor » Relationships
Biography » Women
Fiction and Poetry » Anthologies » Essays
Health and Self-Help » Self-Help » Relationships

The Sweet Potato Queens' Book of Love
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$ In Stock
Product details 240 pages Crown Publishing Group - English 9781400082858 Reviews:
"Synopsis" by , To know the Sweet Potato Queens is to love them, and if you haven't heard about them yet, you will. Since the early 1980s, this group of belles gone bad has been the toast of Jackson, Mississippi, with their glorious annual appearance in the St. Patrick's Day parade. In The Sweet Potato Queens' Book of Love, their royal ringleader, Jill Conner Browne, introduces the Queens to the world with this sly, hilarious manifesto about love, life, men, and the importance of being prepared. Chapters include:

The True Magic Words Guaranteed to Get Any Man to Do Your Bidding

The Five Men You Must Have in Your Life at All Times

Men Who May Need Killing, Quite Frankly

What to Eat When Tragedy Strikes, or Just for Entertainment

And, of course:

The Best Advice Ever Given in the Entire History of the World

From tales of the infamous Sweet Potato Queens' Promise to the joys of Chocolate Stuff and Fat Mama's Knock You Naked Margaritas, this irreverent, shamelessly funny book is the gen-u-wine article.

Visit the Sweet potato Queens Web site at www.sweetpotatoqueens.com

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