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Original Essays | September 30, 2014

Brian Doyle: IMG The Rude Burl of Our Masks



One day when I was 12 years old and setting off on my newspaper route after school my mom said will you stop at the doctor's and pick up something... Continue »
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    Children and Other Wild Animals

    Brian Doyle 9780870717543

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Be Ready When the Sh*t Goes Down: A Survival Guide to the Apocalypse

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Be Ready When the Sh*t Goes Down: A Survival Guide to the Apocalypse Cover

 

Synopses & Reviews

Publisher Comments:

Do you really need to buy this book? You gotta ask yourself one question: Are you going to be ready when the sh*t goes down? Here is a quick checklist:

1. Have you dug up your wife's rose garden and built a fallout shelter, equipped with a prison where you can lock up annoying family members?

2. Have you mapped out an escape route to your safe zone?

3. Is there a vehicle of death sitting in your garage?

4. Have you filled your go bag with all the needed instruments, including waterproof matches, postapocalyptic goggles, and at least one sexual party favor?

5. Have you learned how to milk various types of animals, including a giraffe?

As you can see, you need this book more than you even know. Without it, you're roadkill. Lucky for you, Forrest Griffin is the perfect apocalyptic chaperon. When he was in the womb, his mother had visions that the world would soon crumble, and Forrest would be the messiah of all mankind. He learned of these "visions" at the age of ten, and although they led him to believe that his mom had just been watching Mad Max and eating bad Mexican food, nevertheless he began his postapocalyptic training—a part of which involved his becoming a proud member of the Webelos, which is just one step below Boy Scout. And you know what the Boy Scout motto is. (Well, I hope you do, because Forrest doesn't have a clue). Another part involved hoarding ketchup packets, which he sucked down in the darkness of his room while listening to Nine Inch Nails. Hey, don't judge . . . hoarders are survivors. Just look at squirrels, they have been around longer than sharks.

If you want to survive the end of the world, and then avoid ending up in a government holding pen suffering from a bunch of diseases and listening to crying babies, you've got some skills to master. But don't worry—Forrest has you covered. From spotting the signs of the global downfall, to alienating your loved ones now so they don't come looking for you after, to hot-wiring a car to starting a religion in your own image, he provides you with all the hot knowledge you need to survive the downfall of civilization. Simply put, this is the most important book about the apocalypse that you will ever read by a UFC fighter from Georgia.

Synopsis:

Ultimate Fighter champ Forrest Griffin and Erich Krauss, who previously brought you the New York Times bestseller Got Fight, now offer a hilarious and very timely guide to surviving the coming apocalypse. Be Ready When the Sh*t Goes Down provides everything an aspiring Mad Max needs to know about post-apocalyptic living. Since its coming soon anyway, we might as well all Be Ready When the Sh*t Goes Down.

Synopsis:

The end of the world is coming. Are you going to be ready when the sh*t goes down? Heres a quick checklist:

  1. Have you dug up your wifes rose garden and built a fallout shelter, equipped with a prison where you can lock up annoying family members?
  2. Have you mapped out an escape route to your safe zone?
  3. Is there a vehicle of death sitting in your garage?
  4. Have you filled your go bag with all the needed instruments, including waterproof matches, postapocalyptic goggles, and at least one sexual party favor?
  5. Have you learned how to milk various types of animals, including a giraffe?

You need this book more than you even know. Without it, youre roadkill. Lucky for you, Forrest Griffin is the perfect apocalyptic chaperone. From spotting the signs of the global downfall to alienating your loved ones now so they dont come looking for you after, to hot-wiring a car to starting a religion in your own image, Griffin provides you with all the hot knowledge you need to survive the downfall of civilization. Simply put, this is the most important book about the apocalypse that you will ever read by a UFC fighter from Georgia.

About the Author

Forrest Griffin is one of the top-ranked light-heavyweight mixed martial artists in the world. He won the first season of The Ultimate Fighter in 2005 and has been one of the most beloved UFC fighters ever since. He is the Day man, fighter of the Night man, and champion of the sun. He is also a master of karate and friendship for everyone. But calm down, ladies, Forrest and his main squeeze, Jaime, live in Las Vegas.

Erich Krauss is a professional Muay Thai fighter and the author of more than twenty-five books, including Anderson Silva's The Mixed Martial Arts Instruction Manual: Striking. He has written for the New York Times, and is the founder and publisher of Victory Belt Publishing. He lives in Las Vegas.

Product Details

ISBN:
9780061998263
Author:
Griffin, Forrest
Publisher:
It Books
Author:
Krauss, Erich
Subject:
General Sports & Recreation
Subject:
Outdoors-General
Edition Description:
Trade PB
Publication Date:
20110831
Binding:
TRADE PAPER
Grade Level:
General/trade
Language:
English
Pages:
272
Dimensions:
9 x 6 x 0.696 in 10.4 oz

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Related Subjects

» Arts and Entertainment » Humor » Sports
» Featured Titles » Humor
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» Health and Self-Help » Safety » General
» History and Social Science » Pacific Northwest » Featured Titles
» Reference » General
» Sports and Outdoors » Outdoors » General
» Sports and Outdoors » Outdoors » Lore and Survival
» Sports and Outdoors » Outdoors » Survival

Be Ready When the Sh*t Goes Down: A Survival Guide to the Apocalypse Used Trade Paper
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$14.99 In Stock
Product details 272 pages It Books - English 9780061998263 Reviews:
"Synopsis" by , Ultimate Fighter champ Forrest Griffin and Erich Krauss, who previously brought you the New York Times bestseller Got Fight, now offer a hilarious and very timely guide to surviving the coming apocalypse. Be Ready When the Sh*t Goes Down provides everything an aspiring Mad Max needs to know about post-apocalyptic living. Since its coming soon anyway, we might as well all Be Ready When the Sh*t Goes Down.
"Synopsis" by , The end of the world is coming. Are you going to be ready when the sh*t goes down? Heres a quick checklist:

  1. Have you dug up your wifes rose garden and built a fallout shelter, equipped with a prison where you can lock up annoying family members?
  2. Have you mapped out an escape route to your safe zone?
  3. Is there a vehicle of death sitting in your garage?
  4. Have you filled your go bag with all the needed instruments, including waterproof matches, postapocalyptic goggles, and at least one sexual party favor?
  5. Have you learned how to milk various types of animals, including a giraffe?

You need this book more than you even know. Without it, youre roadkill. Lucky for you, Forrest Griffin is the perfect apocalyptic chaperone. From spotting the signs of the global downfall to alienating your loved ones now so they dont come looking for you after, to hot-wiring a car to starting a religion in your own image, Griffin provides you with all the hot knowledge you need to survive the downfall of civilization. Simply put, this is the most important book about the apocalypse that you will ever read by a UFC fighter from Georgia.

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