Synopses & Reviews
The only book with a program that is proven to solve the problem of female bullying, a controversial issue first exposed in the bestselling Reviving Ophelia
Stop the Hurting
Mary Pipher's bestselling Reviving Ophelia triggered widespread interest in the culture of preteen and teenage girls and the seeming epidemic of relational aggression (bullying) among them. Gossip, teasing, forming cliques, and other cruel behaviors are the basis of this bullying, which harms both victim and aggressor. Until now, no one has been able to offer practical and effective solutions that stop girls from hurting each other with words and actions. But in Girl Wars, two experts explain not only how to prevent such behavior but also how to intervene should it happen, as well as overcome the culture that breeds it.
Illustrated by compelling true stories from mothers and girls, the authors offer effective, easy-to-implement strategies that range from preventive to prescriptive, such as how to
-Adopt a "help, don't hurt" strategy
-Provide positive role models
-Teach communication skills online and off
-Stress assertiveness, not aggressiveness
-Learn conflict resolution skills
-Identify alternatives to bullying behavior
With their combined experience in offering and evaluating programs that combat bullying, the authors show that girls not only want to help rather than hurt each other, they can do so with guidance from concerned adults.
In this uniquely prescriptive guide, two experts show how to stop adolescent girls from hurting each other with cruel words and insensitive actions, offering parents and other concerned adults a positive program for building self-esteem and forming positive, supportive relationships. Mary Pipher's bestselling Reviving Ophelia triggered widespread interest in the culture of preteen and teenage girls, including the seemingly epidemic pattern of relational aggression hurting one's peers through gossip, teasing, forming cliques, and other insidious cruelties. Girl Wars explains how this behavior is damaging to both victim and abuser, why it happens, and how both individuals and groups can not only stop the behavior, but overcome the culture that breeds it. In an effective, easy-to-implement step-by-step program, the authors present strategies for tackling the entire issue, from preventative measures to uniting with others, to working to change the norms for girls in school and in society in general. Compelling true stories from mothers and daughters both victims and abusers illustrate the painful consequences of relational aggression, yet show that the behavior can be stopped and changed for the better. Above all Drs. Nixon and Dellasega show us that girls want to help each other and form positive relationships all they need is guidance from concerned adults to show them the way.
Includes bibliographical references (p. -233).
About the Author
Cheryl Dellasega, Ph.D., author of Surviving Ophelia
, is a nurse-practitioner, the mother of a teenaged daughter, and founder of Camp Ophelia, Club Ophelia, and other dynamic programs for girls. She is on the faculty of the College of Medicine at Penn State University in Hershey, Pennsylvania, where she lives.
Charisse Nixon, Ph.D., the mother of young girls, is an Ophelia Project board member and a developmental psychologist in the Department of Psychology at Penn State University in Erie, Pennsylvania. Her research is on relational aggression.
Table of Contents
INFORM YOURSELF AND OTHERS
The RA Facts of Life
Why Girls Are Prone to RA
What Is Equal Opportunity RA?
Strategies 2 and 3:
Build Her Anti-RA Skills at a Young Age
Give Girls the Courage to Be Kind
Begin with the First Hurts
When RA Is Sustained, Avoid the Blame Game
Enlist the Help of Others
Change the RA Way of Life
Offer Her Other Outlets and Opportunities
Give Her a Dose of Emotion Lotion
to Soothe and Support
Give Her a Tool Kit of Options
Strategies 11 and 12:
CHANGE THE CULTURE
Mothers and Others, Taking Action
A Rally for Ophelia
Cheryl's Camp: It's Not Like Any Other
Dads and Dealing with RA
A Club of Her Own:
Groups That Make a Difference
Develop Your Own Action Plan
to Make a Difference
Websites and Other Resources
Resources Available Through ClubOphelia.com
What's Your RA Quotient?
Conflict Resolution Skills