Star Wars Sale

Special Offers see all

Enter to WIN!

Weekly drawing for $100 credit. Subscribe to for a chance to win.
Privacy Policy

More at Powell's

Recently Viewed clear list

Original Essays | June 20, 2014

Lisa Howorth: IMG So Many Books, So Many Writers

I'm not a bookseller, but I'm married to one, and Square Books is a family. And we all know about families and how hard it is to disassociate... Continue »
  1. $18.20 Sale Hardcover add to wish list

    Flying Shoes

    Lisa Howorth 9781620403013

Qualifying orders ship free.
New Trade Paper
Ships in 1 to 3 days
Add to Wishlist
Qty Store Section
18 Local Warehouse Children's- Sports Fiction- Martial Arts
25 Remote Warehouse Children's Young Adult- Social Issue Fiction

More copies of this ISBN

Tap Out


Tap Out Cover




From Chapter 1:

I am a pussy. I know this, and not much else.

A wet smack sounds in the next room. My mother cries in pain. “Please, Cameron, I didnt mean anything.” He hits her again, twice, dense flesh on flesh.

“The fuck you didnt,” Cameron, my mothers boyfriend, slurs. She must have made some joke that he was too drunk to understand. Again.

So hes kicking the shit out of her. Again.

Im sitting on the corner of my bed, listening, but not doing anything, even though I want to. My muscles are all coiled, tight, like Im ready to roll, but I wont. Cameron is wiry, works construction, and could toss me across the fucking room. At least thats what I tell myself about him, this boyfriend. Ive had excuses for all the others as well, and an entire list of reasons for my father.

He hits her again, a dull thud, the sound of his fist hitting her head. “You gonna apologize or what?”

“Im sorry. Im sorry. I didnt mean anything.”

Another blow, and she hits the wall. The house vibrates. “Damn straight, you dumb bitch.” The door squeals as he pounds down the hall and the fridge opens. Hes grabbing a beer, or two. The can clicks and pops, followed by the sound of him falling into the recliner. The volume on the TV goes up: lots of screaming and yelling.

Fuck, maybe its over. I grab the back of my head and bury my face into the crooks of my elbows. I want to block out the sound of him and forget what I just heard, but my moms crying seeps through the paper-thin walls. I hate the noise, but more, I hate how common it is. How many times has she been like this? Its impossible to keep track, theres been so many.

Her cry lifts and then is muffled. She must be using her pillow. I hope so, because if he hears her . . . Hopefully shell be able to calm and then sit, red-faced and swollen, and wait for Cam get a sleepy buzz. Then, like always, she can ice or shower, depending on how bad it is. Once it started, it only took them three months to find this pattern. Not a record, but pretty fast.

Wonder how long it took for her and my dad?

Hes the reason Im such a little bitch now, hiding out instead of stepping up. As a kid I never once went after him, just daydreamed about taking him out. In the end I didnt have to; he just left. As have all the rest. But Camerons still hanging around, and this time I see myself stepping into her bedroom when hes wailing on her. I grab his arm mid-swing and twist him around. He sees me and his eyes go wide, but then he gets that sneer like he always does. But before he can do anything, I head-butt him. He collapses to his knees, grabbing his face as the blood pumps out. I ignore it and put my fist into his jaw. No, through it. My mom screams, but I ignore her and enjoy his pain. He goes to speak but realizes that his jaw is shattered and I laugh, because I know in that moment I could kill him. I may not be big, but you dont get beat your entire life without hardening.

I could take him out. I have the capacity, and that is enough for me, because I dont want to actually do it and be like him, or the others. In my fantasy I help my mother up and walk her out of the room, away from the oozing mass in the corner. We step into a cleaner version of our life, where were not confined to our prison of a trailer and no one sees us as white trash.

Its never gonna happen though, so theres no point in wishing for it. I stand up and walk to the bathroom and the trailer wobbles. Or it could be Im still amped and it feels that way. Or the fucking thing may really be falling apart. Why wouldnt it? Everything else is.

Product Details

Devine, Eric
Running Press Kids
Situations / Physical & Emotional Abuse
Children s-Sports Fiction-Martial Arts
Edition Description:
Trade Paper
Publication Date:
Grade Level:
from 8
8.25 x 5.5 in
Age Level:
from 14

Other books you might like

  1. Raft Used Trade Paper $4.50
  2. Me and Earl and the Dying Girl Used Trade Paper $5.50
  3. Boy21
    New Trade Paper $9.00
  4. Aristotle and Dante Discover the...
    Used Hardcover $9.50

Related Subjects

Children's » Situations » Physical and Emotional Abuse
Children's » Sports and Outdoors » Sports Fiction » Martial Arts
Young Adult » Fiction » Social Issues » Self-Esteem and Self-Reliance
Young Adult » General

Tap Out Used Trade Paper
0 stars - 0 reviews
$9.95 In Stock
Product details 320 pages Running Press Kids - English 9780762445691 Reviews:
"Publishers Weekly Review" by , "Faced with a variety of hard, unpleasant decisions, a teenager turns to mixed martial arts (MMA) in an attempt to take control of his increasingly difficult life. Seventeen-year-old Tony Antioch can't see any way out of a daily existence that involves a drug-addicted mother, her physically abusive boyfriend, and a meth-dealing biker gang that refuses to take no for an answer when they try to recruit him. Every attempt Tony makes to help his mother, avoid trouble, or better his situation inevitably turns sour, with his MMA training only making him a better, more brutal fighter. It all leads up to a deadly, desperate climax that leaves no one unscathed. Devine doesn't pull any punches in this violent and graphic tale, and the visceral, profanity-drenched narration is in keeping with the subject matter. Women are used and abused, people are beaten and killed, and drugs and casual sex are prevalent. Moments of hope and optimism are far and few between, and even mature readers may find the story overwhelmingly bleak. Ages 14 — up. Agent: Kate McKean, Howard Morhaim Literary Agency. (Sept.)" Publishers Weekly Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved.
"Synopsis" by ,
Honest, raw, and thought provoking, the story of a teenage boy who finds escape through Mixed Martial Arts.

  • back to top
Follow us on...

Powell's City of Books is an independent bookstore in Portland, Oregon, that fills a whole city block with more than a million new, used, and out of print books. Shop those shelves — plus literally millions more books, DVDs, and gifts — here at