Hi. How are you? I'm really great. Thanks so much for asking. I'm guessing they probably already put my name somewhere around this blog entry telling you that I am Dave Hill, a guy whose first book Tasteful Nudes totally just came out and stuff. But — in case they didn't — I am Dave Hill,a guy whose first book Tasteful Nudes totally just came out and stuff. I'm really excited to be blogging on the incredible Powell's site this week, not just because I love harnessing the power of the Internet whenever possible and am also thrilled that the people at this library have finally agreed to let me use the computers again after what happened, but also because — wow — look at this font! I also like Powell's a lot and have totally been to their store and everything. Here's how it all went down:
I was in Portland a month or so ago for the Bridgetown Comedy Festival (a reputable festival held right there in town, right near all the shops), when I decided to go for a long walk.As these things often go, most of this walk ended up involving me having a few drinks and then hanging out at the bus station for a few hours. But then after that, I wandered over to Powell's. I was feeling a bit saucy and perhaps a bit drunk too, so my original plan was to just walk in, stroll on over to the information desk, and tell whoever was standing behind it that I am Dave Hill, a guy whose first book Tasteful Nudes is totally about to come out and stuff (NOTE: The book wasn't out at this point. But it is now, in case you were thinking of buying it, which you should or my feelings will be hurt). But then I thought, Who do I think I am? Goddamn Bret Easton Ellis or something?!, and then just decided to head quietly to the photography section instead like a reasonably normal person. I was hoping to make a day of it there, but I quickly started getting strange looks (I don't want to get into it) from basically everybody, so I decided to head over for a bit to the coffee shop they've got there and pull myself together. While I was there, I had a large coffee and some pastry of some sort while doing my best to stare down anyone willing to make eye contact. It was great.
I did end up buying a book while I was at Powell's. I can't remember the title, but I can tell you that I am a couple chapters in and the main character is in Mexico for some reason and — despite his best efforts and overall joie de vivre — his life is a goddamn mess and — despite all warning signs — he really didn't see any of this coming, especially the outfits. I'll keep you posted on what happens next.
As for the present, I probably should have mentioned this earlier, but, as I type this, I am in scenic Los Angeles, home of the stars, where last night I did my first-ever West Coast reading of my popular book Tasteful Nudes, mentioned earlier. The reading was at Stories Books, a great independent store in Echo Park (a neighborhood on the rise/popular with the young people). The reading took place outside on the patio behind the store, which had me concerned that the entire audience or maybe just I would quietly sneak out the gate into the adjacent parking lot just as I'd gotten a few sentences into things. But then I demanded they lock the gate so no one could go anywhere goddammit, myself included, until I was good and ready to stop reading aloud from my book and demanding people ask me questions about my "process" and also my hair. In the end, however, the reading ended up being a lot of fun and there was no reason to get all worked up and swear at that one lady like that. There was a good crowd and — as best I can tell — no one even thought about throwing anything at my head at any point, a going and perfectly reasonable concern of mine. Afterward, a bunch of folks who came to the reading and I went to a place called Taix down the street. I was there several hours and I still couldn't tell you how to pronounce Taix for the life of me. The note I just found in my pocket suggests I had a really nice time, though, and that I should call the number at the bottom, you know, whenever. I will keep you posted on this and other topics tomorrow once the fog has lifted, the duct tape is completely removed, and I get to the bottom of exactly whose bathroom I am locked in right now. Until then, stay street and keep shining.
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Dave Hill is a comedian, writer, retired pedicab driver, rock star, actor, and man-about-town. He has been on HBO, written for the New York Times, starred in his own TV show, contributed to This American Life, and has been in at least five rock bands. Tasteful Nudes is his first book.
Books mentioned in this post
Dave Hill is the author of Tasteful Nudes: And Other Misguided Attempts at Personal Growth and Validation