Playlist? You want a playlist, you say? Don't you understand that I'm busy? Look, when you're a D-list literary celebrity like me, you don't have time for silly pursuits like making lists of songs for people. Beard grooming alone takes up enough of my time, and this week I'm supervising the modification of my waterfall-bubinga standing desk, specifically the embossing of my very favorite of my own lines of prose, in Edwardian script, onto the Russian reindeer-leather elbow rest. Hell, I don't even have time to listen to songs, let alone list them, which is why I limit myself to songs that last fewer than thirty seconds.
|Note: Happyland is
currently only available
as an eBook.
What, you're still here? Are you serious? Don't you know how valuable my time is? Don't you see the line of prostrate undergraduates arrayed down the hall? My students are required to purchase those ceremonial robes and hand-stitched sandals, custom-dyed in my university's colors, to wear during my office hours, whether I'm meeting with them or not, 10 a.m. to 2 p.m., every Tuesday, wherever they happen to be. Of course they're always here.
Shove over. My coffee boy isn't accustomed to sharing the settee.
Okay, fine. I'll give you a playlist — five minutes, that's all I've got. Thirty seconds max per song. Ten songs. Hand me my laptop. No, not the one with the Swarovski crystals spelling out the word dream on it, the other one. Yeah, that. You know this slipcase is made out of a genuine Steve Jobs turtleneck? Never mind. Let's get this thing done.
1. "Breakfast" by The Voluntary Butler Scheme (0:24)
This seems a nice place to start — it consists of a woman describing her breakfast ("scrambled tofu, a piece of fruit, some toast or somethin'") over a cheerful mélange of piano, bells, and woodwinds. The VBR is the brainchild of Rob Jones, a British multi-instrumentalist.