Synopses & Reviews
Janis Abrahms Spring's long–awaited second book expertly tackles the sensitive issue of forgiveness by giving real people a new model from which they can heal from interpersonal injuries, by debunking myths, and by controversially setting the record straight that forgiveness is not the only all–or–nothing sound response to injury.
The topic of forgiveness is fast becoming one of the key concepts in psychotherapy. With illuminating anecdotes and case material based on nearly 30 years of clinical experience, Janis Spring controversially reveals that we have more options than just forgiving or not forgiving. From forgotten birthdays to deliberate sexual offences, infidelity and disloyalty, How Can I Forgive You? takes a bold new position that frees us from the corrosive effects of hate and helps us to make peace with both the person who has hurt us and with ourselves. By providing concrete, step–by–step instructions for both the hurt party and the offender, Spring brings to light a new, empowering model that is bound to change forever the way we think about forgiveness, regardless of whether or not the offending party is willing to apologise.
Review
“Spring really shines.... Armed with her insights, offenders and those theyve offended have hope of recovery.” Bellingham Herald
Review
“This book is a treasure trove for anyone who has ever felt betrayed or hurt by a personal relationship.” Peggy Papp, author of Couples on the Fault Line: New Directions for Therapists
Review
“A truly stellar book putting forgiveness in a new, revealing light and provides clear steps to turn wounds into wisdom.” Joan Borysenko, Ph.D., author of Minding the Body, Mending the Mind
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“Clear, insightful…a thoughtful exposition on the nuanced role of forgiveness in relationships that goes beyond the average self-help book.” Publishers Weekly
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“A fresh and original approach to an ancient challenge.” Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., author of Getting the Love You Want
Synopsis
Until now, we have been taught that forgiveness is good for us and that good people forgive. Dr. Spring, a gifted therapist and the award-winning author of
After the Affair, proposes a radical, life-affirming alternative that lets us overcome the corrosive effects of hate and get on with our lives—without forgiving. She also offers a powerful and unconventional model for genuine forgiveness—one that asks as much of the offender as it does of us.
This bold and healing book offers step-by-step, concrete instructions that help us make peace with others and with ourselves, while answering such crucial questions as these:
- How do I forgive someone who is unremorseful or dead?
- When is forgiveness cheap?
- What is wrong with refusing to forgive?
- How can the offender earn forgiveness?
- How do we forgive ourselves for hurting another human being?
Synopsis
"If you are struggling with issues of betrayal--or the challenge of whether and how to forgive--here is the most helpful and surprising book you will ever find on the subject."--Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., author of The Dance of Anger
Until now, we have been taught that forgiveness is good for us and that good people forgive. Dr. Janis Spring, a gifted therapist and the award-winning author of After the Affair, proposes a radical, life-affirming alternative that lets us overcome the corrosive effects of hate and get on with our lives--without forgiving. She also offers a powerful and unconventional model for genuine forgiveness--one that asks as much of the offender as it does of us.
This bold and healing book offers step-by-step, concrete instructions that help us make peace with others and with ourselves, while answering such crucial questions as these:
How do I forgive someone who is unremorseful or dead?When is forgiveness cheap?What is wrong with refusing to forgive?How can the offender earn forgiveness?How do we forgive ourselves for hurting another human being?
About the Author
Janis Abrahms Spring Ph.D., is a nationally acclaimed expert on issues of trust, intimacy, and forgiveness. A Diplomate in Clinical Psychology and a recipient of the Connecticut Psychological Association's Award for Distinguished Contribution to the Practice of Psychology, she has served as a clinical supervisor in the Department of Psychology at Yale University. Her first book,
After the Affair: Healing the Pain and
Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful, has sold over 300,000 copies and is published in 12 countries.
How Can I Forgive You? is a finalist for the Books for a Better Life Award.
Dr. Spring received her B.A. from Brandeis University, magna cum laude, her Ph.D. in clinical psychology from the University of Connecticut, and her post-graduate training from Aaron T. Beck, M.D., at the Center for Cognitive Therapy at the University of Pennsylvania. The richness and originality of her work make her a popular media guest and a prized presenter to both professional and lay audiences. In private practice for almost three decades, she resides in Westport, Connecticut. She and her husband, Michael Spring, have four sons.
Michael Spring is publisher of the Frommer's Travel Guides at John Wiley. He has a B.A. from Haverford College and an M.A. in English Literature from Columbia University.