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David MitchellDavid Mitchell's newest mind-bending, time-skipping novel may be his most accomplished work yet. Written in six sections, one per decade, The Bone... Continue »
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Invisible Radios -- Re-Mixes, Statistics, Jokes, Etc.


Invisible Radios -- Re-Mixes, Statistics, Jokes, Etc. Cover




We Saw a Car Crash
(Rejected Childrens Story)

My daddy and I saw a car crash when we went for a walk.

It was two cars and they were both dented and wrinkled. One looked like a piece of aluminum foil you find in the trash. The other one was on its side, like it was sleeping.

One of the cars said: "Oh, my eyes. I think I broke my eyes!"

It was hard to see what happened because the police cars had blocked off the area. They told us to walk the other way but we just moved over a little bit so we could see better.

It was funny to see one of the wheels moving on the sideways one. It was still trying to drive I think. It was funny to look at that wheel.

There were little pieces of glass that used to be the windshields. The windshields were really big and then I guess they just turned into millions of glass baby teeth. Daddy told me to not step on the pieces, but to look at them real closely.

The wrinkled car finally said something. It was a joke, or something funny sounding. It was like: "Oofdah... I-yi-yi." One of the policemen shook his head and smiled.

We saw some black stuff on the ground. It was gasoline or oil. Daddy said if someone dropped a match there would be a boom.

We saw an ambulance drive up and a guy jumped out of the back. He didn't really look like a doctor. He looked more like Uncle Ray. Uncle Ray looks like the guy who came out of the ambulance. Uncle Ray fixes cars at the garage in Brooklyn. Maybe the guy was there to bring the cars back to life.

We saw what the sideways car looked like on the bottom.

We saw a part that was broken. Daddy said "Axle."

Daddy said the wrinkled car was a Saab, but I thought he meant that it was full of teardrops.

We saw a man who had an owee on his head and a bunch of toilet paper around his neck like he was trying to be a mummy. It looked cool. I like mummies.

Three guys went up to the sideways car and pushed it back on its other wheels. It bounced a little and said, "Hee hee hee werr kreek." My daddy said it was a Japanese.

When we got home we ate gummy bears and potato chips. I pretended something terrible was happening with it all.

Product Details

Re-Mixes, Statistics, Jokes, Etc.
Sampsell, Kevin
Future Tense Books
Portland, OR
Publication Date:
July 2000

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Related Subjects

Fiction and Poetry » Small Press » Fiction and Prose
Fiction and Poetry » Small Press » Poetry
Fiction and Poetry » Small Press » Zines

Invisible Radios -- Re-Mixes, Statistics, Jokes, Etc. Used Pamphlet
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Product details 40 pages Future Tense Books - English 9781892061058 Reviews:
"Review" by , "What's at stake in Kevin Sampsell's writing is language and its close proximity to the cusp of danger — too close to bodies, violence, deviance, pleasure, excess....Remember when reading undid you? Sampsell asks us — half nostalgically and half with fierce vengeance — to read again."
"Review" by , "If Andy Kaufman had devoted his life to poetry instead of comedy, the result would closely resemble the twists and surprises of Kevin Sampsell's writing. One is never quite sure if Sampsell is serious or joking — is he for real or surreal? Thankfully, we aren't forced to decide because Sampsell's work transcends categories, labels, and movements. Plus there's always the delight in wondering 'What'll he come up with next time?'"
"Review" by , "By submitting to the long sought mutilations of master poets, adhering to the documentation and organization of virgin thoughts in the form of percentages, and revealing a confused obsession directed towardly elderly women, Sampsell's work has introduced the side of his self that has always been young to the side that will always be old. A nuclear explosion of the mind, imagination, and identity that leaves nothing behind but the urge to laugh."
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