Synopses & Reviews
From the most-read humor site on the internet, Cracked.com
YOU MIGHT BE A ZOMBIEand#133;
and#160;
You're going to wish you never picked up this book.
Some facts are too terrifying to teach in school. Unfortunately, Cracked.com is more than happy to fill you in:
* A zombie apocalypse? It could happen. 50% of humans are infected with a parasite that can take over your brain.
* The FDA wouldn't let you eat bugs, right? Actually, you might want to put down those jelly beans. And that apple. And that strawberry yogurt.
* Think dolphins are our friends? Then these sex-crazed thrill killers of the sea have you right where they want you.
* The most important discovery in the history of genetics? Francis Crick came up with it while on LSD.
* Think you're going to choose whether or not to buy this book? Scientists say your brain secretly makes all your decisions 10 seconds before you even know what they are.
If youand#8217;re a fan of The Oatmeal or Frak.com and hate being wrong about stuff, youand#8217;ll love what you find in YOU MIGHT BE A ZOMBIE from the twisted minds at Cracked.
Review
"In a sea of literary lies, finally a book that will tell you the truth about the things you need to know."
-Sarah Silverman
"Smart, funny, and cool."
-Roger Ebert
"The funniest, wisest, greatest book ever written! I keep reading and rereading it here in my padded cell!"
-Stan Lee
Review
Praise for Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes and#8220;I was giggling by the first page and full blown LOLing by the first myth. Itand#8217;s really that funny.and#8221;
and#8211;Electric Feast
and#160;
and#8220;It is in fact the not-so-delicate, in-your-face attitude, sarcasm, and black humor that have made this book an instant standout against the other mythology chronicles of its time.and#8221;
and#8211;The Blue and Gold
Synopsis
From the most-read humor site on the internet, Cracked.com
YOU MIGHT BE A ZOMBIEand#133;
and#160;
You're going to wish you never picked up this book.
Some facts are too terrifying to teach in school. Unfortunately, Cracked.com is more than happy to fill you in:
* A zombie apocalypse? It could happen. 50% of humans are infected with a parasite that can take over your brain.
* The FDA wouldn't let you eat bugs, right? Actually, you might want to put down those jelly beans. And that apple. And that strawberry yogurt.
* Think dolphins are our friends? Then these sex-crazed thrill killers of the sea have you right where they want you.
* The most important discovery in the history of genetics? Francis Crick came up with it while on LSD.
* Think you're going to choose whether or not to buy this book? Scientists say your brain secretly makes all your decisions 10 seconds before you even know what they are.
If youand#8217;re a fan of The Oatmeal or Frak.com and hate being wrong about stuff, youand#8217;ll love what you find in YOU MIGHT BE A ZOMBIE from the twisted minds at Cracked.
Synopsis
Uh-oh.
The New York Times bestselling authors from Cracked.com are back again . . .
Its Cracked, but true. You Might Be a Zombie and Other Bad News was a New York Times bestseller and has already returned to print seven times. Now, the writers at the Internets #1 most-read humor site have created a dementedly hilarious textbook parody. By the time we were out of school, wed learned that spinach is full of iron, there are three primary colors, and we have five senses. Unfortunately, these and most of the other facts” we crammed into our heads are simply not true. The Detextbook is here to erase it alleasily, painlessly, and hilariously.
Synopsis
You are an idiot.
Don't get defensive! It's not your fault. For decades your teachers, authority figures and textbooks have been lying to you. You do not have five senses. Your tongue doesn't have neatly segregated taste-bud zones. You don't know what the pyramids really looked like. You're even pooping wrong - Jesus, you're a wreck!
But it's going to be okay. Because we're here to help. Packed with more sexy facts than the Encyclopedia Pornographica, the Cracked De-Textbook will teach you about the true stars of history, why you picture everything from Velociraptors to Ancient Rome incorrectly, and finally, at long last - how to pop a proper squat. This book was built from the ground up to systematically seek out, dismantle and destroy the many untruths that years of misguided education have left festering inside of you, and leave you a smarter person...whether you like it or not. The De-Textbook is a merciless, brutal learning machine. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are informed.
Synopsis
From Apache creation myths and Christopher Columbusand#8217;s STD-ridden arrival on the shores of America, to Elvis, the Mole People, and Roswell, a humorous look at the seminal events and legends in US history. In
and#160;George Washington Is Cash Money, readers will learn the absolutely true stories of:
- The UFO at Roswell was a weather balloon--patched up with floral-print scotch tape.
- The Salem Witch trials happened because a couple of teens wanted attention.
- Joseph Smith invented Mormonism by staring into a hat full of rocks.
- Elvis Presley watched up to three TVs at once, and changed channels by shooting them with guns.
About the Author
Cory O'Brienand#160;is a word-wizard and technojester of the first degree. He reads and writes mythology, science fiction, and computer code. He has camped with gypsies, juggled for food, and driven across the country in a car powered by vegetable oil. Now he lives in Chicago, where he recently graduated with an MFA in writing from the School of the Art Institute of Chicago. Cory's dream is to one day travel to Mars, or at least to own a jacket made entirely of pockets.