Excerpt
Did you hear the one about the lion who ate clowns?
Youll roar.
Did you hear the one about the donkey who watched
Country Music Television?
Youll hee-haw.
Why shouldnt you shortchange a skunk?
Its bound to make a stink.
What did the judge say when the skunk came in to testify?
Odor in the court!
There were these two buddies out walking their dogs, one with a Doberman pinscher and the other with a Chihuahua, when they smelled something delicious coming from a nearby restaurant.
The guy with the Doberman says to his friend, “Lets go over to that restaurant and get something to eat.” The guy with the Chihuahua says, “ We cant go in there. Weve got dogs with us.” The buddy with the Doberman says, “Just follow my lead.” He puts on a pair of dark glasses and walks into the restaurant, when the restaurant owner comes up and says, “Sorry, pal, no pets allowed.” The man with the Doberman replies, “You dont understand. This is my Seeing Eye dog.”
The owner, skeptical, says, “A Doberman pinscher?” The Dobermans master says, “Yes, theyre using them now—theyre very good and they protect me from robbers, too.” The owner says, “ Come on in.”
When the man with the Chihuahua sees this, he puts on a pair of dark glasses and starts to walk in. Once again the restaurant owner says, “Sorry, pal, no pets allowed.” The guy with the Chihuahua says, “You dont understand. This is my Seeing Eye dog.”
“A Chihuahua?” says the owner.
The man with the dog replies, “ A Chihuahua? They gave me a Chihuahua?!”
What do you call an overweight cat?
A flabby tabby.
Why was the rabbit so unhappy?
She was having a bad hare day.
How do you catch a squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a nut.