Poetry Madness
 
 

Recently Viewed clear list


Original Essays | April 11, 2014

Paul Laudiero: IMG Shit Rough Draft



I was sitting in a British and Irish romantic drama class my last semester in college when the idea for Shit Rough Drafts hit me. I was working... Continue »
  1. $9.07 Sale Trade Paper add to wish list

spacer
Qualifying orders ship free.
$7.95
List price: $15.00
Used Trade Paper
Ships in 1 to 3 days
Add to Wishlist
Qty Store Section
3 Beaverton Music- Rock Biography
1 Hawthorne Music- Rock Biography

Crazy Enough

by

Crazy Enough Cover

ISBN13: 9781439192412
ISBN10: 1439192413
Condition: Standard
All Product Details

 

 

Excerpt

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

People think I’m nuts. They think that I am a killer, a badass, and a dangerous woman. They think that I am a boot-stomping, man-chomping rock ’n’ roll sex thug with heavy leather straps on my well-notched bedposts and a line around the block of challengers vying for a ride between my crushing thighs, many of whom won’t survive the encounter.

That’s what I like people to think, anyway. Some actually buy it. My manufactured mythology had begun on stage in San Francisco, and was full-on folklore here in Portland. My band, The Balls, had become a wild success over the past three years, and we packed a downtown club called Dante’s once a week, as well as clubs throughout the west coast from Seattle to San Diego. My sex thuggery is reserved for only one man, however. And though we fuck like we just got out of prison, home life is domestic. I help with the care and feeding of my boyfriend’s young son, cutting off crusts, giving back tickles. I even own an apron.

Despite my disenchanting normality, however, I get to sing for a living, drink free most places, and I get laid regularly. Life is good.

And now it’s Christmas time, so I’m all extra everything with good cheer. December in Portland can be a dreary spectacle. Right around Halloween, a big chilly sog plops its fat ass over the Pacific Northwest and stays parked there until Independence Day. Even in the gray, spitting rain, however, I’m all atwinkle, heading to Hawthorne Boulevard to skip through herds of wet hippies to Christmas shop. And even though I find those pube farmers highly irritating, I am humming “In Excelsis Deo” and in love with the world, so fuck ’em.

Hawthorne is a main thoroughfare in southeast Portland where, on one block, you can buy a latte, Indonesian end tables, pants for your cat, a vinyl corset, or a two-hundred-dollar T-shirt. It’s a great place to find perfect gifts for the loved ones in your life, and I am going to buy the greatest Christmas gift ever.

“The Greatest Gift of All”: I hear my little fourth-grade voice trilling in my memory bank. It was in a school Christmas play and was the first solo I ever took on stage. It was also one of the few times my mom saw me sing in front of a real audience.

“The greatest giiift of aaall . . . it can come from aaany wheeere!” I sang the heck out of it, if memory serves.

My mom had started beading and was taking it very seriously. She was selling pieces on eBay—seriously—so I’m headed to a store called Beads Forever to get her some killer imported beads, maybe some semiprecious stones. I have a vision of getting her a badass assortment and putting them in a cool, funky box. It’s the first Christmas gift I will buy for her in maybe ten years, and it will be perfect.

“Per-fect!” I sing in a fake opera voice.

I see the store ahead through my swishing windshield wipers and, “Fuckyouuu!!” I sing in triumph, to no one, as there is a perfect parking space directly in front of the store. “ Rock-star fucking parking!” I pull up, swoosh my wet car into the spot, throw it into park and my phone rings. The little lit-up window reads “BDLarge.”

“Dad? Hey, Dad.”

“Hi, sweetie.” His voice sounds heavy.

“What’s wrong?”

He sighed. Someone must’ve died. My grandmother. Neeny. God, at Christmas we lose Neeny Cat?

“Dad?”

“Your mom died last night.”

What?

“Who?” His mom. Neeny. Ninety-four, lost her mind when her husband of sixty-odd years passed.

“Your ma.”

“Who?” More sighing. Why the fuck is he sighing so much? Should I get out of the car?

“Your ma. Your mom died last night. They don’t know what happened yet sweetie, but . . .”

I’m literally looking into the store where I’m going to get her Christmas gift. Should I still? My hand is on the door, my car is parked . . . rock-star parking and the best gift ever. No. I say no to this. My dad says something about having to call my brothers and will I be okay? He’ll call me back right away. Love you. Bye.

Love you. Bye.

It’s dark and raining but people can still see into the car, and I must look crazy. I grab the steering wheel with both hands and suddenly I’m sobbing, screaming at the gauges. What the fuck to do? Where do I go, home? I can’t see. I can’t drive. I call my boyfriend at work.

“Hi. Can you come get me? My mom is dead and I’m on Hawthorne.”

She’s gone.

My first thought. She is gone. Not my first thought. No. Fucking no.

I’m thrashing around inside my body. What the fuck do I do?

What am I thinking? No. I peel my mind away like a child turning its face from a tablespoon of cough syrup. No. My first thought. My first?

Thank God. Thank God she’s gone.

“Thank God she’s gone.”

© 2012 Storm Large

What Our Readers Are Saying

Add a comment for a chance to win!
Average customer rating based on 1 comment:

Angie Kopshy, December 19, 2012 (view all comments by Angie Kopshy)
As a Portlander, a singer/songwriter and a music therapist familiar with some of the challenges of mental health, I found this book riveting.
Large writes in a style that is easy to read and brutally honest. As she shared the story of her life, the manner in which she described incidents from her perspective in that moment before ultimately reflecting upon her life in the present moment, was truly brilliant. I highly recommend this book!
Was this comment helpful? | Yes | No
(1 of 1 readers found this comment helpful)

Product Details

ISBN:
9781439192412
Author:
Large, Storm
Publisher:
Free Press
Subject:
Biography - General
Copyright:
Edition Description:
Trade paper
Publication Date:
20121131
Binding:
TRADE PAPER
Language:
English
Pages:
288
Dimensions:
8.44 x 5.5 in

Other books you might like

  1. With a Little Luck Used Trade Paper $5.50
  2. Exes and Ohs: A Downtown Girl's... Used Trade Paper $7.95

Related Subjects

» Arts and Entertainment » Art » Sale Books
» Arts and Entertainment » Music » Genres and Styles » Pop Vocal
» Arts and Entertainment » Music » Genres and Styles » Rock » Biographies
» Arts and Entertainment » Sale Books
» BLOCKED
» Biography » Composers and Musicians
» Biography » General
» Featured Titles » Biography
» Featured Titles » New Arrivals
» Fiction and Poetry » Literature » A to Z
» Health and Self-Help » Psychology » General
» Health and Self-Help » Psychology » Schizophrenia and Psychotic Disorders

Crazy Enough Used Trade Paper
0 stars - 0 reviews
$7.95 In Stock
Product details 288 pages Free Press - English 9781439192412 Reviews:
"Review" by , "Storm Large is an irresistibly rambunctious force of nature. Crazy Enough is shattering, gorgeous and uproarious fun."
"Review" by , "Storm Large has written a bodacious book, buy it, now!"
"Review" by , “Like some twisted love child of Mae West and Keith Richards, Storm Large is a force of nature. Her ballsy, heartbreaking, hysterical tour de force of a memoir is not to be missed. Crazy Enough is vulgar and fragile, tragic and empowering, and like Storm, it is always entertaining.”
"Review" by , "With cleverness and honesty, she transforms a story that in most hands would be maudlin into yet another funny, passionate, and irreverently jarring adventure."
"Review" by , "Best recognized as a contender on Rock Star: Supernova, Large has the heart of a true exhibitionist...this project marks her first literary foray, and her memoir pulls no punches. A no-holds-barred coming-of-age story replete with mental illness, drugs and sex."
"Review" by , "We're in complete awe of the blunt, surprisingly memoir...told in honest, poignant prose... [Large shows] all of us how to let go — not without fear and doubt, but with it."
"Review" by , "Storm Large performs with world-class symphonies and hard core rock bands...and she's written a book worthy of both audiences. If good writing is about taking chances and pushing readers to the edge, then this is a chart buster...as she takes us on a wild and sometimes painful ride into her world of crazy."
"Review" by , "A memoir that reads like an in-your-face mashup of Augusten Burroughs and Chelsea Handler, combining raw humor and an understandable bitterness with more than than a few oversexed anecdotes. Though not for the faint of heart, Crazy Enough proves to be a readable account of one woman's descent into madness — and back out again."
"Review" by , "Frank, funny, and caustically un-self-pitying"
"Review" by , "It's too bad that readers can't have her actually in their lives and feel the true force of Storm, but her book is so true to who she is that it is still a powerful, funny, and outrageous experience. Plus, you won't have to deal with all of those strange sounds and dirty sheets."
"Synopsis" by , Yes, Storm Large is her real name, though she's been called many things. As a performer, the majority of descriptions have led with “Amazon,” “powerhouse,” “a six-foot Vargas pinup come to life.” Playboy called her a “punk goddess.” You'd never know she used to be called “Little S” — the mini-me to her beautiful and troubled mother, Suzi.

Little S spent most of her childhood visiting her mother in mental institutions and psych wards. Suzi's diagnosis changed with almost every doctors visit, ranging from schizophrenia to bipolar disorder to multiple personality disorder to depression. One day, nine-year-old Little S jokingly asked one of her mother's doctors, “I'm not going to be crazy like that, right?” To which he replied, “Well, yes. It's hereditary. You absolutely will end up like your mother. But not until your twenties.”

Storm's story of growing up with a mental time bomb hanging over her veers from frightening to inspiring, sometimes all in one sentence. But her strength, charisma, and raw musical talent gave her the will to overcome it all. Crazy Enough is a love song to the twisted, flawed parts in all of us.

spacer
spacer
  • back to top
Follow us on...




Powell's City of Books is an independent bookstore in Portland, Oregon, that fills a whole city block with more than a million new, used, and out of print books. Shop those shelves — plus literally millions more books, DVDs, and gifts — here at Powells.com.