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I do not own a Kindle. Or an iPad. Or a Nook. Or a Fisher Price Readsalot. This annoys me, because while there are some people out there who profess to love good old dead tree books (such as actor Tom Hanks), I am not as romantically attached. Maybe you think there's something to be said for the tactile experience of real books: turning the pages, holding the book in your hand, seeing the cover, etc. I find all of that crap to be fairly useless. The eBook revolution isn't happening anywhere near quickly enough for me.

Books are cumbersome. Holding them up in bed can be a real pain in the ass. You can strain your wrist turning page after page. Books can get wet. They can get warped in the humidity. Book jackets are floppy and annoying. But worst of all, books are HEAVY. Ever move a box of books? It's horrible. Especially if you don't know the box has books in it and then you go to pick it up ...

Like you folks who cruise the aisles at Powell's, I too quite enjoy getting swept up in a good book (or porno mag, but sometimes a real book!). And when I get hooked on a book, I tend to take it with me everywhere I go. I read a little in the car, or in a waiting room, or even walking down the stairs. I try and find any free opening I can to progress to the end of the book I happen to be enjoying.

Now, I have a wife. And sometimes, the wife gets a little bit temperamental with me because my face is planted in a book and I'm not paying proper attention to her or noticing my children trying to stab each other. And then I'll get the look. You know the look. The look that tells you you're selfish and horrible and that you have your priorities all wrong.

Now, here is my defense for ignoring my loved ones in favor of a book: IT'S A BOOK! It's not a Blackberry or ...

I write stuff for a living and writing for a living means that, sometimes, people around me will read the things I write in front of me — friends, family, FBI agents, and other law enforcement officials, etc. I don't know if this is true of all people who write things for a living, or anyone who writes anything for any reason, but when someone is reading something I wrote while I'm in their presence, I immediately want to throw up .

It doesn't matter what the item in question is, be it a blog post or a book or a ransom note. It makes little difference. Even if it's something as innocuous as a text message, I feel wildly uncomfortable standing there while someone I know reads it and processes it and, above all else, JUDGES it, and presumably judges me as a person while doing so. Did they like what I wrote down? Did they hate it? Are they mentally appalled by me but far too polite to openly say anything about it? GOD I CAN'T TAKE IT JUST CUT MY ...

Earlier this year, I had to take a road trip for work to Richmond, VA, which is two hours away from my house. I was supposed to sing the national anthem at a semi-pro football game and then write about it for the website I usually write for, Deadspin. That was the plan. Apart from me butchering the anthem and defecating myself at the idea of singing in front of a crowd, I expected it to go off well.

But it didn't. I got to the field and immediately God's wrath commanded the skies to open and unload a Pacific Ocean's worth of rain on the stadium. Lightning struck down all around us, and the game was delayed because you can't play football in lightning because that's dangerous, as opposed to playing football in normal conditions, which is PERFECTLY SAFE.

Once the lightning ended, game officials checked the weather reports and saw another storm system was bearing down on the area, so they needed to get the game played quickly, before they risked having to cancel it altogether. ...

Oh, hello there. I'm Drew Magary, author of The Postmortal, a book you can buy at Powell's starting TOMORROW! Nice. To help pimp the book, I'll be here blogging for the site all week. You may not know anything about me, or about this book. BUT FEAR NOT. Here's a very quick topline for you.

Q: Who are you again?

A: Drew Magary. I usually write for Maxim, GQ, NBC, and sports websites Deadspin and Kissing Suzy Kolber. I'm 34 years old. I'm married with two children. I do not own a firearm. I find chewing gum longer than two minutes to be exhausting. I love blister peanuts. I drink.

Q: And what's this book thing you did?

A: The Postmortal. It's a new novel available in paperback.

Q: And what's it about?

A: It's a science fiction novel about the advent of a permanent cure for aging and the effects that cure would have on the ...