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    Tim Johnston: IMG The Powell's Playlist: Songs for Not Sleeping by Tim Johnston



    I once told a medical-profession-type lady that I didn't sleep well, that I awoke all through the night and was awake for hours. "What do you do... Continue »
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      Descent

      Tim Johnston 9781616203047

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4 Remote Warehouse Humor- Anthologies

Boogers Are My Beat: More Lies, But Some Actual Journalism!

by

Boogers Are My Beat: More Lies, But Some Actual Journalism! Cover

 

 

Excerpt

A Wacky Path for Politics

Memo: ELECTION 2000

Before I analyze the presidential election, I want to make a statement, on behalf of South Florida, to the state and local candidates who ran all those TV ads, especially Elaine Bloom, Clay Shaw, Bill McCollum and Bill Nelson: We hope that you and all your media advisers rot in Campaign Hell, Okay? We hope that demons tape your eyelids open and force you to watch your own TV commercials. We hope that every thousand years, the demons hold an election to decide which one of you should be allowed to leave Campaign Hell, and the winner is always: None of the Above.

There! I feel better! Now, let's analyze the presidential election. As you can imagine, I was up all night scrutinizing the returns. (NOTE TO

Product Details

ISBN:
9781400080762
Author:
Barry, Dave
Publisher:
Three Rivers Press (CA)
Illustrator:
Cassatt & Brookins
Illustrator:
MacNelly, Jeff
Subject:
American wit and humor
Subject:
Form - Essays
Subject:
Essays
Subject:
Humor-Anthologies
Subject:
humor;essays;non-fiction;journalism
Edition Description:
Trade paper
Publication Date:
20040931
Binding:
TRADE PAPER
Grade Level:
General/trade
Language:
English
Illustrations:
10 LINE DRAWINGS
Pages:
256
Dimensions:
8.04x5.24x.56 in. .44 lbs.

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Related Subjects

Arts and Entertainment » Humor » Anthologies
History and Social Science » Journalism » Journalists

Boogers Are My Beat: More Lies, But Some Actual Journalism! New Trade Paper
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Product details 256 pages Three Rivers Press (CA) - English 9781400080762 Reviews:
"Review" by , "Barry has never been as funny as he is in this rip-roaring, hilarious new collection of columns....Whether funny or serious, Barry is always on target. This work on the 'booger beat' is nothing short of excellent."
"Synopsis" by , US
"Synopsis" by , The New York Times calls him “the funniest man in America,” and his legions of fans agree, laughing and snorting as they put his books on bestseller lists nationwide.

In Boogers Are My Beat, Dave gives us the real scoop on:

• The scientific search for the worlds funniest joke (you can bet it includes the word “weasel”)

• RV camping in the Wal-Mart parking lot

• Outwitting “smart” kitchen appliances and service contracts

• Elections in Florida (“You cant spell Florida without ‘duh”)

• The Olympics, where people from all over the world come together to accuse each other of cheating

• The truth about the Dakotas, the Lone Ranger, and feng shui

• The choice between death and taxes

And much, much moreincluding some truths about journalism and serious thoughts about 9/11.

Dave Barry won the Pulitzer Prize for commentary in 1988, and his columns are syndicated in more than 500 newspapers. His most recent books, Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down and the novels Big Trouble and Tricky Business, were national bestsellers. He lives in Miami, Floriduh.

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