Synopses & Reviews
A lifesaving handbook for parents of children who are occasionally, or too often, out of control” Includes a bound-in twenty-minute DVD featuring Dr. Kazdin and his staff illustrating key concepts of the Kazdin Method Most child-behavior books are filled with advice that sounds reasonable, fits with what parents already believe about child-rearing, and isas Dr. Kazdin proves guaranteed to fail. The Kazdin Method for Parenting the Defiant Child makes available to parents for the first time Dr. Kazdins proven programone backed up by some of the most long-term and respected research devoted to any therapy for children.
Kazdin shatters decades worth of accumulated myths about tantrums, time-outs, punishments fitting the crime, and much more.With the practicality of Ferber and the warmth of Brazelton, Kazdin leads parents through every step of the Kazdin Method in actionhow to use tone of voice, when and how to touch, how to lead your child in a practice” session, how to adjust your approach for different-age children, how to involve siblings, and more.The program is temporary, but the results are permanentfor very young children, adolescents, and even beyond.
"This study will be gratefully received by many for its advice on how our increasing understanding of adolescent development can be put to practical use in helping adolescents through emotional and behavioral tumult ... Steinberg's audience is as broad as his approach and includes parents, educators, politicans, businesspeople, and health care professionals. A clear and canny look into the adolescent brain that will help influence adolescent lives for the better." —Kirkus Reviews
"This is a convincing and eloquent call for change." —Publishers Weekly
"Steinberg forces us to rethink our assumptions, and ... includes some fascinating advice ... Steinberg's essential book serves the same purpose for parents of adolescents as the work of the late Louise Ames did for those of babies, toddlers, and young children: it makes sense of these mysterious creatures." — Huffington Post
"Simply the best book I have ever read about adolescence, and I say this as both the father of seven and as a scientist who works in this field. Steinberg guides us through truly novel findings on what happens during adolescence and tells us how, as parents and teachers, we should change our ways." — Martin E. P. Seligman, Ph. D., author of Learned Optimism and The Optimistic Child
"As a mother of two boys and an educator, I am so grateful Laurence Steinberg has written this amazing book. He not only clearly and elegantly communicates the newest insights into understanding teenagers' brains but also shows how adults can manage ourselves when we get frustrated with teens' behavior." — Rosalind Wiseman, author of Queen Bees and Wannabes and Masterminds and Wingmen
"If you need to understand adolescents — whether your own or anyone else's — you must read this book. Steinberg explains why most of our presumptions about adolescence are dead wrong and reveals the truth about this exciting and unnerving stage of life. Written with warmth, lucidity, and passion, Age of Opportunity will fill parents with relief by demystifying their children. Educators and policy-makers should study it carefully." — Jennifer Senior, author of All Joy and No Fun
"I love this book! Steinberg has blended the latest research with his decades of expertise to give us a bold new view of the perils and promise of adolescence." — Daniel J. Siegel, M.D., Clinical Professor, UCLA School of Medicine, and author of Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain
"Clear, evidence-based, and solutions-oriented, Age of Opportunity is the roadmap you need whether you already have a teen or young adult, or are preparing for one." — Madeline Levine, Ph.D., author of The Price of Privilege and Teach Your Children Well
"A fascinating and important book. What every parent, teacher and counselor MUST know about the adolescent brain, its vulnerabilities, and its tremendous possibilities." — Carol Dweck, Professor of Psychology, Stanford University, and author of Mindset
"A masterful summary of what science has recently discovered about adolescence. I learned something new on every page." — Angela Duckworth, Ph.D., MacArthur Fellow and Associate Professor of Psychology, University of Pennsylvania
"This fascinating book gives us cause for concern, cause for hope and cause for celebration. Whether you're a parent or an adolescent yourself, you should read it. There's information in these pages that could change and improve your life." — Peg Tyre, author of The Good School: How Smart Parents Get Their Kids the Education They Deserve
"Steinberg explains how 'abnormal' adolescent behavior is actually 'normal.' This book belongs on the shelf of every parent, teacher, youth worker, counselor, judge — heck, anyone interested in pre-teens and teenagers." — David Walsh, Ph.D., author of Why Do They Act That Way?
"Based on cutting-edge research and the wisdom of a leading authority in the field, this magnificent book will captivate parents, teachers, policy-makers and adolescents themselves." — Sarah-Jayne Blakemore, Ph.D., Professor of Cognitive Neuroscience, University College, London
The world's leading authority on adolescence presents original new research that explains, as no one has before, how this stage of life has changed and how to steer teenagers through its risks and toward its rewards.
A leading authority draws on new research to explain why the adolescent years are so developmentally crucial, and what we must do to raise happier, more successful kids.
Adolescence now lasts longer than ever before. And as world-renowned expert on adolescent psychology Dr. Laurence Steinberg argues, this makes these years the key period in determining individuals’ life outcomes, demanding that we change the way we parent, educate, and understand young people.
In Age of Opportunity, Steinberg leads readers through a host of new findings — including groundbreaking original research — that reveal what the new timetable of adolescence means for parenting 13-year-olds (who may look more mature than they really are) versus 20-somethings (who may not be floundering even when it looks like they are). He also explains how the plasticity of the adolescent brain, rivaling that of years 0 through 3, suggests new strategies for instilling self-control during the teenage years. Packed with useful knowledge, Age of Opportunity is a sweeping book in the tradition of Reviving Ophelia, and an essential guide for parents and educators of teenagers.
About the Author
LAURENCE STEINBERG, Ph.D. is one of the world’s leading experts on adolescence. He is Distinguished University Professor of Psychology at Temple University, in Philadelphia. Dr. Steinberg is the author of more than 350 articles and essays on development during the teenage years, and the author or editor of fourteen books, including You and Your Adolescent, The 10 Basic Principles of Good Parenting, Beyond the Classroom, and Adolescence, the leading college textbook on the subject. He has been a featured guest on numerous television programs, including CBS Morning News, Today, Good Morning America, 20/20, Dateline, PBS News Hour, and The Oprah Winfrey Show, and is a frequent consultant on adolescence for print and electronic media, including the New York Times and NPR. He has also written for the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Washington Post, USA Today, and Psychology Today. A graduate of Vassar College and Cornell University, Dr. Steinberg is a Fellow of the American Academy of Arts and Sciences, the American Psychological Association, and the Association for Psychological Science.
Table of Contents
Introduction i The Method 3 Where the Method Comes From 5 Getting the Word Out 8 So, Relax 11
1. Seven Myths of Effective Parenting 13
2. Everything You Need to Know (Except How) 30 The Positive Opposite 30 Positive Reinforcement 31 Reinforced Practice 32 Shaping 33 Extinction 34 Putting It All Together: ABC 35 Q & A 36
3. Putting the Method in Place: Transitions, Tantrums, and a Very Young Child 44 Define the Problem and Its Positive Opposite 45 Get Started Right Away 46 What to Expect the First Week 58 Keys to Success 59
4. Your Six- to Twelve-Year-Old: Supermarket Scenes, Late for School, Sibling Squabbles, Homework Avoidance, and More 66 Supermarket Scenes 70 Late for School 75 Sibling Squabbles 84 Squabbling Friends 87 Homework Avoidance 88 Involving a Teacher 91
5. Your Preadolescent: Bad Attitude, Bad Language, Home Alone, and Much More 94 A Little Perspective 96 Whats with Them? 97 Pushing the Limits 101 Family Values 104 The Art of Compromise 106 Adapting the Method to Preadolescents 107 Bad Attitude 109 Swearing 114 Messy Room 115 After School on His Own 118 Practicing an Instrument 119 Negotiating 120 Blowups and Everyday Life 122
6. Punishment: The Most Misunderstood, Misused, and Overused Tool in the Parental Toolbox 126 Multiple Motives Lead to Punishment Myths 128 Effects and Side Effects of Punishment 129 How to Punish 133 A Common Punishment: Time-Out 141
7. Special Situations: How to Jump-Start Behavior, Work with More Than One Child, and Handle Low-Rate Misbehaviors 147 Jump-Starting Behavior 147 Consequence Sharing 154 Group Programs 159 Low-Rate Programs 161
8. Troubleshooting 168 When You Need to Troubleshoot 170 Common Problems (and Quick Fixes for Them) 171 Troubleshooting the Basics 172 A Couple of Common Questions, Quickly Answered 181 Advanced Troubleshooting 182
9. Your Childs Wider World 184 Good Behavior for Good 185 Fading the Program 188 Transferring Behaviors to New Situations 190 You Already Did the Hard Part 206
10. Parenting Stress and Household Chaos 208 Parenting Stress 209 Effects of Parenting Stress on Parent and Child Behavior 212 Effects of Stress on Attachment 214 What to Do About Parenting Stress 215 Stress Research and Family Stories 216 Household Chaos 219 Seeking Professional Help for Yourself 226
11. Beyond the Method 229 When and Why the Program Doesnt Change Behaviors 229 Medication and Diet 234 Seeking Help for Your Child 239
Conclusion: Positive Parenting 249 Appendix: Age-Appropriate Rewards for Children 265 Index 269