|
Gladgifer
, November 09, 2007
(view all comments by Gladgifer)
i really want to read this book. but i am behind the times having only recently come back from my experience in the stone age, where i consequently lived under a rock with little contact with the outside world. and then i accidentally jumped into the dark ages where i was captured by king charles and i was joan of arc, but when i was burned at the steak i was really only being sent forward in time. that put me in the 1600's where i came across from europe on on the mayflower, not because i wanted freedom of religion but because i was greatly in need of a change of scenery and had been recently been biking around my neighborhood looking for an adventure. then i just knew i had to get away. but after i got to america, the pilgrims bored me, so i went in search of the roanoke colony. amazingly enough, i found them. they were now reduced to a small group of canibals and i was lucky to get out alive. i ran right into the seventeen hundreds, smack dab in the middle of the revolutionary war. everyone thinks that goerge washingtons wife was martha, but it was actually me in disguise. im sorry that you were decieved like that, but what can i say? so, after I won the revolutionary war (really, do you think my husband, BEING A MAN would actually have the brains to win an entire revolution?) i was the brains of that entire outfit. after that i was like, screw america, so then i went to canada and jumped off the niagra falls. WHAT A RUSH!!!!! i was the only person to survive freefalling down the niagra falls, but the government just keeps that all hush hush. they thought i was an alien so they took me to area 51 where i was tested like a ufo. which i have to admit, was a little weird especially since im not like an inanimate object. but after i got out of that god forsaken place, i went to antarctica to study the penguins and occasional little fishie thing, what can i say? i love the cold!!!!! after my little journey to the arctic i went to russia where i basically overthrew the czar. peice of cake really, he was like 80 anyway and really just needed to be kicked in the butt. then i went on to study in europe again, where i discovered dna, and even though u might hear the rosilyn franklin discovered it in the 1900's, those people were wrong and i actually did it first. And then, i decided to settle down, i became albert einstien. e=mc2 and all, i really am in awe of my own brilliance, but what can i say? then i went and started the italian mafia, a very misunderstood bookclub that occasionally got into barfights, people really need to stop judging other people for how drunk they can get sometimes. they tried to arrest me but i was a little to smart for that and framed my boyfriend, scipio. the theif lord himself. after that scipio like hated my guts which i cant understand AT ALL. i mean really, whats not to love? but anywho, i went and skipped the country choosing to go to africa where i became a superhero who wears tights and a neon pink cape that will NEVER get caught in an airplain, cuz its magic. after my stint as an african superhero i went back to europe because i had just recieved my hogwarts letter. i found out that i was actually the boy who lived, but really im a girl, they just got confused, so after kicking voldemorts hiney i went on to go to highschool. where i fell in love with this vampire named edward, who was in all aspects, REALLY SUPER HOT. but then i dumped him for jacob a stupid wearwolf who i also dumped in like a week. then i went to newyork to get a job. i starred in the broadway musical wicked playing the part of galinda, with my best friend jennifer as elphaba. she really enjoyed painting herself green and decided to stay that way for like... the rest of her life. okay not really, but more like for the next week. but who can blame her? green is sexy!!!!!! i finally was back in my own time era, the triassic period of the dinasour age, where i settled down and red the sixth charlie bone book, which i hear is really good and ended up dying by being eaten by a ravenous canibal in the roanoke colony. they really hated my guts and thought i would make a good breakfast. so i died like a cannibal victim and am now happily roasing marshmellow on an open fire in limbo. ta ta for now =]
|