Synopses & Reviews
"A Private Diary" "Know Thyself"
August 30, 1855
If this volume should fall into the hands of any one to whom I have not myself entrusted it, I beg him at once to lay it down, and, if he cannot return it, to destroy it entirely; for in these pages I mean to write thoughts and feelings which no one but myself should know. My object is self-improvement; and I think one means to this end will be the faithful transcript of my thoughts and emotions, my hopes and fears, my sorrows and my joys.
On the 17th of last month, I was admitted to Harvard College free of conditions, and today I begin the first term of my freshman year, and, at the same time, a new era in my life. From this day I cease to be a burden upon my father, because he is unable to give me a college education, and therefore I intend to carry myself through the four years of my studies on borrowed money. From this day, then, I am practically my own master, and henceforth I must rely on my own efforts for support and existence in this money-getting world.
Here then I am last, where I am no longer under the watchful supervision of my parents, and where I am to act for myself, and use my own judgement in many matters which seldom are referred to the decision of a mere boy. It will be a most useful school in some respects, as giving me self-reliance, and habits of prudence and economy which must be learned sometime. But the idea of being in debt will cause much uneasiness, and will weigh upon me a good deal. Truly, I have proved my desire for an education to be sincere, in thus incurring a debt of more than a thousand dollars to begin life with, which will require a year or two, or even three, to pay. It is a desire whichI felt when I was too young to know what it really meant to "go to college." But, I now know the full value of the phrase, and would ten times make the sacrifice rather than forego my education.
September 23, 1855
September 27, 1855
... Just now a sophomore put a cracker filled with some bad-smelling stuff into my key-hole, and it popped in, but I luckily put it out immediately; nevertheless the smell thereof offendth my nostrils. These are the delights of "College Life."
October 3, 1855
Before I began to study tonight, I called on Shurtleff and Cilley, and there I smoked a cigar, and played a game of cards. I think it is foolish and wrong for me to smoke, since my parents would not approve it, and I cannot afford to spend much money in tobacco; but I like it, and it is pleasant to smoke if others around are doing the same thing. I know that it is a lack of moral courage to be unwilling to deny myself, but I suffer conscience to speak in vain in this matter, as I do in so many others. There! Those d d sophomores just popped through my keyhole another "infernal machine" in the shape of a quillfilled with powder, but luckily it did not go off, but onlyfizzed andfilled the room with the delicious perfume of burnt quill. A few minutes afterwards, one of the scoundrels climbed up, and pushed open my shutters violently, and then sneaked off. I should like to have his nose opposite myfist.
October 7, 1855
Synopsis
A living, breathing relic of the times, this is a deeply moving look into romance and tragedy in the life of a Victorian-era Harvard student and his beloved wife, through journal entries, letters, and images of the actual diary. Photos & art throughout.
Synopsis
That is the daguerreotype of my darling's innocent and beautiful soul ... her soul was the violet of my home, fragrant with heaven's own breezes, and lovely with a modest charm that kept me and keeps me her lover as in the days of yore.
--Francis Ellignwood Abbot, 1894
About the Author
Brian A. Sullivan was senior reference archivist at the Harvard University Archives and was the recipient of the Harvard University Douglas Bryant Fellowship in 2000. He has spent the past several years transcribing the journals of Francis Ellingwood Abbot and of John Langdon Sibley, Harvard College librarian. He lives in Boston, Massachusetts.