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This title in other editions

Sh*t My Dad Says

by

Sh*t My Dad Says Cover

 

Staff Pick

Okay, yes, it kind of sucks that this guy's dad says funny things, he writes them down, and presto — book deal! But get over it. The book is hilarious, and will make you grateful your dad is only mildly weird and embarrassing.
Recommended by Hank, Powells.com

Synopses & Reviews

Publisher Comments:

After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, twenty-eight-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his seventy-three-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair, has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him:

  • That woman was sexy. . . . Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them.
  • Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started fucking.
  • The worst thing you can be is a liar. . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two.

More than a million people now follow Mr. Halpern's philosophical musings on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his quotes. An all-American story that unfolds on the Little League field, in Denny's, during excruciating family road trips, and, most frequently, in the Halperns' kitchen over bowls of Grape-Nuts, Sh*t My Dad Says is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father-son relationship from a major new comic voice.

Review:

"If you're wondering if there is a real man behind the quotes on Twitter, the answer is a definite and laugh-out-loud yes." Christian Lander, New York Times bestselling author of Stuff White People Like

Review:

"Justin Halpern tosses lightening bolts of laughter out of his pocket like he is shooting dice in a back alley. In one sweep of a paragraph, he ranges from hysterical to disgusting to touching — and does it all seamlessly. Sh*t My Dad Says is a really, really funny book." Laurie Notaro, New York Times bestselling author of The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club

Review:

"This book is ridiculously hilarious, and makes my father look like a normal member of society." Chelsea Handler

Review:

"Justin Halpern's dad is up there with Aristotle and Winston F*cking Churchill. He's brilliant, and his son's book is absolutely hilarious." A.J. Jacobs, New York Times bestselling author of The Know-It-All

Synopsis:

In the vein of bestselling humor collections by Chelsea Handler, David Sedaris, and Laurie Notaro, Sh*t My Dad Says is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father-son relationship from a major new comic voice.

Synopsis:

In the vein of SH*T MY DAD SAYS, a hilarious chronicle of a twentysomething and her 75-year-old sh*t-talking yenta as they navigate through the world of online dating and modern love.

Synopsis:

At twenty-three, Kayli Stollak, like most starry-eyed twentysomethings, assumed that she and her boyfriend, Charlie, would be together forever. Besides a rockinand#8217; sex life, they shared a passion for motorcycle adventures, hedonistic European music festivals, and wearing matching glittery spandex to the disco. What more could a gal ask for? She envisioned their love burning well into their sixties.

and#160;

And then he dumped her.

and#160;

Heartbroken, Kayli turned to her seventy-five-year-old granny for support. And this ainand#8217;t no ordinary granny. Granny Gail is a ball-busting, sh*t-talking, gossipy yenta with an anecdote or piece of unsolicited advice for every situation. Granny didnand#8217;t sugarcoat the truth or let Kayli dwell on her failed relationship. No, Granny told her to cut the crap and snap out of it. Why didnand#8217;t Kayli give and#8220;one of those dating websitesand#8221; a shot? With her ego on the line, Kayli threw the dare right back at herand#8212;if it was so wonderful, why didnand#8217;t single Granny join her in the world of cyber romance?

and#160;

Granny Is My Wingman chronicles Kayliand#8217;s and Grannyand#8217;s misadventures in online dating. What ensues is a hilarious tour through the obstacles of modern love: drunken hookups, late-night Facebook stalking, breathy phone calls with geriatric suitors, and the occasional rude dude. While Kayli powers through a marathon of OkCupid datesand#8212;the corporate drone married to his BlackBerry, the nail-biting thirty-three-year-old who still lives at home with his mom, the serial online daterand#8212;we learn about Grannyand#8217;s romantic past and the bittersweet affair she carried on, even while married, for more than thirty years. The two women cheer each other on and become even closer as they share their dating exploits, learning that the hunt for happiness is the same whether youand#8217;re twenty-five or seventy-five.

and#160;

Fresh, funny, and honest, Granny Is My Wingman is a book for anyone who has ever found love, lost it, and been crazy enough to do it all over again.

and#160;

Synopsis:

Erin McHughs last book, Like My Mother Always Said, collected a rainbow of helpful, humorous, and questionable wisdom from our moms and has been a solid success.  Its not fair that mothers should get all the attention, so the next branch on the family tree to explore belongs to fathers.  The same crowdsourcing that brought together the scores of quotations and stories for the first book is also at work here.  From quips to short anecdotes, the book is divided up into all the sage and nutty information we garner from our fathers in chapters such as “Growing Up Right,” “The Facts of Life,” “Dads Soft Spot,” “Got It from Grandpa,” “The Sporting Life,” and “Ask Your Mother.”

About the Author

Justin Halpern is the founding editor of the comedy website HolyTaco.com and a senior writer at Maxim.com. Halpern is the creator of the Twitter page "Shit My Dad Says," which boasts almost two million followers, and is co-writer and co-producer of the CBS sitcom $#*! My Dad Says. He splits his time between Los Angeles and his parents' home in San Diego.

Table of Contents

1.and#160;Who the Hell Is Jenna Jones?!and#8195;1

2.and#160;Hitting Is a Part of Healingand#8195;5

3.and#160;Cut the Shitand#8195;11

4.and#160;Whatand#8217;s Love Got to Do with It?and#8195;14

5.and#160;An Affair to Rememberand#8195;20

6.and#160;The Favorite Granddaughterand#8195;28

7.and#160;75 Yr Old Woman Seeks 75 Yr Old Manand#8195;32

8.and#160;I Donand#8217;t Make Dinner, I Make Reservationsand#8195;38

9.and#160;Players Gonna Playand#8195;45

10.and#160;Settling for Lifeand#8195;57

11.and#160;Fantastic vs. Fartyand#8195;65

12.and#160;Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire!and#8195;70

13.and#160;This Ainand#8217;t Her First Rodeoand#8195;80

14.and#160;Junk in the Trunkand#8195;85

15.and#160;Southern Comfortand#8195;91

16.and#160;Penny-Pinchersand#8195;104

17.and#160;Club Ratsand#8195;110

18.and#160;Donand#8217;t Stop, Wonand#8217;t Stopand#8195;117

19.and#160;Speed Bumpsand#8195;123

20.and#160;Itand#8217;s Not Me, Itand#8217;s Youand#8195;133

21.and#160;Hakuna Matataand#8195;138

22.and#160;Heand#8217;s Busy? Youand#8217;re Twice as Busyand#8195;146

23.and#160;Dasher and Dancerand#8195;156

24.and#160;The Horizontal Boogieand#8195;159

25.and#160;Friends in a Hopeless Placeand#8195;174

26.and#160;IRLand#8195;182

27.and#160;Whole Foods Hookupsand#8195;187

28.and#160;Granny Knows Bestand#8195;191

29.and#160;D to the T to the Rand#8195;197

and#160;and#160;and#160;Acknowledgmentsand#8195;203

and#160;and#160;and#160;About the Authorand#8195;205

What Our Readers Are Saying

Add a comment for a chance to win!
Average customer rating based on 6 comments:

Ruff Tymes, August 8, 2012 (view all comments by Ruff Tymes)
Very funny. But, not for anyone easly offended by bad language.
Was this comment helpful? | Yes | No
Big K, January 4, 2011 (view all comments by Big K)
Rec'd this book for Father's Day. And I held off reading it because I thought it would be a disappointment over Justin Halpern's brilliant Tweets. But I was wrong. In addition to being hilarious, the book was refreshingly upbeat and insightful.
Was this comment helpful? | Yes | No
Tifni, January 3, 2011 (view all comments by Tifni)
This was far more sentimental than the title would lead you to believe but not in a sappy way. I had been reading the blog for a year or so, and the book isn't just a list of quotes, there is a developed back-story and context is given. Reminiscent of a modern day Wonder Year in book form.
Was this comment helpful? | Yes | No
(1 of 1 readers found this comment helpful)
View all 6 comments

Product Details

ISBN:
9780061992704
Author:
Halpern, Justin
Publisher:
It Books
Author:
Stollak, Kayli
Author:
Chester, Adam
Author:
McHugh, Erin
Subject:
General
Subject:
Fathers and sons
Subject:
American wit and humor
Subject:
General Humor
Subject:
Humor-Anthologies
Copyright:
Edition Description:
Hardcover
Publication Date:
20100504
Binding:
Hardback
Grade Level:
General/trade
Language:
English
Illustrations:
author photo
Pages:
176
Dimensions:
7 x 5 in

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Related Subjects

Arts and Entertainment » Excess Culture » Humor
Arts and Entertainment » Humor » Anecdotes
Arts and Entertainment » Humor » Anthologies
Arts and Entertainment » Humor » Family
Arts and Entertainment » Humor » General
Arts and Entertainment » Humor » Narrative
Calendars, Notebooks, and Gifts » Gift Ideas » General Gift Books
Featured Titles » General
Featured Titles » Staff Picks
Fiction and Poetry » Literature » A to Z
Health and Self-Help » Self-Help » General

Sh*t My Dad Says Used Hardcover
0 stars - 0 reviews
$8.95 In Stock
Product details 176 pages It Books - English 9780061992704 Reviews:
"Staff Pick" by ,

Okay, yes, it kind of sucks that this guy's dad says funny things, he writes them down, and presto — book deal! But get over it. The book is hilarious, and will make you grateful your dad is only mildly weird and embarrassing.

"Review" by , "If you're wondering if there is a real man behind the quotes on Twitter, the answer is a definite and laugh-out-loud yes."
"Review" by , "Justin Halpern tosses lightening bolts of laughter out of his pocket like he is shooting dice in a back alley. In one sweep of a paragraph, he ranges from hysterical to disgusting to touching — and does it all seamlessly. Sh*t My Dad Says is a really, really funny book."
"Review" by , "This book is ridiculously hilarious, and makes my father look like a normal member of society."
"Review" by , "Justin Halpern's dad is up there with Aristotle and Winston F*cking Churchill. He's brilliant, and his son's book is absolutely hilarious."
"Synopsis" by , In the vein of bestselling humor collections by Chelsea Handler, David Sedaris, and Laurie Notaro, Sh*t My Dad Says is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father-son relationship from a major new comic voice.
"Synopsis" by ,

In the vein of SH*T MY DAD SAYS, a hilarious chronicle of a twentysomething and her 75-year-old sh*t-talking yenta as they navigate through the world of online dating and modern love.

"Synopsis" by , At twenty-three, Kayli Stollak, like most starry-eyed twentysomethings, assumed that she and her boyfriend, Charlie, would be together forever. Besides a rockinand#8217; sex life, they shared a passion for motorcycle adventures, hedonistic European music festivals, and wearing matching glittery spandex to the disco. What more could a gal ask for? She envisioned their love burning well into their sixties.

and#160;

And then he dumped her.

and#160;

Heartbroken, Kayli turned to her seventy-five-year-old granny for support. And this ainand#8217;t no ordinary granny. Granny Gail is a ball-busting, sh*t-talking, gossipy yenta with an anecdote or piece of unsolicited advice for every situation. Granny didnand#8217;t sugarcoat the truth or let Kayli dwell on her failed relationship. No, Granny told her to cut the crap and snap out of it. Why didnand#8217;t Kayli give and#8220;one of those dating websitesand#8221; a shot? With her ego on the line, Kayli threw the dare right back at herand#8212;if it was so wonderful, why didnand#8217;t single Granny join her in the world of cyber romance?

and#160;

Granny Is My Wingman chronicles Kayliand#8217;s and Grannyand#8217;s misadventures in online dating. What ensues is a hilarious tour through the obstacles of modern love: drunken hookups, late-night Facebook stalking, breathy phone calls with geriatric suitors, and the occasional rude dude. While Kayli powers through a marathon of OkCupid datesand#8212;the corporate drone married to his BlackBerry, the nail-biting thirty-three-year-old who still lives at home with his mom, the serial online daterand#8212;we learn about Grannyand#8217;s romantic past and the bittersweet affair she carried on, even while married, for more than thirty years. The two women cheer each other on and become even closer as they share their dating exploits, learning that the hunt for happiness is the same whether youand#8217;re twenty-five or seventy-five.

and#160;

Fresh, funny, and honest, Granny Is My Wingman is a book for anyone who has ever found love, lost it, and been crazy enough to do it all over again.

and#160;

"Synopsis" by ,
Erin McHughs last book, Like My Mother Always Said, collected a rainbow of helpful, humorous, and questionable wisdom from our moms and has been a solid success.  Its not fair that mothers should get all the attention, so the next branch on the family tree to explore belongs to fathers.  The same crowdsourcing that brought together the scores of quotations and stories for the first book is also at work here.  From quips to short anecdotes, the book is divided up into all the sage and nutty information we garner from our fathers in chapters such as “Growing Up Right,” “The Facts of Life,” “Dads Soft Spot,” “Got It from Grandpa,” “The Sporting Life,” and “Ask Your Mother.”
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