Synopses & Reviews
Women of all ages want to make others happy--it's just in a woman's nature, isn't it? But what happens when that "need to please" goes wrong, and a woman keeps pushing herself harder while simultaneously ignoring her own needs? What happens when a woman begins to think self-sabotaging
girly thoughts--thoughts like
If only I was thinner . . . younger . . . prettier . . . was into kinkier sex . . . ? What happens when relationships sour and the trauma is carried into subsequent relationships?
Noted psychologist and author Dr. Patricia O'Gorman answers these questions for today's generation of women. This groundbreaking book reveals how girly thoughts are just conclusions women reach as a way of making sense of the trauma they've experienced and the resulting codependency issues they grapple with. They need to be reminded from time to time of the saying that while legendary dancer Fred Astaire received top billing, "Ginger Rogers did everything that Fred Astaire did. She just did it backwards and in high heels."
Whether dealing with family members, coworkers, intimate relationships, or a best friend, when a woman feels "less than" she often misses the path toward achieving her true potential. Blaming herself for what someone else has done to her is, sadly, a common theme among women, but Dr. O'Gorman shows how this reaction is merely how women have been conditioned to respond--then provides the tools they need to break the cycle and become more resilient.
Resilience, according to Dr. O'Gorman, is the part of us that celebrates cycles: it looks forward to new beginnings and back to past lessons. Using this life-long lens, readers will learn valuable ways of looking at their interpersonal relationships and will acquire tools to become more resilient,
Review
"This is a powerful MUST READ resource for women to understand the process of resiliency and their resilient style in facing stressful challenges. Bravo to the author for empowering woman with creative exercises and tools to strengthen their resilient style."
--Mercedes A. McCormick, PhD, LP, 2013 President of the American Psychological Association, Div. 52 International Psychology, and past president of the New York State Psychological Association, Division of Women's Issues Endorsement
Review
"Offering both a mirror and a roadmap to guide women to new understandings about individual thoughts, actions, and strengths, The Resilient Woman provides insight and the protective tools to 'woman-proof' our lives. Instead of blaming women for picking up negative ideas of how we should think, feel, or act, O'Gorman explains how being a woman includes the exposure to a certain amount of 'cultural trauma' and then shows women how a resilient life is generated not from what happened in our lives but by our reactions to those things. The Resilient Woman offers the tools we need to make change in our lives plus the actionable steps to help us live from our base of personal power. It's a masterpiece!"
--Teena Cahill, PsyD, humorist, TV and radio show host, director of Wisdom and Beyond, and author of The Cahill Factor: Turning Adversity into Advantage Endorsement
Review
"Exploring the individual, family, and community factors we have experienced enables us to look at ourselves in a new way. The questions raised by Dr. O'Gorman about how we think of ourselves, and the steps suggested to build a sense of resilience, are very constructive."
--Lita Schwartz, PhD, Distinguished Professor Emerita, Pennsylvania State University Endorsement
Review
"Unfortunately, even after half a century of feminist awareness, many smart women and girls are unable to access their power and live as fully as they would like. This book is a place to start--for women and for men who care about women and girls--to unravel the invisible forces that determine how we feel and what we're capable of doing."
--Marsha Shenk, pioneer in business anthropology, coach, and consultant to leaders from the Fortune 50 to Solopreneurs and founder of The BestWork® People Endorsement
Review
"While showing how our childhood influences our resiliency, Dr. O'Gorman skillfully provides insight on the wide variety of changes women experience over the years. Developing and understanding a strong resilience plays a critical role in every woman's personal and professional success."
--Janet L. Duprey, New York State Assemblywoman, 115th District Endorsement
Review
"Women who come to a family law attorney are generally in pain and at a crossroads in their lives.
The Resilient Woman offers an incredible tool to empower our clients during this period of their lives. Do not, however, mistake this book as merely a read for a person in crisis.
The Resilient Woman explores why and how we revert to our girlhoods for so many of our emotional responses, how to analyze and overcome the results of those responses, and how to make decisions based on our adult selves."
--Elaine Wilson, Esq., past president of the Foothill (East San Diego County) Bar Association Endorsement
Review
"Look no further than
The Resilient Woman to discover and develop your inner resilience. I could relate to so much of this book because of my own life. As author Patricia O'Gorman points out, childhood experiences have an incredible impact on resilience in adulthood, but no matter what difficult circumstance life throws at you, you too can create resilience from it. The resilience journal Dr. O'Gorman guides readers to create is an excellent exercise for every woman to use to begin the process of developing a resilient life. This is a book I recommend not just for woman; men will benefit from this information, too."
--Erin Merryn, Glamour's Woman of the Year 2012, political activist, and author of Stolen Innocence and Living for Today Endorsement
Review
"Wow! I wish I could have read this book twenty-five years ago. I could have spared myself decades of listening to the static of
girly thoughts as well as participating in the self-sabotage that goes with them. Growing your self-awareness, recognizing the need for boundaries, and acquiring the confidence to take charge are critical components of a successful professional career. This is particularly true of professions that have traditionally been dominated by men. First you have to 'know what you know' and then have the faith to act accordingly. In
The Resilient Woman, author Patricia O'Gorman offers both the background knowledge and the doable steps any woman can use to accomplish this."
--Rebecca Lewis, Esq., attorney and criminal prosecutor Endorsement
Review
"Dr. O'Gorman defines 'resilient women' in a whole new light, while messaging that resiliency has more to do more with one's curiosity, optimism, combatting outdated
girly thinking,
and gratitude. Her practical and warmly written book invites readers to recognize and boost their resilience as they take the journey to transform and give higher meaning to their lives. By the end of
The Resilient Woman I was saying, 'Yes, I am!' and 'Yes, I can!' "
--Kathryn Brohl, LMFT, author of Social Service Workplace Bullying: A Betrayal of Good Intentions Endorsement
Review
"Dr. O'Gorman's book is a practical and powerful guide for helping women develop and acknowledge their resilience. Though
girly thoughts often undermine women's belief in their own competence, most survive life's inevitable surprises and setbacks quite well. It's now time for women to take credit for doing so. The stories of how women have tackled the toughest tests of life will be an inspiration to all."
--Linda Sapadin, PhD, psychologist and author of How to Beat Procrastination in the Digital Age Endorsement
Review
"In
The Resilient Woman, Dr. O'Gorman exposes the self-defeating ways of thinking about both self and other that women often grow up with and rely on to guide their relationships. Dr. O'Gorman provides a practical guide for the reader to reconsider these ineffective
girly thoughts and to get in touch with and utilize strengths that underlie their resilience."
--Thomas Lund, PsyD, coauthor of Narrative Solutions in Brief Therapy
Endorsement
Review
"For those trapped by social mores or personal trauma or in counterproductive thought patterns or behaviors, the author presents real stories to help understand why as well as encouragement to take charge of changing their lives for the better. While the book is purposely focused on women of all ages, most of the advice and the structured change methods offered would be helpful to men as well."
--Michaela K. Rodeno, CEO (retired) of St. Supery Winery in Napa Valley, CA., former VP/Marketing for Domaine Chandon, and current chairman of the board of directors of Visit Napa Valley Endorsement
Review
"
The Resilient Woman is imbued with strength, clarity and inspiring guidance that any woman can use."
--Maureen Healy, author of Growing Happy Kids Endorsement
Review
"Dr. Patricia O'Gorman's background makes her imminently qualified to address what happens when women disregard their own needs.
The Resilient Woman reflects her latest thinking on an issue that debilitates tens of thousands of women--a way of thinking and behaving that can literally be fatal--and shows the way to a new path of personal power. This book can save your life!"
--Julie D. Bowden, MS, marriage, family, and child therapist and coauthor of Recovery: A Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics Endorsement
Review
"Women so often give away their power as they go through life on autopilot, and, when a crisis hits, they scramble to unearth the wisdom and strength they always had.
The Resilient Woman is a manual for unleashing that power and letting go of those
girly thoughts that only get in the way of one's true self."
--Sherry Gaba, LCSW, speaker, cohost of A Moment of Change on CBS radio, and author of The Law of Sobriety Endorsement
Review
"This very readable book offers many of the basic tools used clinically to reverse the consequences of post-traumatic stress for women who have survived domestic abuse, street crime, war, and other kinds of institutional abuse, whether in academic or treatment centers.
The Resilient Woman is a book I would like to be able to hand to each of my female PTSD clients to stimulate their recovery."
--Rona M. Fields, PhD, fellow of the American Psychological Association and author of Against Violence Against Women Endorsement
Review
"Patricia O'Gorman has created an in-depth yet highly accessible treatise about how women can tap into the layers of their histories and identities. Unpeeling the layers creates a step-by-step plan for creating personal degrees of sustainable agency that can be life transforming. Celebrating our weaknesses and pains as our true strengths instead of trying to manage them in the deep shadows of our psyches has the potential to reshape the meaning of wisdom from within in our homes, communities, and societies."
--Dr. Steve Tyrell, president, North Country Community College, Saranac Lake, NY Endorsement
Review
"As a wife, mother, grandmother, professional speaker, entertainer, and a suicide survivor, I know the desperation that can fill a woman's life . . . even when everything looks good on the outside. I urge women to read
The Resilient Woman and take the risk of getting to know your true selves, your strong selves. You will reap tremendous benefits from reading this powerful book."
--LaDonna Gatlin, CSP, CPAE, author of The Song in You Endorsement
Review
"Patricia O'Gorman offers women a path to uncovering and accessing their natural strengths and beauty. Through recognizing their support systems and integrating their personal history, Patricia empowers women to accept, nurture, and creatively fulfill their lives. She has created an insightful, engaging dialogue that encourages positive self-reflection and growth. This is guide to living your life with joy and confidence, a book you will read and share with your friends."
--Robin Becker, MA, artistic director, Robin Becker Dance Endorsement
Review
"
The Resilient Woman brings together many effective theories on empowerment, parenting, self-esteem, self-care, and independence to provide a guidebook for woman of any age. Understanding and getting past the fear of releasing old ways of being opens the door to a future based on what really matters to you. As you discover ways to build your life from a foundation that is uniquely your own, you will release the dreams and hopes of the past that caused pain and failure.
"Applause to Dr. Patricia O'Gorman for bringing so much empowering information together into one comprehensive guidebook that every woman should have on her bookshelf."
--Nancy Mramor, PhD, CEO of Transformedia LLC, health and media psychologist, award-winning author, and international speaker Endorsement
Review
"Broken into three significant parts,
The Resilient Woman enveloped the essence of the word, resilient. Having heard this word before and used mostly as a description of hard-working women, I have developed a new-found knowledge of the term, and it's application to my life."
--Casandra Hawkins Wilson, NetGalley
Review
"You will really get a lot out of this book and will want to pass it on. "
--Nicole Merritt, NetGalley
About the Author
Patricia O'Gorman, PhD, a psychologist in private practice in Albany, and Saranac Lake, New York, is noted for her work on women, trauma, and substance abuse and for her warm, inspiring, and funny presentations that make complex issues accessible and even fun. She has served as a consultant to organizations in preventative and clinical strategic planning. Dr. O'Gorman is a cofounder of the National Association for Children of Alcoholics, and she has held positions ranging from clinical director of a child welfare agency to interim director of a crime victims organization to director of the division of prevention for the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA). She is a veteran of numerous television appearances, including Good Morning America, Today, and AM Sunday. She is the coauthor of Healing Trauma Through Self-Parenting: The Codependency Connection, The Lowdown on Families Who Get High, 12 Steps to Self-Parenting for Adult Children, 12 Steps to Self-Parenting Workbook, Teaching About Alcohol, and Breaking the Cycle of Addiction, as well as numerous articles in magazines, including Addiction Today, Counselor, and Recovery