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This title in other editions

Why Do Men Have Nipples?: Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini

by and

Why Do Men Have Nipples?: Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini Cover

ISBN13: 9781400082315
ISBN10: 1400082315
Condition: Standard
All Product Details

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Excerpt

CHAPTER 1: YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT

It's 10 P.M., and my partner in writing and crime, Mark Leyner, and I are late as usual, but the party is in full swing. We brought a bottle of Don Julio tequila, which Leyner sampled voraciously in the cab, insisting that it needed to be screened for industrial toxins. We enter the elegantly appointed Park Avenue home of Eloise Cameron, a philanthropist, patron of the arts, and Botox junkie. Hors d'oeuvres are being served and the slightly inebriated and flush-faced Leyner grabs a mouthful of Swedish meatballs, proceeds to kiss our hostess, and then comments, "Eloise, baby, better lay off the collagen. Kissing those lips is like making out with the Michelin man." She attempts to smirk with disdain, but the Botox leaves her face impassive.

I corral Leyner and we proceed into the living room. No sooner have we entered when I'm embraced from behind. I turn around and it's Jeremy Burns, an investment banker who sits two rows behind me at the Knicks games. Jeremy is well known to the Madison Square Garden food vendors for his insatiable appetite for hot dogs, cotton candy, and beer. He is now almost unrecognizable in his new Atkins-induced skeletonlike state. "Who exhumed you?" Leyner belches. I am overcome by embarrassment but secretly wetting myself with laughter. Jeremy tries to sidestep Leyner and as their arms brush, Leyner is covered with the grease that now oozes from Jeremy's pores. Leyner whispers to me, "This dude is all greased up like a rectal thermometer." I push Leyner away and he uses this opportunity to sneak over to the bar for another blast of Don Julio. I am left with Jeremy and his insufferable stories about life on the meat and fat diet, and a million medical questions about food.

If we are what we eat, why do we know so little about food and nutrition?

DOES IT REALLY TAKE SEVEN YEARS TO DIGEST CHEWING GUM?

What is it with seven years? You break a mirror, seven years of bad luck. Each dog year is seven human years. Seven years to digest swallowed gum? What if a dog broke a mirror then swallowed a pack of gum? Sounds like an algebra problem.

Chewing gum is not digestible but it definitely doesn't sit in your stomach for years. Gum actually might help things move through the bowels faster. Sorbitol is sometimes used as a sweetener in gum and this can act as a laxative. What does this mean? Yes, if you look carefully, you should see it floating next to all of those lovely yellow corn kernels.

WHY DOES YOUR PEE SMELL WHEN YOU EAT ASPARAGUS?

Asparagus contains a sulfur compound called mercaptan. It is also found in onions, garlic, rotten eggs, and in the secretions of skunks. The signature smell occurs when this substance is broken down in your digestive system. Not all people have the gene for the enzyme that breaks down mercaptan, so some of you can eat all the asparagus you want without stinking up the place. One study published in the British Journal of Clinical Pharmacology found that only 46 percent of British people tested produced the odor while 100 percent of French people tested did. Insert your favorite French joke here________________________________.

WHAT CAUSES AN ICE CREAM HEADACHE?

Aaaah, the joy of a Popsicle on a hot summer day.

One theory places the source for the brain freeze in the sinuses, where the pain may be caused by the rapid cooling of air in the frontal sinuses. This triggers local pain receptors.

Another theory postulates that the constriction of blood vessels in the roof and rear of the mouth causes pain receptors to overload and refer the pain to your head. There is a nerve center there, in the back of your mouth, called the sphenopalatine ganglion, and this is the most likely source of the dreaded ice cream headache.

A friend of ours suggested a quick cure of rapidly rubbing your tongue on the roof of your mouth to warm it up. Her demonstration included a bizarre clucking sound. Leyner tried this and found himself followed by a large goose of whom he seems to have become inordinately fond.

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Average customer rating based on 2 comments:

seldombites, December 21, 2011 (view all comments by seldombites)
This book is both amusing and informative. A few of the questions weren't really fully answered to my satisfaction, but I did pick up quite a few fun facts. I found the chat intermissions a little annoying at first, but I soon grew used to them and relaxed into the humour break. This book is well worth reading and I will be looking up their other books at some point in the future.
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Julie Anderson, September 1, 2008 (view all comments by Julie Anderson)
I picked this book up a couple of years ago because the title was just too good to pass up. "Why Do Men Have Nipples? Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini" was a quick and hilarious read. Fascinating questions like "Why does sweat stink and stain?" and "Why do people seem more attractive to you when you are drunk?" are just two of the burning questions presented. Surprisingly enough, the answers (OK MOST of the answers) are truly given from the medical point of view.

After reading this book, I can only wonder at the parties the author/s have been going to. Of course, having occasionally (in the far, far past of course) fallen victim to tipsy (OK, drunken) ponderings, maybe I can understand...but I would hope I'd never ask a stranger. If you enjoy this book (and I certainly did, as did my teenagers) then you need to pick up the sequel "Why Do Men Fall Asleep After Sex? More Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Whiskey Sour."
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Product Details

ISBN:
9781400082315
Author:
Mark Leyner and Billy Goldberg
Publisher:
Three Rivers Press (CA)
Author:
Leyner, Mark
Author:
Goldberg, Billy MD
Author:
Goldberg, William
Author:
Billy Goldberg, M.D.
Author:
Goldberg, Billy
Author:
Abrams, Dan
Author:
Mark Leyner and Billy Goldberg, MD
Subject:
General
Subject:
Medicine
Subject:
Questions & Answers
Subject:
Topic - Adult
Subject:
General Reference
Subject:
General Humor
Subject:
Gender Studies
Subject:
Humor : General
Copyright:
Edition Description:
Trade paper
Publication Date:
July 26, 2005
Binding:
TRADE PAPER
Grade Level:
General/trade
Language:
English
Pages:
224
Dimensions:
7.00 x 5.50 in

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Related Subjects

Arts and Entertainment » Humor » General
Arts and Entertainment » Humor » Table
Arts and Entertainment » Humor » Trivia
Health and Self-Help » Health and Medicine » Anatomy and Physiology
Health and Self-Help » Health and Medicine » General
Health and Self-Help » Health and Medicine » General Medicine
Health and Self-Help » Health and Medicine » Medical Specialties
Health and Self-Help » Health and Medicine » Reference
Reference » Trivia

Why Do Men Have Nipples?: Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini Used Trade Paper
0 stars - 0 reviews
$3.95 In Stock
Product details 224 pages Three Rivers Press (CA) - English 9781400082315 Reviews:
"Publishers Weekly Review" by , "Urban legends and perennial wonders get a witty treatment in this lighthearted guide to largely inconsequential yet intriguing aspects of the human body. Leyner, a novelist whose writing appears regularly in the New Yorker and GQ, and New York physician Goldberg address food and the body (does coffee stunt your growth?), 'body oddities' (what are goose bumps?), folk remedies (does breast milk cure warts?), drugs (does marijuana help glaucoma?), bathroom humor (why can you ignite a fart?), medical media (is the show ER accurate?), old wives tales (can lip balm be addictive?) and aging (why do old ladies grow beards?). And then there's the sex chapter-definitely the one where the subtitle is most applicable, with questions like 'can people in wheelchairs still have sex?' and 'do the kind of underpants men wear affect their fertility?' The book includes e-mail interactions between the authors, which are sometimes funny. Some of the authors' answers are unsatisfactory and, as a whole, this is much more of a humor book than a health one. The truly curious will find better, more in-depth answers on medical Web sites, but those looking for a good laugh will have some fun with this book." Publishers Weekly (Copyright Reed Business Information, Inc.)
"Synopsis" by , Do microwaves cause cancer? Is it bad to crack your knuckles? Written by a top physician and a top-notch humorist, this fascinating, silly, and downright educational reference book sets the record straight on the myriad folk remedies, urban legends, and "proven cures" that everybody's heard about.
"Synopsis" by , Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, everyone is familiar with the tired clichés: women are bad drivers and are not good with money; only guys play video games and they give bad directions. Dan Abrams tackles the toughest case of his career in Man Down. Drawing on years of legal experience and research studies, Abrams explains step-by-step why women are better than men in just about every way imaginable, from managing money to flying planes to living longer. Abrams uses his trademark charm to get his point across without opining on the issue himself. Chock-full of fun facts and conversation starters, this book may not end the debate of men versus women, but it will definitely make it more interesting.

 

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