The first few people who read the book I wrote (whose quality of life isn't directly affected by how good of a mood I'm in) all had the same initial responses — "Wow, you are one brave lady....aren't you worried?"
Well, I wasn't... but thank you — now I am.
They're referring to all the personal stuff in the book. Most of which is exaggerated for KOMEDY! But the fear I hear in their voices reminds me of a story about a little kitty...in a far away land... standing on the outside ledge of an open window... 3 stories high. Let me tell you about what that brave little kitty taught me — I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M GOING TO BLOG ABOUT A KITTY... I'll be brief.
When I was housesitting for friends in Amsterdam — I walked in their living room to discover their cat had slipped under the cracked window and was on THE OTHER side of the glass. Enjoying the view and the fresh air. Happy as a Kitty Clam. Until s/he (she wasn't a tranny kitty — I just don't remember her sex) heard my loud "gasp!"
And then we made eye contact and as soon as she saw the look of "oh shit — you're gonna fall!" on my face. She fell.
She didn't die. She had a few moments where she staggered around on the sidewalk below thinking 'fucking house sitter' and then she was fine.
The period of people asking me "if I was worried" has not been followed by law suits and hate mail. It's just been a peaceful month of me worrying.
And right when I'd stop worrying about it — I'd be interviewed and I'd be reminded not to forget to worry.
I was in Vancouver for a "Good Morning! Vancouver!" Live morning news show and the woman who interviewed me seemed lovely. Tough and smart — and so AWAKE.
Before we went on the air, she told me she liked my book. "You read it!" I said — and I was surprised. There were a few interviews I'd had where they hadn't.
"Uhm, of course I read it — you're on my show. I'm going to read your book..." She had clearly read it because she felt so immediately superior to me.
At the end of the interview she promo'd the book with: "So... if you want to feel better about your life... read Lauren's book!" Which made me start laughing. "If you want to feel thin — sit next to fatty!" I added. NOT about her — I meant me. And I was riffing on her theme.
And I'm not assuming she thought my comment was about her — but it still worried me.
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Lauren Weedman made her television debut on Comedy Central's Emmy Award-winning The Daily Show with Jon Stewart in 2001 as a featured correspondent. She is the author of A Woman Trapped in a Woman's Body.
Books mentioned in this post
Lauren Weedman is the author of A Woman Trapped in a Woman's Body: Tales from a Life of Cringe