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No Way to Treat a First Lady: A Novelby Christopher Buckley
Synopses & Reviews
His secretary announced simply, It's her.
There was no ambiguity as to who her might be, notafter the force twelve media storm of the previous weeks. The country was convulsed. Seven-eighths of the nation's front pages and the evening news was devoted to it. If war had broken out with Russia and China, it might have made page two.
Shameless Baylor had spent much of the previous seventeen days wondering if Beth MacMann would have the balls to call him.
He was, atage not quite fifty, the top trial attorney in the country. He had been the first lawyer to charge $1,000 per hour, which-for too long--had been considered the unbreakable sound barrier of legalbilling.
There were half a dozen second-best trial attorneys each of whom, naturally, considered him- or herself the top trial attorney in the country. But none of them had been simultaneously on thecovers of all three weekly newsmagazines, none had been portrayed in movies by a famous British actor pretending to be American. None owned a professional baseball team. And, to be sure, none had been married and divorcedfour times. The previous record had stood at three. That he had any assets left after such serial marital wreckage was perhaps the greatest testament to his courtroom skills.
He hadn't beenbaptized Shameless. In fact, up to the moment he set out to become the best trial attorney in the country he had been the soul of decency, what used to go by the name of Christiangentleman, a veritable poster boy for all that is good and sunny in human nature. His real name was Boyce, and at his baptism, his godparents firmly rejected Satan on his behalf. The rejection lasted until anevent that occurred to him just before he graduated from law school.
The nickname had been given to him by a federal judge early in Boyce's controversial career, after he had persuaded a jurythat his client, the Cap'n Bob Fast Fish Restaurant chain, was unaware that its popular Neptune Burgers were made from black market Japanese whale meat. Since that stunning victory, Boyce had successfullydefended traitors, terrorists, inside traders, politicians, mobsters, blackmailers, polluters, toxic-waste dumpers, cheats, insurance frauds, drug dealers, horse dopers, televangelists, hucksters, society wife batterers, cybermonopolists, and even fellow lawyers. An eminent legal scholar who wore bow ties commented on public television that if Shameless Baylor had defended Adolf Eichmann after he had been kidnapped and brought to Israeland tried for crimes against humanity, Eichmann would have been not only acquitted, but awarded damages. It was not said admiringly. But if Boyce's fame had long since reached the point where shoeshine men inairports asked for his autograph, the public was largely unaware of the actual motivation for his remarkable career.
And now-a quarter century after his career began--his phonerang.
He reached for the button, then paused. He thought of telling the secretary to tell her to call back. Sometimes he put new clients through a ten- or fifteen-minute wait before picking up. Softenedthem up. Made them all the more eager.
Should he, to her? No. He had waited twenty-five years. He was too impatient to begin this beguine.
He felt the kettledrum in his chest. GoodLord. Was his pulse actually quickening? He, w
When First Lady Beth MacMann is charged with killing her philandering husband, the president of the United States, during a bedroom argument and the attorney general puts her on trial for assassination, she turns for help to notorious defense attorney Boyce "Shameless" Baylor, her former flame. 75,000 first printing.
<p>Christopher Buckley, the bestselling author of the comic classics <i>The White House Mess</i> and <i>Thank You for Smoking</i>, returns to the funniest place in America: Washington, D.C.</p><p>Elizabeth Tyler MacMann, the First Lady of the United States, has been charged with killing her philandering husband, the President of the United States. In the midst of a bedroom spat, she allegedly hurled a historic Paul Revere spittoon at him, with tragic results. The attorney general has no choice but to put the First Lady on trial for assassination.</p><p>The media has never warmed to Beth MacMann (her nickname in the tabloids is “Lady Bethmac”), and as America girds for a scandalous, sensational trial, Beth reaches out to the only defense attorney she trusts, Boyce “Shameless” Baylor, who charges $1,000 an hour and has represented a Who’s Who of scoundrels: murderous running backs, society wife-killers, Los Alamos spies, and national-security sellouts.</p><p>Why Boyce Baylor? Because Beth loved him once, when they were law students. Boyce wanted to marry her, but Beth chose the future President instead. Now, after all these years, Boyce has a second chance. To what lengths will a shameless lawyer go to win the Trial of the Millennium and regain the love of his life?</p><p>Buckley has been described by the <i>Los Angeles Times Book Review</i> as “one of the best and surest political humorists in America” and by <i>Entertainment Weekly</i> as “a superb writer of politically incorrect satire.” <i>No Way to Treat a First Lady</i> is flat-out hilarious. And furthermore, it’s a love story for our time.</P><hr><p>"Unspeakably and endlessly funny. Unless you're a former president. Wicked humorist Buckley shoots fish in a barrel and makes them
About the Author
Christopher Buckley is the author of eight previous books, including Thank You For Smoking and Little Green Men. That would make this his, what, ninth? He is editor of Forbes FYI magazine and has contributed over 50 “Shouts and Murmurs” to The New Yorker. He is also credited with bringing about lasting peace in the Middle East and with alerting NASA to significant problems with its Space Shuttle Automatic Re-entry Guidance System (SSAEGS), thereby sparing several square blocks of Raleigh, North Carolina a very unpleasant surprise. He is a regular contributor to Martha Stewart’s Inside Trading magazine and informally advises the government of Argentina on debt re-scheduling. He is the 2002 recipient of the Washington Irving Medal for Literary Excellence, but has yet actually to receive it. He lives in Washington, D.C. with his saintly and long-suffering wife Lucy, two children and faithful Hound Jake.
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