Excerpt
From Rule 6: Put the Kingdom Above the Booty, page 83:
Like Samson, many of us ignore the truth about someone we find attractive. We dig in our heels, fold our arms, and boldly declare that bad is good when it comes to our relationship choices. Despite advice to the contrary, we still insist, “She/he pleases me well.” If you find yourself thinking any of the following about people you are going out with, you need a dose of Gods truth, or you are headed for a fall:
· I just know I can fix him/her. We cannot even fix ourselves, thats why we needed a Savior! So how can we fix other folks, especially when they may resist being fixed? God would not give you an unsaved or unhealthy marriage partner to sap
all of your energy and render you useless in the kingdom.
If your love interest needs work, its likely to be work he or she should be doing with the Holy Spirit-alone. Your presence will only hinder the process. Dont date anyone until God fixes the major issues in that person first!
· Ive invested too much time and energy to quit now. We see the Doppler radar screen flashing: severe tornado warning: vacate premises immediately, but we decide to sit tight and see if it will pass. What happens if it doesnt? You may survive-though just barely-to find that your roof is blown off and it will take years to rebuild.
· Im scared of what he/she might do if I leave him/her. You should be more scared of what might happen to your self-esteem, self-respect, and peace of mind if you stay. Your choices are the only ones God holds you responsible for-only you can choose whats best for yourself.seeDeut30:19 Lamentations 1:9 warns, She did not consider her destiny; therefore her collapse was awesome. Do what you should do (break up nicely), and trust God to do what He does best (comfort and restore both of you-separately).
· Well, its better than being alone. You think a bad relationship is worse than no relationship? Wrong. The danger of spending time with the wrong person is that it can cause soul ties to form: They start out as threads, become wires, and before long theres a cable tied around your neck, choking you. You are never alone if you have a relationship with Jesus Christ. And you have so much to work on to get yourself ready for the special-sauce mate He has for you, you dont have time to give in to loneliness!
· But I luuuv him/her! Ah, yes. Love can do many things, but it cannot conquer another persons weak character or usurp someones will and force him or her to change. True love allows the loved one to experience the consequences of his or her decisions. As my (Chriss) pastor, Dr. A. R. Bernard, often says, “Suffer the pain of discipline or the pain of regret.”