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1 Beaverton SF- CRITICISM

So Now You're a Zombie: A Handbook for the Newly Undead

by

So Now You're a Zombie: A Handbook for the Newly Undead Cover

 

Synopses & Reviews

Publisher Comments:

All aspects of the zombie lifestyle are surveyed in this satirical take on an orientation manual for the newly undead. From how one became a zombie in the first place and the stages of zombification to survival mechanisms, this handbook offers specific advice on everything a fresh zombie needs to know about "life" expectancy, hunting techniques, hitching a ride, hand-to-mouth combat, and feeding etiquette. Instructions for extracting the living from boarded up farmhouses and broken down vehicles are included along with dozens of helpful diagrams outlining attack strategies such as the Ghoul Reach, the Flanking Zak, the Bite Hold, and the Aerial Fall for securing human prey and their all-important flesh and brains.

Being undead can be disorienting. Your arms and other appendages tend to rot and fall off. Its difficult to communicate with a vocabulary limited to moans and gurgles. And that smell! (Yes, its you.) But most of all, you must constantly find and ingest human brains. Braaaains!!!

            Whats a zombie to do?

            Thankfully, zombiologist John Austin details everything you need to know, as a newly undead soul, to hunt, fight, and feed on the living. As the first handbook written specifically for the undead, So Now Youre a Zombie explains how you ended up in this predicament, the stages of zombification, and what you need to survive in this zombiphobic world. Dozens of helpful diagrams outline attack strategies, such as the Ghoul Reach, the Flanking Zack, the Bite Hold, and the Aerial Fall, to secure your human prey. Youll even learn how to successfully extract the living from boarded up farmhouses and broken down vehicles.

            This handbook also explores the upside of being a zombie. Gone are the burdens of employment, taxes, social networks, even basic hygiene, allowing you to focus on simple necessities in “life”: the juicy gray matter found in the skulls of the living.

Review:

"There is more to undeath than shambling around in search of brains to eat, but not much more, according to this short but detailed look at the new zombie, or 'zed,' lifestyle. Filled with deadpan tips on how to succeed in the coming zombie apocalypse, it covers the basics of caring for decomposing flesh ('If you experience an extreme freeze... your extremities should continue to function until they fall off'), practical suggestions for overcoming obstacles, and instructions for attacking the living ('The only thing more lethal than you is you on fire!'). The blood-splattered pages contain copious diagrams, such as a zombie food pyramid, pie charts of infection methods, and instructions for operating doorknobs. The illustrations are as grossly explicit as the text is employee-handbook underplayed, making this an excellent choice for the zombie completist. (Oct.)" Publishers Weekly (Copyright PWyxz LLC)

Synopsis:

Being undead can be disorienting. Your arms and other appendages tend to rot and fall off. Its difficult to communicate with a vocabulary limited to moans and gurgles. And that smell! (Yes, its you.) But most of all, you must constantly find and ingest human brains. Braaaains!!!

            Whats a zombie to do?

            Thankfully, zombiologist John Austin details everything you need to know, as a newly undead soul, to hunt, fight, and feed on the living. As the first handbook written specifically for the undead, So Now Youre a Zombie explains how you ended up in this predicament, the stages of zombification, and what you need to survive in this zombiphobic world. Dozens of helpful diagrams outline attack strategies, such as the Ghoul Reach, the Flanking Zack, the Bite Hold, and the Aerial Fall, to secure your human prey. Youll even learn how to successfully extract the living from boarded up farmhouses and broken down vehicles.

            This handbook also explores the upside of being a zombie. Gone are the burdens of employment, taxes, social networks, even basic hygiene, allowing you to focus on simple necessities in “life”: the juicy gray matter found in the skulls of the living.

About the Author

John Austin is the author of MiniWeapons of Mass Destruction, Cubical Warfare, and Prank University. For more information, visit
http://www.johnaustinbooks.com/zombie.html 

Product Details

ISBN:
9781569763421
Author:
Austin, John
Publisher:
Chicago Review Press
Subject:
General
Subject:
General Humor
Subject:
HUMOR / Parodies
Edition Description:
Trade Paper
Publication Date:
20101031
Binding:
TRADE PAPER
Language:
English
Pages:
224
Dimensions:
9.00 x 6.00 in

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Related Subjects

Arts and Entertainment » Humor » Parodies
Fiction and Poetry » Science Fiction and Fantasy » Anthologies
Fiction and Poetry » Science Fiction and Fantasy » Criticism
Fiction and Poetry » Science Fiction and Fantasy » Featured Titles

So Now You're a Zombie: A Handbook for the Newly Undead Used Trade Paper
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$7.95 In Stock
Product details 224 pages Chicago Review Press - English 9781569763421 Reviews:
"Publishers Weekly Review" by , "There is more to undeath than shambling around in search of brains to eat, but not much more, according to this short but detailed look at the new zombie, or 'zed,' lifestyle. Filled with deadpan tips on how to succeed in the coming zombie apocalypse, it covers the basics of caring for decomposing flesh ('If you experience an extreme freeze... your extremities should continue to function until they fall off'), practical suggestions for overcoming obstacles, and instructions for attacking the living ('The only thing more lethal than you is you on fire!'). The blood-splattered pages contain copious diagrams, such as a zombie food pyramid, pie charts of infection methods, and instructions for operating doorknobs. The illustrations are as grossly explicit as the text is employee-handbook underplayed, making this an excellent choice for the zombie completist. (Oct.)" Publishers Weekly (Copyright PWyxz LLC)
"Synopsis" by ,

Being undead can be disorienting. Your arms and other appendages tend to rot and fall off. Its difficult to communicate with a vocabulary limited to moans and gurgles. And that smell! (Yes, its you.) But most of all, you must constantly find and ingest human brains. Braaaains!!!

            Whats a zombie to do?

            Thankfully, zombiologist John Austin details everything you need to know, as a newly undead soul, to hunt, fight, and feed on the living. As the first handbook written specifically for the undead, So Now Youre a Zombie explains how you ended up in this predicament, the stages of zombification, and what you need to survive in this zombiphobic world. Dozens of helpful diagrams outline attack strategies, such as the Ghoul Reach, the Flanking Zack, the Bite Hold, and the Aerial Fall, to secure your human prey. Youll even learn how to successfully extract the living from boarded up farmhouses and broken down vehicles.

            This handbook also explores the upside of being a zombie. Gone are the burdens of employment, taxes, social networks, even basic hygiene, allowing you to focus on simple necessities in “life”: the juicy gray matter found in the skulls of the living.

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