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FPP#18: It’s the Taxidermist

From a brand new novel published by MacAdam Cage:

It's the taxidermist. I can tell by my caller ID. His picture, which he once gave to one of the girls, is taped to the wall above my phone, between a photocopy of our business license and the list of descriptions that Mohammed has written to help sell the girls: "classy, mature, enthusiastic, efervessent, exotic, curvie" — whatever adjective might get a caller going.

Effervescent? Never mind that Mohammed misspelled it, how many callers are looking to spend good cash money for a quality most often associated with lemon-lime soda?

Enthusiastic, sure. And all things being equal, Mom always said, never skimp on class when you're going to break the law. Mature, presumably, means over forty; and as for exotic and curvie, let's chalk those two up to personal taste.

What are any of us looking for? And, take a step back, where are we looking? In bars or bookstores, churches, dance clubs, online? Far be it from me to pass judgment on a fictional character, the previous two paragraphs notwithstanding, but this may be one of those occasions when I disregard the first ninety thoughts that come to mind and simply take solace in the fact that I'm not a taxidermist who gives his picture to call girls. Or, for that matter, the woman on the other end of the line. Count your blessings where you can, right?

[Turn back to last time's First Paragraph Preview, or skip straight to its author and title.]

Update: Find the author and title.

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Dave interviews authors for Powell's. He created our Out of the Book film series. He likes cats and dogs.

Books mentioned in this post

  1. Best New American Voices 2006: Fresh... New Trade Paper $18.95
  2. Calling Out Used Hardcover $6.95

Dave is the author of Out of the Book, Volume 3: State by State

3 Responses to "FPP#18: It’s the Taxidermist"

    michael June 13th, 2006 at 4:51 pm

    Any first paragraph that features the word taxidermist is fine by me. Of course that goes for taxidermy, taxidermied, or even rogue taxidermy. By the way, the Minnesota Association of Rogue Taxidermy is looking to create a "rogue taxidermy" out of someone's recently expired cat. Any takers?

    Salami June 13th, 2006 at 11:03 pm

    Just a guess: Was one of those ninety thoughts, "I bet the taxidermist has a mustache"?

    KyleRanger June 14th, 2006 at 11:26 pm

    Is the taxidermist posing with antlers in the frame, do you think? Or an "expired" cat that he entered in a Minnesota-based contest? (Ooo, sexy!) Does he know that his photo has been taped to the wall? Are pictures of other callers on display beside his? Why do I care? I'm not sure if I actually do. It's just an odd image and I can't help filling in some of the gaps.

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