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A Complicated Kindness: A Novel


A Complicated Kindness: A Novel Cover

ISBN13: 9781582433226
ISBN10: 1582433224
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I live with my father, Ray Nickel, in that low brick bungalow out on highway number twelve. Blue shutters, brown door, one shattered window. Nothing great. The furniture keeps disappearing, though. That keeps things interesting.

Half of our family, the better-looking half, is missing. Ray and I get up in the morning and move through our various activities until it?s time to go to bed. Every single night around ten o?clock Ray tells me that he?s hitting the hay. Along the way to his bedroom he?ll stop in the front hallway and place notes on top of his shoes to remind him of the things he has to do the next day. We enjoy staring at the Northern Lights together. I told him, verbatim, what Mr. Quiring told us in class. About how those lights work. He thought Mr. Quiring had some interesting points. He?s always been mildly interested in Mr. Quiring?s opinions, probably because he?s also a teacher.

I have assignments to complete. That?s the word, complete. I?ve got a problem with endings. Mr. Quiring has told me that essays and stories generally come, organically, to a preordained ending that is quite out of the writer?s control. He says we will know it when it happens, the ending. I don?t know about that. I feel that there are so many to choose from. I?m already anticipating failure. That much I?ve learned to do. But then what the hell will it matter to me while I?m snapping tiny necks and chucking feathery corpses onto a conveyor belt in a dimly lit cinder-block slaughterhouse on the edge of a town not of this world. Most of the kids from around here will end up working at Happy Family Farms, where local chickens go to meet their maker. I?m sixteen now, young to be on the verge of graduating from high school, and only months away from taking my place on the assembly line of death.

One of my recurring memories of my mother, Trudie Nickel, has to do with the killing of fowl. She and I were standing in this farmyard watching Carson and his dad chop heads off chickens. You?d know Carson if you saw him. Carson Enns. Arm-farter in the back row. President of the Pervert Club. Says he?s got a kid in Pansy, a small town south of here. Troubled boy, but that?s no wonder considering he used to be The Snowmobile Suit Killer. I was eight and Trudie was about thirty-five. She was wearing a red wool coat and moon boots. The ends of her hair were frozen because she hadn?t been able to find the blow-dryer that morning. Look, she?d said. She grabbed a strand of hair and bent it like a straw. She?d given me her paisley scarf to tie around my ears. I don?t know exactly what we were doing at Carson?s place in the midst of all that carnage, it hadn?t started out that way I?m pretty sure, but I guess carnage has a way of creeping up on you. Carson was my age and every time he swung the axe he?d yell things at the chicken. He wanted it to escape. Run, you stupid chicken! Carson, his dad would say. Just his name and a slight anal shake of the head. He was doing his best to nurture the killer in his son. It was around 4:30 in the afternoon on a winter day and the light was fading into blue and it was snowing horizontally and we were all standing under a huge yellow yard light. Well, some of us were dying. And Carson was doing this awful botch job on a chicken, hacking away at its neck, not doing it right at all, whispering instructions on how to escape. Fly away, idiot. Don?t make me do this. Poor kid. By this time he?d unzipped the top half of his snowmobile suit so it kind of flapped around his waist like a skirt, slowing him down, and his dad saw him and came over and grabbed the semi-mutilated chicken out of Carson?s little mittened hand and slapped it onto this wooden altar thing he used to do the killing and brought his axe down with incredible speed and accuracy and in less than a second had created a splattery painting in the snow and I was blown away by how the blood could land so fast and without a single sound and my mom gasped and said look, Nomi, it?s a Jackson Pollock. Oh, it?s beautiful. Oh, she said, cloths of heaven. That was something she said a lot. And Carson and I stood there staring at the blood on the snow and my mom said: Just like that. Who knew it could be so easy.

I don?t know if she meant it?s so easy to make art or it?s so easy to kill a chicken or it?s so easy to die. Every single one of those things strikes me as being difficult to do. I imagine that if she were here right now and I was asking her what she meant, she?d say what are you talking about and I?d say nothing and that would be the end of it.

It?s only because she?s gone that all those trivial little things from the past echo on and on and on. At dinner that night, after the slaughter at Carson?s place, she asked us how we would feel if for some reason we were all in comas and had slept right through the summer months and had woken up around the middle of November, would we be angry that we had missed the warmth and beauty of the summer or happy that we had survived. Ray, who hates choosing, had asked her if we couldn?t be both and she?d said no, she didn?t think so.

Trudie doesn?t live here any more. She left shortly after Tash, my older sister, left. Ray and I don?t know where either one of them is. We do know that Tash left with Ian, who is Mr. Quiring?s nephew. He?s double-jointed and has a red Ford Econoline van. Trudie seems to have left alone.

Now my dad, you know what he says in the middle of those long evenings sitting in our house on the highway? He says: Say, Nomi, how about spinning a platter. Yeah, he uses those exact butt-clenching words. Which means he wants to listen to Anne Murray singing ?Snowbird,? again. Or my old Terry Jacks forty-five of ?Seasons in the Sun.? I used to play that song over and over in the dark when I was nine, the year I really became aware of my existence. What a riot. We have a ball. Recently, Ray?s been using the word stomach as a verb a lot. And also the word rally. We rally and we stomach. Ray denied it when I pointed it out to him. He says we?re having a good time and getting by. Why shouldn?t he amend? He tells me that life is filled with promise but I think he means the promise of an ending because so far I haven?t been able to put my finger on any other. If we could get out of this town things might be better but we can?t because we?re waiting for Trudie and Tash to come back. It?s been three years so far. My period started the day after Trudie left which means I?ve bled thirty-six times since they?ve been gone.

Excerpted from A Complicated Kindness by Miriam Toews Copyright © 2004 by Miriam Toews. Excerpted by permission of Knopf Canada, a division of Random House of Canada Limited. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.

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Nancy London, February 27, 2015 (view all comments by Nancy London)
I loved the author's latest book All My Puny Sorrows so I decided to backtrack and read an earlier one. The heroine, Nomi, is 16, coming of age in a small Mennonite community in Canada, full of confusion and grief over the disappearance of her mother and sister, caring for her odd duck father, trying out sex, drowning in drugs. Her voice is heartbreaking, hilarious, bitter, wise. Toews kind of rambles, but always knows where she is going.
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brookshelley, October 27, 2014 (view all comments by brookshelley)
Amazing and sad novel about growing up isolated and different from those around you. Miriam captures the complicated emotions surrounding religious communities and teenage rebellion in this novel. Highly recommended.
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Mari0003, November 20, 2006 (view all comments by Mari0003)
A novel reflecting on the life of a rebellious teenage Mennonite girl who wants only to be "free". Every act of complicated kindness presented through this novel impacts both the giver and receiver. These acts tend to have terrible outcomes despite the good intentions. Reading between the lines is the only way these acts can be seen; in this piece of fiction and in our own lives. Even when all seems lost and forgotten there is still a type of heartfelt complicated kindness seen through the eyes of those who know us.
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Product Details

Toews, Miriam
Counterpoint LLC
Fathers and daughters
Teenage girls
Domestic fiction
Literature-A to Z
Edition Description:
Trade Paper
Publication Date:
September 2005
Grade Level:
8 x 5.33 in 10 oz

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A Complicated Kindness: A Novel New Trade Paper
0 stars - 0 reviews
$19.25 In Stock
Product details 264 pages Counterpoint Press - English 9781582433226 Reviews:
"Staff Pick" by ,

Sharp and often howlingly funny — but insistently generous — A Complicated Kindness introduces sixteen-year-old Nomi Nickel, straining under the pressure of family, boys, and authority, common enough conflicts drawn here in extravagant, heartrending detail.

"Staff Pick" by ,

This is simply the funniest, sweetest, coolest book of 2004. If you like Canadian Mennonites, you'll love A Complicated Kindness.

"Publishers Weekly Review" by , "A 16-year-old rebels against the conventions of her strict Mennonite community and tries to come to terms with the collapse of her family in this insightful, irreverent coming-of-age novel. In bleak rural Manitoba, Nomi longs for her older sister, Tash ('she was so earmarked for damnation it wasn't even funny'), and mother, Trudie, each of whom has recently fled fundamentalist Christianity and their town. Her gentle, uncommunicative father, Ray, isn't much of a sounding board as Nomi plunges into bittersweet memory and grapples with teenage life in a 'kind of a cult with pretend connections to some normal earthly conventions.' Once a 'curious, hopeful child' Nomi now relies on biting humor as her life spins out of control — she stops attending school, shaves her head and wanders around in a marijuana-induced haze — while Ray sells off most of their furniture, escapes on all-night drives and increasingly withdraws into himself. Still, she and Ray are linked in a tender, if fragile, partnership as each slips into despair. Though the narration occasionally unravels into distracting stream of consciousness, the unsentimental prose and the poignant character interactions sustain reader interest. Bold, tender and intelligent, this is a clear-eyed exploration of belief and belonging, and the irresistible urge to escape both. Agent, Knopf Canada. Author tour. (Oct.)" Publishers Weekly (Copyright 2004 Reed Business Information, Inc.)
"Review" by , "[Toews] has an artful way of weaving her anecdotes together....There is beauty and compassion in her portrayal of Nomi's struggle, and there is also grudging sympathy for the people Nomi struggles to define herself against."
"Review" by , "[Toews's] episodic, highly introspective first novel...maintains a careful balance between hilarity and heartbreak that most readers will find unforgettable."
"Review" by , "A Complicated Kindness just may be a future classic in its own right....Simply put, this is a wonderful book because it reminds us of the beauty and meaning in one small moment of one small life."
"Review" by , "Offering incisive reflections on life, death and Lou Reed, the black-sheep Nomi is clearly wise beyond her years, and her voice is unique. The road to anywhere else may be rough for her, but her angst-ridden journey is unforgettable."
"Review" by , "[Nomi's] wry observations reflect normal adolescent angst leavened with a distinctly parochial irreverence. Teens with real issues as well as those who would benefit by realizing that they don't have it so bad will find sadness and hope in Nomi's thoughtful musings and root for her survival."
"Review" by , "[A]musing if somewhat rambling....Toews captures the spurts and lurches of adolescent growth in a tale as crude and fresh as its subject matter."
"Review" by , "A Complicated kindness...makes the novel more generous than it is bitter in spirit, and more revealing."
"Review" by , "Nomi Nickel is a sassy 16-year-old whose mother and sister have bolted from their Mennonite community, leaving Nomi with her off-kilter father in a repressive town where rebellion is severely punished."
"Review" by , "Miriam Toews has written a novel shot through with aching sadness, the spectre of loss, and unexpected humor....It might seem an odd metaphor to use about someone who has authored such a vivid, anguished indictment of religious fundamentalism, but Miriam Toews writes like an angel."
"Review" by , "Wise, edgy, unforgettable, the heroine of Miriam Toews' knockout novel is Canada's next classic."
"Review" by , "Miriam Toews's brilliant third novel, A Complicated told in Nomi's cocky, brooding voice."
"Review" by , "The narrative voice is so strong, it could carry the least eventful, least weird adolescence in the world and still be as transfixing.... Toews' novel is a wonderfully acute, moving, warm, sceptical, frustrated portrait of fundamentalist religion....The book is fascinating, and resonant, and inexorable..."
"Review" by , "A Complicated Kindness struck me like a blow to the solar plexus. Toews, somewhat like Mordecai Richler, makes you feel the pain of her protagonist while elucidating the predicament of her people, always mixing a large dose of empathy with her iconoclastic sense of the ridiculous."
"Review" by , "In a novel full of original characters...Toews has created a feisty but appealing young heroine....As an indictment against religious fundamentalism, A Complicated Kindness is timely. As a commentary on character it is fresh and inventive, and as storytelling it is first rate."
"Review" by , "A Complicated Kindness is affecting, impeccably written, and has real authority, but most of all it is immediate. You — as they say — are waking up in a crazy Bible camp, or witnessing an adolescent tour guide tear off her uniform and make a break for the highway.
"Review" by , "At times [Nomi is] all bravado and sardonic wit regarding her faith, but beneath that is a 16-year-old who's spent sleepless nights praying for her family's salvation. By way of Jesus Christ or John Lennon, she's never quite sure."
"Review" by , "The wry 16-year-old, trapped in a tiny Mennonite community in southern Manitoba, earns readers' sympathy and adoration from her first angst-drenched rage."
"Review" by , "Toews recreates the stultifying world of an exasperated Mennonite teenager in a small town where nothing happens with mesmerizing authenticity."
"Review" by , "A Complicated Kindness is a delight from beginning to end. The humour might be of the blackest sort ('People here just can't wait to die, it seems. It's the main event.'), but the cumulative effect is liberating and defiantly joyful."
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