Synopses & Reviews
From attachment-parenting hugs to Tiger Mom discipline, the so-called experts offer plenty of contradictory advice on how to raise the perfect child. So dont bother with their boring theories and instead follow the hilarious, if not so expert, suggestions in this book and surely (well, maybe) your precious offspring will turn out to be exactly what you want.
•Forget Mozartinspire a BILLIONAIRE in the womb by playing stock market bells and yelling like rally-crazed brokers.
• A GENIUS isnt made playing hide-and-seek, so stop your offspring from playing games with IQ-draining friends.
• A SUPER MODEL cant have fat (not even baby fat), so start her at birth on a diet of painkillers, cigarettes and vodka.
A hilarious parody that tells parents how to guarantee their child turns out exactly as desired no matter how ridiculous the parents' dream
Parents today are highly frustrated by kids who reach their mid-20s without achieving mind-boggling wealth and fame. Where is my Zuckerberg? My Bieber? What did I do wrong? Short answer everything! How to Raise a Billionaire Genius tells mom and dad how to fulfill all their expectations and live the lives they never had through their children. Forget hugs and understanding. This book explains how to push kids, mold them, and do anything necessary to ensure they grow up to fulfill their parent's most wildly unrealistic expectations. Starting from the moment of conception and going all the way through high school, How to Raise a Billionaire Genius includes step-by-step instructions, whimsical illustrations, and handy tips. Leaving nothing to chance, the book offers parents an opportunity to force their children into one of 19 exciting destinies from Musical Prodigy, Pro Athlete, and Beauty Queen to Genius, Billionaire, and Super Hero.
About the Author
is so dedicated to molding children that he had two beautiful twins of his own. He lives on a small island in British Columbia and laughs at people with plumbing and store bought clothes. Sean Campbell
is childless, so therefore his molding skills are innate. He lives in Vancouver, and once tried to learn how to play the now dusty piano in his house. It mocks him daily. They both write for PseudoExperts.com.