Minecraft Adventures B2G1 Free
 
 

Special Offers see all

Enter to WIN a $100 Credit

Subscribe to PowellsBooks.news
for a chance to win.
Privacy Policy

Visit our stores


    Recently Viewed clear list


    The Powell's Playlist | August 11, 2015

    Felicia Day: IMG Felicia Day's Playlist for You're Never Weird on the Internet (Almost)



    These songs go along with some of the chapters in my book You're Never Weird on the Internet (Almost). Hope you enjoy! 1. "Sooner or Later" by... Continue »
    1. $18.19 Sale Hardcover add to wish list

    spacer
Qualifying orders ship free.
$3.95
List price: $8.99
Used Trade Paper
Ships in 1 to 3 days
Add to Wishlist
Qty Store Section
1 Beaverton Children's Middle Readers- Scary Stories
1 Burnside Children's Middle Readers- General

This title in other editions

Other titles in the Nathan Abercrombie, Accidental Zombie series:

Nathan Abercrombie, Accidental Zombie #1: My Rotten Life

by

Nathan Abercrombie, Accidental Zombie #1: My Rotten Life Cover

ISBN13: 9780765316349
ISBN10: 076531634x
Condition: Standard
All Product Details

Only 2 left in stock at $3.95!

 

 

Excerpt

Chapter One

Ouch

It's no fun having your heart ripped from your body, slammed to the floor, and stomped into a puddle of quivering red mush. It's even less fun when it happens three times in one afternoon.

First, Shawna Lanchester pranced up to me at lunch and said, "Did you know I'm having a Halloween party next Friday, Nathan?" She clutched her hands together like she was in danger of exploding from excitement.

I nodded, but I kept my mouth shut. I really didn't want to risk spraying Shawna with ketchup-coated hamburger particles. Girls are really weird about food once it's been chewed even a little bit. Especially girls who dress like they're about to pose for a magazine cover.

I knew about the party. The whole planet knew. Or, at least, the whole fifth grade. Shawna had a big Halloween party every year. I'd never been invited. Nobody at our table had ever been invited. I'd bet nobody at our table had ever talked with Shawna, either, even though we'd been in school together since kindergarten. I was making all sorts of history.

Shawna bounced on her heels. Her light-brown hair danced off her tanned shoulders. "Guess what?"

"Mmmmwwwtt?" That's how what sounds if you keep your lips pressed together when you talk. I tore my dull brown eyes away from Shawna's dazzling green ones just long enough to prove to myself what I'd suspected. Everyone was watching me. Mookie, Adam, Denali, and the other Second Besters at our pathetic table under the leak in the cafeteria ceiling were all staring at me like I'd just won the lottery, or the Super Bowl.

To my right, at least half the nerds had looked up from their chessboards, handheld games, and dungeon maps. To my left, the kids stuck at the Table of the Doomed were watching. Snail Girl—I didn't even know her real name—was staring at me over the top of her Sammy the Snail lunch box. As always, she was dressed in one of her endless snail shirts and wearing snail hair clips. Ferdinand Zweeler flinched when I caught his eye. Ferdinand was so frightened of everything, he should have been named Feardinand. Even weird Abigail, who came here last year from outer space—and still seems to live in deep space—had turned her head halfway in my direction.

The jocks, the skaters, and everyone else at all the large rectangular tables in the cafeteria were watching. I struggled to keep from grinning in triumph. Finally, the girl I'd had a crush on since third grade had noticed me. I wondered whether it was my new spiky haircut. Or the fact that I'd grown two inches over the summer. I snuck another glance at Mookie—the only person on the planet who knew how I felt. He flashed me a thumbs-up.

Shawna smiled. My heart melted.

Her teeth glistened. Her eyes sparkled. Her lips moved.

"You're not invited."

Rip. Slam. Stomp.

My heart splatted to the floor. It lay there, leaking across the tiles like a dropped scoop of raspberry sherbet.

Shawna spun away, grinding the remains of my heart under her heels. I tried to ignore the giggles that burst from Cydnie, Talissa, Bekkah, Lexi, and the other girls at her table, but I had a hard time swallowing.

I risked a quick glance around the cafeteria. The nerds had already gone back to slaying orcs and capturing castles. The jocks had gone back to punching one another. The Doomed were still staring. I guess it was a rare treat for them to see someone else get destroyed.

"Wow, that's totally cruel." Mookie pushed his glasses back up his nose, trapping some of the longer strands of his shaggy hair under the thick plastic frame. "I wonder why she picked you?"

I choked down the rest of my overchewed mouthful as I searched for an answer. "No idea. You'd think it would be enough for her to be popular, without having to crush the rest of us." I wanted to reach for my inhaler, but there was no way I was pulling it out right now.

"Popularity is overrated," Mookie said. "You don't have to be popular to have lots of friends."

Nobody bothered to answer him. We all knew the truth—in fifth grade, popularity was everything. As far as I could tell, part of popularity came from who you were, and part came from what you could do. Either way, the eight of us at the Second Besters table would score somewhere around minus two on a popularity scale of one to ten.

We were all second best—or maybe second worst—in some way. Mookie Vetch was the second-fattest kid in the fifth grade. I was the second-skinniest boy. Adam Kessler was the second-smartest kid, Denali Sherborg was the second-funniest girl, Jenny Chung was the second-best singer, Jerome Tully was the second-messiest kid, and Armando Cadiz was a triple-threat second bester who was the second-best dresser, the second-worst chatterbox, and the second-fastest reader in class.

The fattest kid, the skinniest boy, the funniest girl—they all had some kind of recognition that made them visible. Being second didn't mean anything. I guess it was sort of like being vice president. To tell the truth, Mookie wasn't all that fat, and I wasn't all that skinny. We pretty much weren't all that much of anything, except unnoticed.

"Typical bullying behavior," Adam said. "She's putting you down so she can feel better about herself."

"Thanks." I already knew that. Every kid who'd ever been picked on knew that. Our parents told us that. Our teachers told us that. Cute animated reptiles and vegetables on television told us that. It didn't help.

"I guess right now, she feels totally great about herself," Denali said.

The rest of the table laughed. I smiled, but it wasn't real.

When the bell rang, Mookie and I headed for gym. We had it three times a week, together with the boys from Mr. Walpole's home base. I'm not sure who decided it would be a great idea for kids to load up on grease-coated meat and deep-fried starch, topped off with a huge bowl of butterscotch pudding, and then do sit-ups. If I ever run into that genius, he's going to get kicked real hard in the stomach. Not that violence solves anything.

"Move it!" Mr. Lomux screamed as our class shuffled out the gym door toward the track. "We can't afford to waste time." Blue veins, like tiny candy worms, bulged on his shaved head.

"Seven?" I asked Mookie.

He squinted and started counting on his fingers. "I see eight."

"Oh, man—that's bad." We could always tell how angry Mr. Lomux was by counting veins. "I've never seen more than six." That was way back in third grade, when he'd made us do too many jumping jacks during a heat wave and half the class puked on the gym floor.

"I think he's stressed about field day," Mookie said.

"I heard that the school board is threatening to transfer him to the lower elementary school if he loses again." Our school, Belgosi Upper Elementary, had a big competition each year against Perrin Hall Academy in Hurston Lakes. The entire fifth grade of each school competed. They'd beaten us six times in a row. Hurston Lakes whomps our butts at everything. They have three elementary schools and at least five private schools.

East Craven is one of the smallest towns in New Jersey. All we have is Belgosi Upper and Borloff Lower. People keep moving out of town. Dad said it's all because of money. People who have a lot move to Hurston Lakes. People who want to spend less move across the river to Pennsylvania. Either way, people are leaving. Ours is the smallest fifth grade ever, with 144 kids in six classes.

"I need four captains," Mr. Lomux said. "We're going to break up into teams to practice."

A bunch of hands shot up.

"Pick me! Pick me!" Mookie screamed, waving his arms like he was trying to flag down an airplane.

A ninth vein appeared.

I didn't bother raising my hand. We're all supposed to get a chance to be a captain. But Mr. Lomux mostly picks the same sort of kids over and over. Today he picked Mort Ivanson, who's really fast; Rodney Mullasco, who's really big; and the Decker twins, who are the stars of the basketball team.

The four of them studied us like shoppers searching for the best melon in the supermarket. As their eyes flickered past me, I realized there was something much worse than not getting to be a captain.

I imagined myself standing alone on the edge of the field, watching everyone else join a team. Don't let me be picked last. Not today, when I was still waiting for my heart to crawl from the cafeteria floor and back through the gaping hole in my chest.

I tried to catch Mort's eye. He was the nicest of the four, and the only one I'd ever hung out with—even though it was way back in second grade. He looked at me and smiled. This was great. Maybe I'd be picked first for a change. That would help save this from being a totally rotten day.

The captains began making their picks. Mort pointed at me. I started to trot over to join him. Things were finally going my way.

Excerpted from MY ROTTEN LIFE by David Lubar
Copyright © 2009 by David Lubar
Published in August 2009 by Tom Doherty Associates, LLC

All rights reserved. This work is protected under copyright laws and reproduction is strictly prohibited. Permission to reproduce the material in any manner or medium must be secured from the Publisher.

What Our Readers Are Saying

Add a comment for a chance to win!
Average customer rating based on 1 comment:

ReadersEntertainment, September 29, 2009 (view all comments by ReadersEntertainment)
Nathan Abercrombie is a typical fifth-grader with ordinary fifth-grade problems: he is the second skinniest kid in school, which secures him a position at the “second-best” table with the other less popular students. He has issues with “catty,” more popular girls, overbearing bullies, and gym teachers. Life for Nathan is rough. So when his life's course is altered by his being exposed to an experimental serum that turns him into a zombie, he is not terribly bothered by the ordeal. After all, he has more time for video games, since he no longer requires sleep. And bullies will never be a problem for a kid who no longer experiences pain.
Being half-dead may not be that bad, and Nathan is even starting to become more popular at his school because of it. But what if he wanted to become human again? Is there even a way of returning to his real life from this half-dead life that he now calls his own? Find out in the first book from an all-new series from David Lubar, My Rotten Life: Nathan Abercrombie, Accidental Zombie.
David Lubar is an author whose work has been highly praised by reviewers of children's literature. His first novel, Hidden Talents, was an ALA Best Book for Young Adults, and his subsequents works have been well-received by young readers everywhere. This latest work deals with the hilarity and hijinks that are merely an integral part of childhood for so many. His latest novel is a delightful, comedic read best suited to middle grade readers.
Was this comment helpful? | Yes | No
(0 of 1 readers found this comment helpful)

Product Details

ISBN:
9780765316349
Author:
Lubar, David
Publisher:
Starscape Books
Author:
Baines, Nigel
Author:
McInerney, Kathleen
Author:
Brown, Matthew
Author:
Ghoulstone, Rotterly
Subject:
Science Fiction, Fantasy, & Magic
Subject:
Schools
Subject:
Self-confidence
Subject:
Fantasy & Magic
Subject:
Humorous Stories
Subject:
Experiments
Subject:
Action & Adventure - General
Subject:
General Juvenile Fiction
Subject:
Children s humor
Subject:
Boys / Men
Subject:
Action & Adventure
Copyright:
Edition Description:
Hardback
Series:
Undead Ed
Series Volume:
2
Publication Date:
20090831
Binding:
TRADE PAPER
Grade Level:
from 3 to 7
Language:
English
Illustrations:
3 cds, 3 hours
Pages:
208
Dimensions:
8.58 x 6.47 x 0.76 in
Age Level:
08-12

Other books you might like

  1. The Runaway Dolls Used Hardcover $8.50
  2. The Fire of Ares (Spartan Quest)
    Used Hardcover $8.95
  3. The Unknowns: A Mystery New Hardcover $17.95
  4. 43 Old Cemetery Road #02: Over My... Used Trade Paper $4.50
  5. Scooby-Doo! Readers: Level 2 #25:... New Trade Paper $3.99
  6. Secret of Zoom Used Trade Paper $3.50

Related Subjects


Children's » Action and Adventure » Adventure Stories
Children's » Humor
Children's » Middle Readers » General
Children's » Middle Readers » Scary Stories
Children's » Science Fiction and Fantasy » General

Nathan Abercrombie, Accidental Zombie #1: My Rotten Life Used Trade Paper
0 stars - 0 reviews
$3.95 In Stock
Product details 208 pages Starscape Books - English 9780765316349 Reviews:
"Publishers Weekly Review" by , "In the first book in the Nathan Abercrombie, Accidental Zombie series, fifth-grader Nathan knows what it's like to be an outcast: he sits at the Second Besters table at school with kids who 'score somewhere around minus two on a popularity scale of one to ten.' Then, he is doused with 'Hurt-Be-Gone, the world's first all-natural, totally safe emotion killer,' which turns him into an almost-zombie. Unable to sleep or feel pain, Nathan masters the toughest video game on the market and leads his school to a track meet victory by doing hundreds of pull-ups. Lubar (True Talents) entertains with a 'Wouldn't it be cool if...' kind of story that kids often try to write and especially love to read. Gross-out moments abound, such as when Nathan gets a fork stuck in his nose and later watches as his thumb pops off and is almost eaten by a dog. The over-the-top narrative will appeal to readers who like their humor twisted, and might even have some wishing that they, too, could be a half-dead zombie. Maybe. Ages 8 — 12." Publishers Weekly (Copyright Reed Business Information, Inc.)
"Synopsis" by ,
Weenies short story collection fans will love this first of a series of hilariously rotten adventures starring Nathan Abercrombie, Accidental Zombie.
"Synopsis" by ,
Being a zombie is no picnic, especially when your body is rotting right before your eyes. (Gross!)and#160;As if Ed Bagley didn't already have it bad enough, he's now being chased by a horde of demons sent by Kambo Cheapteeth, an undead circus clown whoandrsquo;s always angry.

With the help of his werewolf buddy, Max Moon, Ed ventures into the ultimate vortex of evil: a demon circus, to battle with Kambo once and for all! Along the way, he encountersand#160;an evil curse, a maze of mirrors, aand#160;giant spewing sewer creature, and a floating girl with a sewn-up eye whoandrsquo;s determined to destroy him.

and#160;
Can Ed hold it together (and keep from decomposing) long enough to stop the big top?

"Synopsis" by ,
Being undead is no walk in the park, especially when you've got four extra fingers with a mind of their own! 

In this third creepy installment, Ed must contend with a nemesis even scarier than an evil clown: the devil himself! Yes, the devil is the one pulling the strings on Ed's weird additional fingers, and Ed must pay him a visit if he ever hopes to be free. 

But the deeds of Ed's fingers have turned everyone in Mortlake against him. Can he win back his friends and make everything right again? 

Packed with hilarious black-and-white illustrations and spooky details, Ed's third adventure is his wildest ride yet!

spacer
spacer
  • back to top

FOLLOW US ON...

       
Powell's City of Books is an independent bookstore in Portland, Oregon, that fills a whole city block with more than a million new, used, and out of print books. Shop those shelves — plus literally millions more books, DVDs, and gifts — here at Powells.com.