Americans, especially young people, are leaving religion in record numbers. There are now more Nones than there are Catholics in the U.S. population, and one third of those under 30 say they have no religion. Unlike the baby boomers who dropped out of church in their youth but returned to raise their families, millennials seem comfortable remaining uncommitted. Why are so many people leaving their religion? What do they believe instead? And what are they passing on to their children? I spent the last decade trying to find out.
I'm a sociologist of religion, but what really started this project was my own experience as a parent who had to come to terms with her non-religiosity. When my daughter Sheila was three years old — that age when kids will ask why, why, why about everything — she started asking questions about religion... Why does Santa come? To make people happy. Why does he want to make people happy? Because it's Christmas. But why does he want to make people happy on Christmas? — I had to stop and think: If I say that's the day when Jesus was born, then the next question will be, who is Jesus? And how do I answer that one? I'd left Christianity years ago, so it felt hypocritical to tell her something I didn't believe. But then again, Christianity had been such a rich and wonderful part of my own childhood, and part of me felt guilty to not provide what my mother had given to me. So I started talking to other non-religious parents — and eventually parents all over the country — and realized I was not alone in my predicament. Here is some of what I learned...