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Archive for the 'Poll' Category
Brockman, December 3, 2008 12:45 pm 3 Comments Filed under: Poll.
Brockman, June 26, 2008 11:50 am No Comments Filed under: Poll.
Brockman, June 19, 2008 4:24 pm No Comments Filed under: Poll.
Publishers are constantly promoting one new children's fantasy series after another as "the next Harry Potter." But let's be honest: nobody saw the last Harry Potter coming, so how are they supposed to predict the next one?
However, as much as any book can be considered a sure thing, 39% of our respondents wholeheartedly believe that Lost Babies: The Early Years by Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse will be the next big thing!
Publishing industry, are you listening? We want the wacky, fun-filled adventures of infant Jack, Kate, and Sawyer fighting for control of their play room against Locke, who believes the play room has mysterious powers because he has been crawling for four years — and suddenly he can walk!
We'll ignore the runner-up, The ALF Chronicles by Vicki the Robot (25%), as it's become clear to me that the one-time sitcom star of Small Wonder hacked into our system and rigged her vote. And yet, she still wasn't able to win — which goes to show that poor Vicki hasn't become any more competent since cancellation.
Brockman, June 11, 2008 4:18 pm 13 Comments Filed under: Poll.
Dearest Reader, I confess: I am despondent.
I fear I am screaming into an echo chamber. Hollering into my own pillow. Bellowing into the Great Void of the Eternal Unknowniness.
In other words: Is anybody out there? Is this thing on?
If you're reading this, have mercy upon your beleaguered blogger. Take two seconds to leave a comment so I know I'm not alone here.
It's so difficult to sit in the backseat of one's car (in my case, a stretch limo the length of a city block) wearing pajamas made of the finest handwoven silks, tapping away at a keyboard made of solid gold, just wondering if anyone cares.
Brockman, June 4, 2008 3:35 pm No Comments Filed under: Poll.
Comic Book Guy and Professor Frink must be beside themselves.
Which would undoubtedly involve Sir James and a scantily clad, impossibly beautiful secret agent washing up on the shores of a mysterious island patrolled by homicidal black smoke. (And it would turn out the Hansa Corporation is run by a certain Mr. Ernst Stavro Blofeld.)
BUT... in a not-remotely-close second, 18% would like to see Simpsons creator Matt Groening write the next installment. That leaves us pondering the delicious possibilities, which might look something like this:
We contacted Professor John I.Q. Nerdelbaum Frink, Jr. for a comment and he emailed the following statement:
And Comic Book Guy had only this to say: "Worst greatest idea ever."
Brockman, May 28, 2008 2:59 pm No Comments Filed under: Poll.
Maybe it was just too easy... or maybe our respondents were just too excited about the new Indiana Jones film.
It seems that 56% of those who bothered to click on last week's Hump Day Poll believe the former Henry Jones ("We named the dog Indiana") would win in a four-way fight between Indy, Barack Obama, ALF, and Vicki from Small Wonder.
This is, of course, completely incorrect.
We all know from watching the top-rated sitcom of the entire 1980s (and, in fact, it was so successful that it was also the top-rated sitcom of the '90s even though it had been cancelled by then!) that the robotic wonder-girl Vicki would use her bionic strength and speed to crush the skulls of her opponents before they could shoot her (Indy), outsmart her (Obama), or eat her cat (ALF).
Thus, despite what you Harrison Ford groupies want to believe, Vicki from Small Wonder is the true victor. (Her name is even short for "Victory!" Can it get much better than that?)
Alas, only 11% of respondents got the answer right. You are all better than human.
Brockman, May 14, 2008 2:16 pm 5 Comments Filed under: Poll.
I confess, I'm a bit baffled by this, as to my knowledge, the Thundercats' persnickety mascot had never previously appeared on our blog.
Yet, as the poll shows, a decisive 33% of respondents demand More Snarf! on our blog. So, here goes:
Meanwhile, with a close second, 26% want Reports from Powell's author events. We'll see what we can do to accommodate that — but don't expect reports from Snarf anytime soon. For one thing, he's a fictional character to whom Powells.com does NOT own the trademark... and for another, who'd want to listen to a report like this?
See what I mean? But we'll find a more suitable correspondent... somewhere.
Brockman, May 1, 2008 2:05 pm 1 Comment Filed under: Poll.
Perhaps keeping in mind our frequent designation as having one of the sexiest staffs in Portland (thanks, Mercury readers!), a whopping 55% of respondents selected A Powell's employee who reads the book to you in the bath as the most desirable addition to our Indiespensable packages.
Or perhaps there are a lot of lonely bathers who frequent this blog and would like anyone — anyone at all — to read to them in the bath. I hate to speculate.
At any rate, you've spoken and we shall respond accordingly. Volume 3 of Indiespensable (not yet announced) will ship with a live Powell's employee enclosed.
Warning: if you receive a human-sized Indiespensable box that doesn't have holes punched in the lid, DO NOT OPEN IT! Just bury the thing in your backyard and let us never mention it again.
Brockman, April 24, 2008 10:48 am No Comments Filed under: Poll.
Brockman, April 11, 2008 1:04 pm 1 Comment Filed under: Poll.
Instead of offering my two bits (and change), I'm just going to sit here shaking my head with dismay and allow all of you to ponder a world where 44% of respondents would somehow rather see The Hobbit than ALF Meets Manimal and the Robot Kid from "Small Wonder."
Here's The Hobbit: "Wheeeeee, look at me, I'm a little guy with hairy feet! La dee da dee da, look at all the fun computer monsters around me! Dum de dum de dum, what silly, fun, dumb adventures I'm having! Wonder how my life will end up? Oh, that's right, you already know 'cause I turned old and crazy in the Lord of the Rings movies everyone saw! Ta tee ta tee ta, I wish I could kill myself, and so will you when you have to sit through this movie."
And here's the entire world after witnessing the pants-splurshing spectacle that is ALF Meets Manimal and the Robot Kid from "Small Wonder": "HOLY [CENSORED] ON MY MOTHER'S [CENSORED] [CENSORED], THIS IS THE GREATEST CINEMATIC ACHIEVEMENT OF ALL [CENSORED] [CENSORED] [CENSORED] [CENSORED] TIME!!!!!!!!!"
But hey, you enjoy your Hobbit leavings.