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Original Essays | September 15, 2014

Lois Leveen: IMG Forsooth Me Not: Shakespeare, Juliet, Her Nurse, and a Novel

There's this writer, William Shakespeare. Perhaps you've heard of him. He wrote this play, Romeo and Juliet. Maybe you've heard of it as well. It's... Continue »

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1 Burnside Children's Middle Readers- General

Utterly Me Clarice Bean


Utterly Me Clarice Bean Cover




This is me, Clarice Bean.

I am not an only child, but I sometimes wish I was.

My family is six people, which is sometimes

too many. Not always, just sometimes.

My dad is mostly in an office on the phone, going, "I can't talk now — I'm up to my ears in it."

Mom is always gribbling about pants on the floor and shoes on the sofa. She says, "This house doesn't clean itself, you know.

"Who do you think does everything around here?

"Mr. Nobody?

"I don't get paid to pick up your smelly socks! If I did, I'd be a rich woman." etc. etc. non stop.

I am the third oldest, and I think it would have been a good idea if I was the youngest, too. I am not quite sure why my mom and dad wanted to have more children after me. They don't need another one and it's a shame because he is spoiling it for everyone else. He is called Minal Cricket and he tends to be utterly a nuisance. He is nonstop whining and causing other people to get themselves in trouble.

You might think it would be a relief to come to school, but if you do, then obviously you don't know some of the people in my class. Naming no names, i.e., Grace Grapello, what a showoff.

Sometimes I stare boredly into space, thinking utterly of nothing. This makes Mrs. Wilberton very irritated. I get on her nerves. I know this because she is always telling me I do.

To be honest, Mrs. Wilberton is not my favorite person on the planet of Earth. Unfortunately, I am from Earth and she is my teacher.


UTTERLY ME, CLARICE BEAN by Lauren Child. Copyright (c) 2003 by Lauren Child. Published by Candlewick Press, Inc., Cambridge, MA.

Product Details

Child, Lauren
Candlewick Press (MA)
Mysteries, Espionage, & Detective Stories
Family life
Humorous Stories
Children's 9-12 - Fiction - Mysteries / Detective
School & Education
Children s humor
fiction;mystery;family;friendship;humor;children;children s;girls;funny;friends;realistic fiction;juvenile fiction
Edition Description:
Trade paper
Clarice Bean
Publication Date:
Grade Level:
from 3 up to 7
7.05x5.76x.55 in. .40 lbs.
Age Level:

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Related Subjects

Children's » General
Children's » Humor
Children's » Middle Readers » General

Utterly Me Clarice Bean Used Trade Paper
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$3.95 In Stock
Product details 208 pages Candlewick Press (MA) - English 9780763627881 Reviews:
"Publishers Weekly Review" by , "Fans of Child's (Clarice Bean, That's Me; I Will Never Not Ever Eat a Tomato) irrepressible, impulsive picture-book heroine as well as kids who have not yet had the pleasure of making her acquaintance will devour her first chapter-book adventure. Liberally illustrated with collage art and told in a breezy, spontaneous first-person narrative that often weaves and winds around the pages, this makes an excellent first book for newly independent readers. Clarice Bean generously sprinkles her narrative with the word "utterly" as she relays the goings-on at school (she is entertainingly acerbic when dissing her intolerant teacher: and her nemesis Grace Grapello, who is "too utterly horrible") and at home (where her grandfather is taking in canine lodgers and her older brother finally pays attention to his personal hygiene when he begins courting their sister's friend). But Clarice Bean is primarily preoccupied with the book she is reading, starring Ruby Redfort, an 11-year-old "secret agent, undercover detective, and mystery solver," excerpts from which appear throughout the story. Inspired by Ruby, Clarice eagerly dives into the role of sleuth when the trophy that she hopes to win in a school competition goes missing. A spirited cast of supporting players gives the tale additional buoyancy. Once again, Clarice Bean is utterly a charmer. Ages 8-11." Publishers Weekly (Copyright Reed Business Information, Inc.)
"Synopsis" by , The acclaimed Child brings her trademark wacky wit and eccentric visual energy to this first full-length, fast paced, Clarice Bean episode.
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