Synopses & Reviews
When former Oregon Governor Barbara Roberts' husband, Frank Roberts, was dying from lung cancer, she had to look inside of herself as well as beyond herself to find ways to survive what felt unbearable. What Barbara Roberts learned during the final year of her husband's life, and her subsequent years of grieving, fill the pages of this honest and inspiring new book.
At the time of Frank's cancer recurrence, Barbara was governor of Oregon, and Frank was an Oregon State Senatorboth passionately committed to their work and to one another. Together they had faced many challenges, but Frank's impending death would be their final, and perhaps their most trying and enriching journey. The Roberts turned to hospice for guidance and assistance once Frank decided to stop medical intervention.
This practical and compassionate guide looks at the personal as well as the societal issues surrounding death and grief. Written for both the individual facing death and for those who must grieve after a death, Roberts offers readers enthusiastic support to abandon the silence that too often accompanies impending death and those who must grieve. Chapter titles include "A Culture in Denial," "Hospice," and "Permission to be Weird."
"Death Without Denial, Grief Without Apology teaches us how to be advocates for ourselves and for our loved ones when we face a life-threatening illness. Barbara Roberts provides accurate and timely information that will help us make good, end-of-life decisions for ourselves or for someone we love. This is a touching story about love and loss, and grief and growth. Roberts's book tells the story that hospice people know needs to be told." Ann Jackson, Executive Director, Oregon Hospice
"This book is for anyone who is facing the prospect of life's final chapter either for themselves, or a loved one. The reader will walk away feeling someone does understand what he or she may be going through, and that there are answers on how to walk through the experience of death with dignity. As a physician who treated over one thousand HIV patients, and more recently as a patient with metastatic colon cancer, I have found the topics of grief and death can often marginalize us at a time when we desperately need compassion, understanding, and practical advice. Governor Roberts tackles this least understood and most shunned universal experience death with incredible grace and wisdom." R. Scott Hitt, M.D., President of the American Academy of HIV Medicine, Past Chair of the Presidential Advisory on HIV/AIDS
"Americans have a lot of attitude about grief; what doesn't work for them is labeled 'morbid,' 'macabre,' or 'weird.' Roberts's overriding message is that there isn't one right way to express sorrow and that people should be allowed to use whatever rituals or comforts they need, for as long as they need, without censure. Formerly governor of Oregon, Roberts tells the story of her husband's death from lung cancer simply, unhesitatingly, and without wallowing in bathos. She chronicles Frank's last days, including their experience with hospice. Most importantly, she shares her own, very personal, secrets of how she mourned. By allowing the reader that access, she drives home her points. Recommended for public libraries and those academic libraries serving social work and thanatology programs." Publishers Weekly
When her husband was dying from prostate cancer, Governor Barbara Roberts had to look inside herself to survive. What she found in that journey fills the pages of this frank but inspiring book, written for both the patient facing death and those he or she leaves behind.
When her husband was dying from prostate cancer, former Oregon Governor Barbara Roberts had to look inside herself to survive. What she found in that journey fills the pages of this frank but inspiring book. Written for both the patient facing death and those he or she leaves behind, Death Without Denial, Grief Without Apology shows readers how to abandon the silence that too often accompanies these natural processes and find peace within them. Chapter titles include A Culture in Denial,” Hospice,” Permission to Be Weird,” The Long Slow Climb Back,” and Reaching Out to Others.”
About the Author
When former Oregon Governor Barbara Roberts's husband, Frank Roberts, was dying from lung cancer, she had to look inside herself as well as beyond herself to find ways to survive what felt unbearable. What Barbara Roberts learned during the final year of her husband's life, and her subsequent years of grieving, fill the pages of this honest and inspiring new book.
Barbara Roberts was the Governor of Oregon from 1991 through 1995, and during that time Oregon was recognized by Financial World Magazine as the seventh best-managed state in the nation. Roberts now teaches at Portland State University as an associate director of Leadership Development, and prior to that she taught at the Kennedy School of Government at Harvard University. Presently, Roberts serves on the board of trustees for several major nonprofit organizations, including the Oregon Hospice Association, the Human Rights Campaign, and the advisory council of Oregon's Compassion in Dying. This is her first book.