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Ablutions: Notes for a Novel

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Ablutions: Notes for a Novel Cover

 

 

Excerpt

Discuss the regulars. They sit in a line like ugly, huddled birds, eyes wet with alcohol. They whisper into their cups and seem to be gloating about something — you will never know what. Some have jobs, children, spouses, cars, and mortgages, while others live with their parents or in transient motels and are on government assistance, a curious balance of classes particular to the parts of Hollywood devoid of klieg lights and make-believe. There are sometimes limousines at the curb out front; other nights feature police cars and ambulances and vicious street scenarios. The bar interior resembles a sunken luxury liner of the early 1900s, mahogany and brass, black-burgundy leather coated in dust and ash. It is impossible to know how many times the ownership has changed hands.

     The regulars are warm with one another but generally come and go alone and as far as you can tell have never been to one another’s homes. This makes you lonely and the hearts of the world seem cold and stingy and you are reminded of the saying, every man for himself, which as a child made you want to lie down and "be killed."

     You do not take much stock in the North American definition of the word but you suppose these people are alcoholics. They like you, or anyway are used to you, and they reach out to touch you when you pass as though you are a good-luck gambling charm. You once found this repulsive and would circle the bar with your back hugging the wall rather than move through the network of fleshy red hands, but you have reconciled yourself to the attention and it has become familiar, even enjoyable for you. It now feels more like a commendation than an intrusion, recognition of your difficult job, and you nod and smile as the hands grab you around the waist, rubbing and slapping your back and belly.

     From your post at the side bar entrance you watch them watch themselves in the mirror behind the bar. Preening, pecking, satisfied by their reflections — what do they see in their murky silhouettes? You wonder keenly about their lives prior to their residence here. Strange as it seems, they must have been regulars at some other Hollywood bar, but had moved on or been asked to move on, and they sought out a new retreat, settling down with the first free beer or kind word, some bartender’s impotent joke mutilated beyond recognition in its endless retelling. And the regulars turned to tell the joke once more.

     You wonder also about their present lives but to make inquiries is purposeless — the regulars are all sensational liars. But you want to know what it is about their existence that fuels the need to inhabit not just the same building every night but the same barstool, upon which they sip the same drink. And if a bartender forgets a regular’s usual, the regular is cut down and his eyes swell with a lost suffering. Why? It bothers you to know that the truth will never reveal itself spontaneously and you keep on your toes for clues.

When you first come to work at the bar you drink Claymore, the least expensive or what is called the well scotch. This was your brand when you were out in the world and you are happy to finally find a never-ending, complimentary supply. You have been at the bar for two years, drinking Claymore in great quantity, sometimes straight, oftentimes with ginger ale or cola, before the manager, Simon, asks why you don’t drink the quality liquors. "There aren’t many upsides to the life, but I drink the best booze," he says. And so each night you sample a different scotch or whiskey. There are more than forty-five different types of scotch and whiskey and you are very tired at the end of your quest but you find at long last the quality liquor Simon spoke of. As someone who spends a good deal of time surrounded by alcohol, people often ask what you drink, and now you do not shrug or cough but look up and say directly, "I drink John Jameson finest Irish whiskey."

You fall in love with Jameson Irish whiskey. Previously when you held a bottle of alcohol in your hands you felt a comfort in knowing that its contents would simultaneously deaden and heighten your limited view of the world but you did not care for the actual bottle, as you do now with Jameson, you did not trace your hands over the raised lettering and study the exquisite script. One night you are alone in the back bar doing just this — the bottle is in your hands and you are mooning over the curlicues at the base of the label — and the name John Jameson brings into your head the child’s tune "John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt." You are humming this to yourself when Simon, the man responsible for your discovery of Jameson whiskey, enters the bar singing aloud this very same song. He waves to you and walks past, into the front bar, and you are staring in disbelief because there is no explaining so obscure a coincidence and you feel you have been visited by the strongest of omens. Good or bad, you do not know. There is nothing to do but wait and see.

     Now a group of drunks up front have picked up the song and are singing in the single voice of a runaway giant.

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Average customer rating based on 3 comments:

Tyler Jones, February 17, 2010 (view all comments by Tyler Jones)
"Ablutions" is a sparse elegant novel set mostly in a dark, dim lit Hollywood bar. It mines similar terrority as Bukowski and Denis Johnson without ever feeling like a rehash.

deWitt's dead pan voice is flawlessly maintained throughout the work, making even the worst of circumstances seem normal, ordinary even. Despite the lack of a "hero" we find ourselves cheering on the luckless bartender whose life is slowly (or quickly) coming apart.

There is no plot to speak of, but one is not really necessary. The writing is rendered so beautifully that we don't miss anything in the way of drama or development.

The grim setting and haphazard characters are simply a landscape for deWitt to explore the human condition. His voice is an intelligent counterpoint to the events he describes.

This book is a bretah of fresh air in an otherwise stagnant pool of young "literary" authors. I can't recommend it highly enough.
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amichod, June 24, 2009 (view all comments by amichod)
An amazing, torturous, snaking dagger in the eye: "Ablutions" by Patrick deWitt, a slim tale of addiction set in Bukowski's backyard that manages, mindbogglingly, to be patently anti-Bukowskian
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bitterpeanut, May 17, 2009 (view all comments by bitterpeanut)
This book is about "you". No really, "you" are mentioned on average 10 times a paragraph. I was looking forward to this book but I was greatly disappointed. Wait... You were looking forward to the book but you were greatly disappointed.
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Product Details

ISBN:
9780151014989
Subtitle:
Notes for a Novel
Publisher:
Mariner Books
Author:
DeWitt, Patrick
Subject:
General
Subject:
Alcoholics
Subject:
Authorship
Subject:
General Fiction
Subject:
Literature-A to Z
Subject:
Literary
Edition Description:
Trade Cloth
Publication Date:
20100408
Binding:
Electronic book text in proprietary or open standard format
Grade Level:
General/trade
Language:
English
Pages:
176
Dimensions:
8 x 5.31 in 0.36 lb

Related Subjects


Fiction and Poetry » Literature » A to Z
Fiction and Poetry » Literature » Locked Case

Ablutions: Notes for a Novel
0 stars - 0 reviews
$ In Stock
Product details 176 pages Houghton Mifflin Harcourt (HMH) - English 9780151014989 Reviews:
"Publishers Weekly Review" by , "Charles Bukowski's ghost hovers over deWitt's grim first novel about a bartender at a Hollywood watering hole and its down-and-out regulars. The unnamed bartender's observations on his co-workers and customers comprise a good chunk of the novel. There's Simon, the manager, a coke-addled failed actor; Merlin, a freelance life coach in his 70s; the unemployed Curtis, who distributes as tips used electronics from his apartment; Terese and Teri, known as The Teachers, who have slept with all the doormen at the bar; and the former child star for whom oblivion can't come soon enough. The bartender himself is also a lush, and after losing his wife he embarks on a halfhearted cleanup. When this fails to take, he returns to the bar and plans one last ploy to break free of his increasingly onerous existence. The downward spiral is a hellish descent that seems bottomless, and while the character sketches are fascinating in detail, the plotless ramble can make this relatively short novel feel overlong. Fans of Bukowski and the Fantes, however, won't mind." Publishers Weekly (Copyright Reed Business Information, Inc.)
"Review" by , "A hypnotic cross between Lorrie Moore and Denis Johnson."
"Review" by , "Ablutions is a novel about the deteriorating health of our livers and the malaise of our dreams. Perverse in its humor, but ultimately about our potential for redemption, it's riotously funny and cripplingly sad all at the same time. Patrick DeWitt takes on our diseases and depravity with prose that may yet rescue us from the gutter."
"Review" by , "Ablutions is funny and precarious, a novel that shifts the ground under the reader's feet, a naked-lightbulb self-examination that doesn't shy from high comedy. DeWitt has a gimlet eye and a dead aim with words."
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