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6 Responses to "FPP#13: Because No One Else Had"
ElinnaSnunc
September 3, 2008 at 07:31 PM
i don`t understand, but TY .
Aalto Drinker
April 18, 2006 at 09:52 PM
I love when Keith does that. ("This one goes like this!")
KyleRanger
April 18, 2006 at 06:50 PM
If they're song lyrics I'd love to hear the song. Any musicians out there seeking a great first verse? Not to everyone's taste apparently, but I'll sing along. Whether it works as the beginning of a story depends on how much you come to fiction for characters, as opposed to action or atmospherics. I feel like I'm in the passenger seat, literally, riding past one church and then another. The radio's off, probably. The driver turned it off in order to focus on her/his buzzing brain. Will the story have anything to do with church #3 or what happens inside? Don't know, don't especially care. (I didn't come for action.) But out of the gate a character has done something genuinely novel. I've never heard of someone shopping for churches that way. And urgently! Something I've never seen before happens
in the very first paragraph.
I want to keep spying on the driver. Somebody make me a bumper-sticker: I COME FOR CHARACTER!
alexis
April 18, 2006 at 03:20 PM
I know who the author is and I've been waiting for this book to come out for a month. So, if you don't mind running the rest of the story, I'll be set until I get a copy of my own.
Venkman
April 18, 2006 at 03:03 PM
How many times can I read that paragraph before it starts to wear thin? I'm going on fifteen or twenty.
I read it only once and can live the rest of my life just fine without reading it again. Her heart stopped? Swell, I'll take her word for it. She stopped at the third church because the parking lot was empty -- good enough for me. Otherwise, there's nothing even remotely compelling to me in that paragraph.
Laura Lee
April 18, 2006 at 03:00 PM
that paragraph doesn't particularly appeal to me. rhythm bugs me. it reads too much like song lyrics -- something by U2 or johnny cash, both of whom I like -- but it doesn't work as the beginning of a story.
Result(s) 6
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