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The over-scheduled Child: Avoiding the Hyper-Parenting Trap

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The over-scheduled Child: Avoiding the Hyper-Parenting Trap Cover

 

Synopses & Reviews

Publisher Comments:

Do you find yourself asking "Whose life is it anyway?" Parenting today has come to resemble a relentless to-do list. Even parents with the best intentions strive to micro-manage every detail of their kids' lives and live in constant fear that their child will under-perform in any area--academic, social, athletic. Lists and schedules, meetings and appointments invade our every moment and the need to be the best dominates--and undermines--our own sense of self as well as our children's. In this groundbreaking new book, renowed child psychiatrist Alvin Rosenfeld, M.D., and longtime family-issues journalist Nicole Wise combine personal and professional experience to take action against what they see as our overeager pursuit of perfection. The clear, comforting steps they prescribe to attack this rampant phenomenon will promote healthier and happier children and revitalize the parenting experience.

Alvin Rosenfeld, M.D. is a graduate of Cornell and Harvard Medical School, has taught at Harvard and Columbia and has headed the child psychiatry training program at Stanford. Currently he divides his time between private practices in New York City and Greenwich, Connecticut. Dr. Rosenfeld has written four books and over seventy articles on issues including child abuse, foster care, and psychotherapy. He lives with his wife, a pediatrician, and their three children in Stamford, Connecticut.

Nicole Wise is an award-winning freelance journalist who has written about family life for more than a decade. Her work has been featured in a wide range of national and international publications, including Parents, The New York Times, Redbook, and Cosmopolitan. Wise also lives in Stamford with her family.

Robert Coles, M.D., a researcher and professor of psychiatry at Harvard and a Pulitzer Prize winner, has written numerous books and articles on the intellectual and spiritual lives of children. To many today, parentinghas come to resemble a relentless to-do list. Even parents with the best intentions strive to micro-manage every detail of their kids' lives and live in constant fear that their child will under-perform in any area—academic, social, athletic. Lists and schedules, meetings and appointments invade every moment and the need to be the best dominates—and undermines—our own sense of self as well as our children's. In this groundbreaking new book, renowned child psychiatrist Alvin Rosenfeld, M.D., and longtime family-issues journalist Nicole Wise combine personal and professional experience to take action against what they see as our overeager pursuit of perfection. The clear steps they prescribe to combat this phenomenon will promote healthier and happier children and revitalize the parenting experience. "This compelling, well-written book is a cautionary tale for parents who think that signing up their children for after-school activities and lessons is always in their best interest."—The New York Times

"Dr. Rosenfeld and Ms. Wise have surely captured a worrisome contemporary problem with very well meaning parents who are highly focused on their performance. They bring to our attention the fact that children are not products to be handled through a total quality management process. The authors wisely caution that both children and parents need some unscheduled down-time for restoration and reflection. The hyper-parenting they discuss is causing tremendous stress on the parents, their children and on marriages. All parents, educators, coaches, and professionals who serve families must take heed of this book's astute observations and sage advice."—Marilyn B. Benoit, M.D.

"In schools that are academically excellent but a Titanic of human values, the parents only contact with their children seems to be in the push, and they push them in every respect, not least into disastrous, premature sexuality. A large percentage of even the little ones are drugged (by prescription), and the parents are never at home but, rather, advancing their 'careers.' Let us hope that this book slows some of these people down on their sprint to nowhere. Thanks to the authors for reminding us about what really matters."—Mark Helprin, author of A Soldier of the Great War

"An excellent book which should be read by every thinking parent. It raises awkward questions for all those who want the world for their children. Thoughtful and funny, it avoids the hectoring tone so many parenting books adopt while offering an unsparing look at the materialistic and often unhappy Me Me Me culture in which our we now raise our children. But it also offers hope. We don't have to over-schedule our children to help them succeed. Ironically, they are probably better off if we don't."—Joanna Coles, The Times (London)

"Hyper-parents are born from the best intentions: They want their children to

be Above Average. Or better. But too many of us are going overboard, as

Alvin Rosenfeld and Nichole Wise document in this perceptive,well-researched book. If you want to truly help your children become the best they can be, it's crucial to establish a healthy balance between activities and family time. This book provides a template for creating and sustaining a happy, fulfilled family."—Claire Martin, author of The Nursing Mother's Problem Solver

"This book will convince today's overly stressed, harried parents—working too diligently but without joy or spontaneity—to stop striving for perfection and renew their faith in their own loving instincts."—Nancy Samalin, M.S., author of Loving Your Child is Not Enough and director and parent education or Parent Guidance Workshops in New York City

"[The Over-Scheduled Child] sends an urgently needed message to today's parents, who are constantly feeling pressured to achieve and who, in turn, are constantly pressuring their children to reach for more. It is a plea that parents everywhere should heed."—Lawrence Balter Ph.D., Professor of Applied Psychology, New York University and author of Who's in Control?: Dr. Balter's Guide to Discipline Without Combat

"A wonderfully informative and restorative read for all parents."—Kyle Pruett, M.D., author of Fatherneed: Why Father Care is as Essential as Mother Care for Your Child

"In our society, where parents feel pressured to enroll children in preschool while they are still in utero, this book is a refreshing splash of cool water. In contrast to 'winning above all else,' Rosenfeld, a child psychiatrist, advocates 'just playing' and just spending time with one's children rather than living the overbooked family life of a stereotypical soccer mom. He notes that family schedules are at a breaking point and that parents face a great deal of guilt and anxiety because they cannot give their children everything. He promotes the need for more balance and suggests that parents take to heart Dr. Spock's advice for parents to trust themselves. He further recommends abandoning the notion that parents' lives revolve solely around their children and revisits the concept of children being a part of the daily discourse of a family, where they learn a great deal more about living by having the opportunity to observe adults in an adult world. A wake-up call to parents everywhere; recommended without reservation."—Lisa Powell Williams, Moline Public Library, Illinois

Synopsis:

Argues that micro-managing activities and experiences impedes the happiness and healthy development of today's children, and offers solutions for nurturing what really matters.

Synopsis:

Do you find yourself asking "Whose life is it anyway?" Parenting today has come to resemble a relentless to-do list. Even parents with the best intentions strive to micro-manage every detail of their kids' lives and live in constant fear that their child will under-perform in any area--academic, social, athletic. Lists and schedules, meetings and appointments invade our every moment and the need to be the best dominates--and undermines--our own sense of self as well as our children's. In this groundbreaking new book, renowed child psychiatrist Alvin Rosenfeld, M.D., and longtime family-issues journalist Nicole Wise combine personal and professional experience to take action against what they see as our overeager pursuit of perfection. The clear, comforting steps they prescribe to attack this rampant phenomenon will promote healthier and happier children and revitalize the parenting experience.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments--Foreword by Robert Coles--Introduction--1. With the best intentions--2. Preconceived notions--3. The right stuff--4. Listen to the experts--5. Whose life is it?--6. Custom kids--7. Is winning everything:--8. What about us?--9. What really matters--10. How to stop hyper-parenting now--Endnotes--Index.

Product Details

ISBN:
9781429979979
Subtitle:
Avoiding the Hyper-Parenting Trap
Publisher:
St. Martin's Griffin
Author:
Wise, Nicole
Author:
Rosenfeld, Alvin , M.D.
Author:
Robert Coles, M.D.
Author:
Coles, M.D. Robert
Author:
Alvin Rosenfeld, M.D.
Author:
Rosenfeld, Alvin A.
Author:
Coles, Robert , M.D.
Subject:
Child Care
Subject:
Parenting - General
Subject:
Parenting
Subject:
Psychotherapy - Child & Adolescent
Subject:
Child rearing
Subject:
Success in children
Subject:
Child rearing -- United States.
Subject:
Child Care and Parenting-General
Subject:
main_subject
Subject:
all_subjects
Edition Description:
Trade paper
Publication Date:
20010407
Binding:
Electronic book text in proprietary or open standard format
Grade Level:
General/trade
Language:
English
Pages:
304
Dimensions:
7.830 x 5.900 x 0.725 in 0.630 lb

Related Subjects

Health and Self-Help » Child Care and Parenting » General
Health and Self-Help » Child Psychology » General

The over-scheduled Child: Avoiding the Hyper-Parenting Trap
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Product details 304 pages St. Martin's Press - English 9781429979979 Reviews:
"Synopsis" by , Argues that micro-managing activities and experiences impedes the happiness and healthy development of today's children, and offers solutions for nurturing what really matters.
"Synopsis" by ,
Do you find yourself asking "Whose life is it anyway?" Parenting today has come to resemble a relentless to-do list. Even parents with the best intentions strive to micro-manage every detail of their kids' lives and live in constant fear that their child will under-perform in any area--academic, social, athletic. Lists and schedules, meetings and appointments invade our every moment and the need to be the best dominates--and undermines--our own sense of self as well as our children's. In this groundbreaking new book, renowed child psychiatrist Alvin Rosenfeld, M.D., and longtime family-issues journalist Nicole Wise combine personal and professional experience to take action against what they see as our overeager pursuit of perfection. The clear, comforting steps they prescribe to attack this rampant phenomenon will promote healthier and happier children and revitalize the parenting experience.

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