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15 Remote Warehouse Children's- Poetry
2 Remote Warehouse Children's- Poetry

This title in other editions


by and

OOPS! Cover





The wind is blowing

quite a breeze.

The wind is blowing

on my knees.

The wind is blowing

Real-Life Soap Opera

My sister was fascinated

by the underwater scene.

She asked, "When did we get a round TV?"

I said, "You're watching the washing

Don't Look for Him on the Web

Little Miss Muffet

got scared on her tuffet

while eating her curds and her whey.

But little Miss Snider

just sat on the spider

and snarfed on Miss Muffet's buffet.

Foul Bawl

The score was tied.

Dave passed the ball.

I squeezed it with both hands.

I dribbled and then

shot it high.

A great hush filled the stands.

The ball went in!

Man, what a toss!

The whole team blew a gasket!

A perfect shot,

except that it

was our opponent's basket!

Two weeks went by.

Another game.

This time I stole the ball.

My hands were tense.

My chance had come

for glory after all.

I threw it hard.

I threw it fast.

As fast as it could get.

It wasn't blocked!

And yes, it rocketed

right through the net!

The crowd was mad.

The coach got sore

and sent me to my locker.

That throw was great,

he did admit —

but we were playing soccer!

This morning there's another game.

We'll win it in a rout.

It's baseball, and the coach said I

will surely play "left out"!

Don't Be 10-se


2 see you!

Glad you could come

4 dinner!

But sorry,


already 8!

Crash Diet

My mom drove us for fast food,

and the guy there had a cow!

The place didn't have

a drive-thru.

Thanks to Mom,





Bitter for Critters

Hey, can we get a dog?

Can we get a cat?

Can we get a frog?

Can we get a bat?

Why, even for a teeny mouse

I've cried and begged and blubbered.

The only pets in this whole house

are the ants inside the cupboard!

Did He Take a MacBath?

When Shakespeare was a little boy,

his parents thought him smart.

For every day he gave them joy

through wisdom he'd impart.

Such as the time he faced the bowl

and spoke a great decree.

He uttered from his wondrous soul,

"To pee or not to pee."

His Royal Sloppiness

I am the prince

of fingerprints.

Each thing I touch,

I smudge.

I got ink on

the windowsill.

And on the lamp?

That's fudge.

There's mud on

every doorknob

and paint marks

down the hall.

But don't blame me —

I've no idea

The Penmanship has Sailed

My handwriting's really lousy,

and my b's all look like d's.

I never close my o's enough,

though often close my c's.

My s's are like 5's, and so

my teacher's lost her cool.

Today we're gonna work on this

when I stay after school.

The Lollipop

Lick lick lick lick lick.

Lick lick lick lick lick lick.

Lick lick lick.

Lick lick lick.

Lick lick lick lick.

Lick lick lick lick.

Lick lick lick.

Lick lick.



He Even Has Super-Vision!

I'm sitting in the

principal's office.

But it's not scary,

it's cool.

Because, you see,

I'm the principal

and I run this whole school.

No Eggs-aggeration!

I'm writing a love song

to eggs.

They don't have eyes,

they don't have legs.

They cannot sing,

they cannot dance.

You cannot keep them

in your pants.

But they're my friends,

is what I've rambled.

I love them so...

especially scrambled!

Show and Smell

I stuffed my lunch

in my race car —

salami and some soda.

It used to be a Chevy,

but it now is a


Hair? Where?

Dad says, "You're giving me gray hair!"

At my behavior

he's often appalled.

But I don't see much

gray hair way up there...

looks more like I'm making him



I have superpowers.

I can see through walls.

I can jump fifty feet into the air

when emergency duty calls.

I can swim the English Channel

and scale Mount Everest in an hour or two.

I can save the world with a wave of my hand.

But first...

would you please tie my shoe?

Brotherly Love

I hated liver,

I hated peas,

I hated Baby Mike.

He ate my liver

and then my peas.

So now dumb Mike I like.

Tight Squeeze

Today I made a big mistake,

and I feel like a boob.

My sister asked, "How do they get

the toothpaste in the tube?"

Well, being a good sister,

I showed her.

After all, she is five (I am ten).

But she squeezed it so much

that I now need to know —

how to get the toothpaste in

Text copyright © 2008 by Alan Katz

Illustrations copyright © 2008 by Edward Koren

Product Details

Alan Katz and Edward Koren
Margaret K. McElderry Books
Koren, Edward
Koren, Edward
Katz, Alan
Humorous Stories
Social Issues - General
Children's poetry, American
Humorous poetry, American
Poetry - Humorous
Children's poetry
Edition Description:
Publication Date:
Grade Level:
from 2 up to 5
4/c jkt: spot uv + emboss; b/w int art
8.75 x 7 in
Age Level:

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Related Subjects

Children's » Poetry » General

OOPS! New Hardcover
0 stars - 0 reviews
$19.99 In Stock
Product details 176 pages Margaret K. McElderry Books - English 9781416902041 Reviews:
"Publishers Weekly Review" by , "Like Jack Prelutsky and Shel Silverstein, Katz (Take Me Out of the Bathtub) revels in the kind of schoolyard humor and wordplay relished by his target audience. These 100 light verses contain references to stale gum, troublesome siblings, outwitted parents, dirty underwear, farting in church, belly buttons and enough smelly things to make a fourth-grade boy laugh out loud in the library. Although the meter frequently stumbles, the topics are quirky ('I'm writing a love song to eggs./ They don't have eyes,/ they don't have legs./ They cannot sing,/ they cannot dance. / You cannot keep them / in your pants./ But they're my friends...'). They're often contemporary, too, as in a poem that begins, 'I put my brother on eBay,/ but nobody made a bid.' Koren (Very Hairy Harry), well known as a New Yorker cartoonist, amplifies the humor with droll b&w drawings in his distinctive, antically cross-hatched style. Perhaps the best section of all is in prose, consisting of 30 free-form 'special bonus pages!!' called 'Oops! There's More.' Here Katz offers some of the funniest jokes in the book along with a mlange of digressions about his grade school career, advice for young writers and a tongue-in-cheek promotion for Uh-Oh, this book's sequel. Ages 7-10." Publishers Weekly (Copyright Reed Business Information, Inc.)
"Review" by , "Children — never mind adults — will find the urge to read aloud from these pages well nigh irresistible."
"Synopsis" by , Silly-dilly author Alan Katz pens this hilarious collection of poems, each accompanied by black-and-white illustrations by acclaimed New Yorker cartoonist Edward Koren.
"Synopsis" by , Find your funny bone and grab your giggles!

You're about to embark on an adventure through the hilarious landscape created by ALAN KATZ and EDWARD KOREN.

From the kingdom of His Royal Sloppiness (also known as the prince of fingerprints) to the trouble-ridden Pencil-vania, this is a world of hallway hijinks, show-and-smell, clean-freak parents, dentist dilemmas, bothersome brothers, and sinister sisters. If you are a kid, or you know a kid, or if you ever were a kid, this is a poetry collection to cherish (but wipe your hands first!).

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